In the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, ‘midgets’ are God’s chosen people. For those of you who don’t think that’s a real religion, keep in mind that their heaven includes a beer volcano and a stripper factory, so at the very least, you should consider converting. The movement isn’t exclusively for little people, but being small is welcome. Not sure about the rules, but I’m certain Oompa Loompas and retired MMA fighters are automatically treated like demigods the moment they hop onboard. I’d go into more details, but there’s already a good likelihood that several religious members of our audience are already searching for the “Contact Us” section to annoy us until we repent for discussing false Gods. It happens whenever religion is brought up, so we’re just going to show you this video of Chuck Liddell and these Oompa Loompas desecrating the Stanley Cup in a night of drunken debauchery with the L.A. Kings that could only be described as an elaborate Pastafarian celebration ritual. Have you been touched by his noodle-y appendage?
