I rarely leave my apartment in Hollywood in fear that something out there will alter my life in a negative way. Tonight, I stayed up in fear that I would sleepwalk and accidentally venture out of my front door. It’s too dangerous out there in the wilderness of the real world. There are these things called ‘cars’ that you have to watch out for. Sometimes they run over people, sometimes they don’t. However, ‘sometimes’ is an infinitely larger probability than ‘never,’ so I can’t risk it. Confined in my bubble of fabricated security, I can control every variable within my apartment without the need to do any real social interaction. It’s great. You should try it more often. Being a hermit can also greatly reduce the chance of Dan Henderson fracturing your entire skull. We’re not talking about a concussion here. A literal fissure opening up within the plate of bones that protect your brain due to a person hitting you really hard on the head. See folks, that’s what I don’t go outside. On my list of ‘The Worst Things That Can Happen To Me,’ having my skull punched in so hard that it fractures is just under ‘Being a pre-teen boy trapped in a locker room with Jerry Sandusky.’ What, too soon? If so, what is the expiration date one can reference an alleged child molester? There’s not really a written rule on that, but I’m going to go with two weeks since that’s the exact length it takes me to pay attention to non-MMA related sports news.
Doctors believe Shogun Rua may have fractured his skull at UFC 139. Shogun’s manager says he’s fine. Now we have a classic case of ‘Fractured Skull Roulette’ (You haven’t played that? Well, you’re missing out). Eduardo Alonso told MMAFighting that Shogun just has a small laceration above his eye and a few bruises on his face, however doctors have still placed the former UFC light heavyweight champion on a six-month long suspension until they can determine whether he does in fact have a cracked skull. Dan Henderson has also been placed on a six-month suspension while he undergoes a MRI/CT scan for a potential thumb fracture. These guys nearly fell apart putting on a show for us, let’s hope they can reform once again like T-1000 in Terminator 2. Props to Heavy MMA for the picture. [Source]
