Some visionaries are just way ahead of their time. MMA used to be like that. We were exiled underground and had to search for tapes like the seedy voyeurs we were. An entire universe has morphed and mutated since 1993, and the once unknown sport is now one of the largest forms of entertainment in the world. In an alternate timeline, Combaton probably could have followed the same path MMA carved. It seemed to never get its shot, banished forever as a joke, but 2017 is a lot different than 2011 and I say now is the time for Combaton.
I mean, who wouldn’t love this sport!? Ok, the rules read like the ultra-convoluted Whack-Bat instructions from Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr. Fox, but all you need to know is people get kicked in the face. A lot. Basically, you have to be holding a baton and kick the fishing line baton on the opposite team’s side to score. While you’re running as fast as you can to Yair Rodriguez a dangling stick, other dudes can straight Edson Barboza you and take the baton. You can even do wrestling takedowns and judo throws.
The wilder you kick the baton — if you’re stationary, flying and/or spinning — the more points you get. …But who cares about points when there are like thirty people kicking each other simultaneously?! I’m a firm believer in this strange football, baton, Taekwondo hybrid. With MMA at its height, now is the time to fight for Combaton to be the premiere sport of our generation. Jose Aldo was going to leave the UFC to play soccer anyway, I think he should play this instead.
Watch this fun and informative video below which will explain to you all about the wonders of Combaton.