Its 5am on Sunday and I just spent the last 3 hours cursing from stepping on 138 Power Ranger toys and hand picking out of the carpet pieces of smooched vanilla wafers. This is what happens when three 2 year olds visit your home. Sure I could have just vacuumed it up right? No-I broke my vacuum cleaning up somebody’s “I can’t hold my liquor” vomit from WEC 46 when Miguel Torres’ forehead became a makeshift vagina. So pardon me in advance if my picks sound a little crabby…
Pierce vs Paulino
Paulino? C’mon son. He’s being thrown to the dogs. Pierce is hot.
Schaub vs Gromley
Brendan is looking good. YAY Brendan!
Howard vs Roberts
Ah OK, I was just now starting to dose off while I watching a replay of the weigh ins-but this one kind of woke me up…Doomsday gets it via way more radder haircut.
Elkins vs Ludwig
I always pick Ludwig because his nickname ‘Bang’ makes me laugh like Beavis and Butthead.
Matyushenko vs Marshall
The Janitor versus the Fire Marshall? Firemen are always hotter than janitors. They have shirtless calendars for Jesus Christ Superstar’s sake. Have you ever seen a shirtless janitor calendar? I think not. Seriously, though if you have keep it to yourself, I don’t think I want to see it.
Gugherty vs Guida
Whenever I see Clay Guida I imagine at any moment the Geico caveman guys are going to show up and break out into Eddie Van Halen style battling guitar solos. I think Clay Guida is probably the most entertaining Rockband player ever. I think he’s going to win this fight too.
Irvin vs Sakara
A dinosaur fruit snack just fell from the ceiling and hit me in the eye. Not sure what I missed during this weigh in and I’m not interested enough to replay it. I’m picking Sakara via more badass tattoos.
Buentello vs Kongo
Kongo is a gigantic human being. I love his fight face. Its not so much hardcore and angry as it is thoroughly annoyed and bothered by the fact that it has to share the same breathing space with his opponent. That’s about what my face looks like right now after being pummeled by a killer flying fruit snack. I’m picking Kongo via our perturbed camaraderie.
Gonzaga vs Dos Santos
Looks like Gonzaga is going down twice today. First via Syracuse and the other via Dos Santos. Sorry, I’ve been devoting some of my freetime to March Madness lately too.
Jones vs Vera
I am extremely stoked about this fight. When this fight comes on I will no longer be pissed off about being impaled by fruit snacks, tripping over power ranger toys or picking vanilla wafer pieces off the bottom of my knee socks. Jones is one of my favorite fighters and so is Vera. No matter who wins, I won’t be disappointed with the outcome of this fight. I’ve been going back and forth on my pick for this one for weeks now, two days ago I picked Vera and I think I’m going to just go ahead and pick Jones today.