If Technicolor grappling pants were the building blocks of masculinity, Shinya Aoki would be the basis for every solid stone sculpture of an alpha-male shooting liquid out of his mouth into fountains in Japan. Every time you throw a coin into the water, all your dreams would come true, but by some technicality of the law you’ would hallucinate and end up in a jail cell beside Lindsay Lohan discussing how silly Lebron was for not coming to the Knicks.
LiLo probably isn’t a Knicks fan. Some of us wonder if she’s even a real person. Tonight, while she interviews candidates to take over her Twitter account while she serves 90 days in jail for DUI, we’ll be watching DREAM 15 where Shinya Aoki will defend his lightweight championship belt against Tatsuya Kawajir as the fate of America’s favorite colony is at stake. Sometime while you were sleeping, the Baka Survivor (which translates into stupid survivor) weighed in alongside his opponent, and a brief exchange broke out that went a lot like this:
Kawajiri: “I don’t really like to take a look at men’s bodies, so I didn’t really look at him. He said he’ll surprise the fans. I’ll make sure ours will be a shocking fight,”
Aoki: “I like both men and women. His body is a nice body, and if we both fight with men’s spirit, we can have a fight that everyone wants to see.”
In the UFC, fighters tend to be a bit more polished with their smack talk while in Japan they’ve become enamored with discussing one’s bodies immediately following a weigh in. Don’t let the sensual dialogue fool you, Aoki is fresh off a training camp that included a stop in the 209 and plans on reminding the world why Japanese MMA is like the Wu-Tang Clan of combat sports. The show kicks off tonight at 3:00am ET and if for no other reason, you should tune in just to see what color grappling pants are in style this season. Nobody wants to look like a fool at their dojo. [Source]