Demetrious Johnson becomes the UFC’s first Flyweight champion

Hopefully Matt Hume will sit down with Demetrious Johnson and help him with his severe cardio problem. If the fight went to the 93rd round, I think Mighty Mouse would have actually dropped a few beads of sweat on the mat. In reality, Demetrious Johnson has the gas tank of a Micro-Machine — which essentially means he could continuously fight inside of an Octagon until geometry decays from the physical universe. You could make those little Micro-Machine cars go anywhere without fueling up — something that the modern-day car industry should definitely look into. The only requirement was a steady finger and a low farting noise that apparently replicates the sound of a car engine.

Before UFC 152, I ate lunch with Matt Hume and he visually looked concerned with Johnson’s fight against Benavidez. Perhaps it was something that he ate and he was just holding in some incredibly noxious gas. Regardless, Mighty Mouse is the first UFC flyweight champion — and that’s reason to throw him a pizza and ice cream party in his honor.

Published on September 23, 2012 at 4:04 am
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