I’m a pretty open guy, I’m willing to try new things, but I hope I’m never involved in a scenario where I’m unarmed and being robbed by a trio of Guatemalan bandits who are waving their machetes around with a gusto only Central American’s can muster. No sir, I have no problem with needles but my greatest death fears involve being eaten by a medium sized shark and being hacked to pieces by machete wielding mad men…Or just being stabbed in general. Read this scary account of Cesar Gracie fighter Caleb Mitchell’s trip to Guatemala, in which he fended off his attackers with the power of the 209.
This is Caleb’s Facebook post from Guatemala. He might still be stuck out there without his passport.
Its hard to put all in writing
better story told in person, had to just post highlights
I was in a car with my friend Susan, driving to san marcos la laguna Guatemala from Antigua, Guatemala
The road was blocked off with rocks one town over from san marcos in san Pablo la laguna
I said “this isnt right seems like a jack move”,
“dont get out roll up the windows and lock the doors”
· she said what do we do, I said I dont know
Susan said she would get out and move the rocks, if anything happens I can get out and protect her
I said no way if anyone is getting out to do anything its me, you stay in the car because if you get out there is no way I will be able to protect you, we will both be helpless
I still didn’t want to get out
I wanted to back up and wait for another car to come
She said I am going to get out and move them, she unlocked her door and motioned to open it.
I said NO, ok I will get out and move the rocks, if anything happens get out of here, do NOT get out of the car!
I got out, quietly and quickly moved two rocks, grabbed the third one and they came out of the brush; two with machetes one with a rock in hand
I ran a couple steps, tripped, they chased
I got up and ran up a little mound of sand off the side of the road
they caught up with me and were grabbing all over me
Susan drove a few feet forward and then they threw a rock at her car, blowing out her back left taillight, and denting the fender a little.
Then Susan, knowing that getting out of the car would only make matters worse, drove up the hill into town to get help and reinforcements
I struggled a little with the banditios but said ok ok I will give it to you as they demanded for my money
· they knocked me to the ground
· holding me and trying to force hands in my pockets
when I was on the ground I gripped a large rock thinking about hitting one in the head with it and then came to the conclusion that would be the death of me so I let go of it.
They continued riffling in my pockets
they couldn’t get my wallet out, too fat, and I had my hand in my pocket acting like I was going to take it out for them but really I was stuffing the pocket making it difficult for them to take the wallet
One guy slapped me with the side of the machete in my left side
I got pretty fucking scared for my life
I stood up and one guy with a machete stuck one hand in my pocket leaving the machete in his other hand, I went for it, he started telling his friends that I was trying to take the machete.
The rock guy grabbed a big rock and acted like he wanted to bash my head in with it, getting very aggressive, motioning towards me and telling his friends to move so he could get me
I maneuvered the other two in between us as a shield and ducked behind them a little bit
When I realized I was going to get my head bashed in by the rock, I made a strong move for the machete with both hands and twisted it out of the guys grip
I swung the machete over him and nailed the guy with the rock in his left side ribs as he was holding his arms up motioning to hit me with his rock, he disappeared into the night
Then my head and sight went a little blurry, I didn’t realize it at the time but, I got hit in the side of the head with the other machete.
I swung my machete back and think I hit the guy who hit me in the side as he ran by me to get away.
I was still standing
Only me and the guy that had slapped me with the machete and who I had disarmed, remained
I pushed him, he tried to run but fell down the mound of sand into the road, I chased and could’ve hacked him up but instead I let him get up to run
He ran three feet right into another pile of sand and fell again, he turned over facing upwards and motioning his hands upwards as to block any possible machete strikes coming down from me.
I stood over him with the machete motioning-fainting as to hit him with the machete but really just wanting him to get up and run away saying git tss tsss..
he got up and ran , then I ran too, I ran as fast as I could up the road slash hill where Susan had driven off into the night
i was still carrying the machete
I ran faster than my legs would go so I fell, got up and continued running, looked back when halfway up the hill, thought about walking but then decided I better continue running as my life depended on it.
I get to the top and there are a bunch of locals in san pablo la laguna
I said did you see a girl…forgetting that they prob don’t understand English but,
They said si ella va ariba para recoher la policia (Yes she went up to pick up the police)
I ran my hands all around my head checking for blood, my head was throbbing, I was sure that I would be bleeding, miraculously there was no blood detected, and the natives said there was no blood as well.
they gave me wáter
Susan returned with the police and we went back down to search the area for my phones and passport
I found my local phone and baggage claim ticket but nothing else, then we told the police, ok we are going to go now and they said ok…we drove off, no police report, no interview, nothing.
When I reached my grandfathers place, My Mayan friend David was at the house and he and Susan treated my wounds, using alcohol, salt water and aloe vera…..I felt amazing, thinking that somehow played out about as well as it possibly could have, despite having scrapes and bruises on my hands, knees, elbows, knuckles and a throbbing headache from a machete chop to the right side of my head just above my ear.
I still have the machete
I was bleeding a little and had a horrible headache all night, I did not sleep in fear of a possible concussion and due to an overwhelming amount of adrenaline.
I was not struck hard, I am alright, although there was a small blood line and cut about 3 inches long but not deep
I did not draw blood on my adversary, or at least the machete had no blood on it
·I think it may have been too dull to cut through his clothes but I hit him full force swing so I think I must have broken a few ribs
In conclusion, Guatemala is a dangerous place, but adventure makes life interesting. “The more I train, the luckier I get”. It is great to be alive so live everyday like it could be your last while still planning for the future and don’t be afraid to love because there is no time to hold back. Have no fear, because fear clogs cognitive thinking. Don’t be afraid to die because if you fear death you will never really live. / Caleb Mitchell 3 19 2012