Dr. Dre isn’t an actual medical doctor, but Cowboy Cerrone is a real cowboy. I’m not sure what happened there. Something must have collapsed in the chain of communication. Dr. Dre practicing medicine is just about as realistic as that villain from Care Bears being a threat to humanity. If a group of plush animals can defeat a villain by shooting ‘love energy’ out of their chest, I’m sure the US military can place a couple of bullets between its eyes and eradicate evil forever. A Care Bear villain is an adorable nuisance that deserves to be hugged. Come to think of it, those little guys didn’t fix anything in this world. Damn, my childhood is filled with lies — and cavities.
Cowboy Cerrone doesn’t have this problem because he’s a friggin’ cowboy. The dude wears a hat and has his name tattooed on his back just in case he forgets. Tonight we witnessed what happens when a fighter believes they can get away with wearing sunglasses indoors. The reality is, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Melvin lost the fight before he even entered the cage. Eventually fighters will discard the Eminem walkout music and save the shades for outdoors, but until then, we will see a plethora of guys living up to these two jinxes. Or is it Jinxi? Either way, Cerrone was the victor of tonight’s fight — and as Stephen Quadros told me shortly after the bout ended: Muay-thai defeats boxing, every time.