When your UFC Facebook prelim is lagging, it’s Bruce Buffering. If Bruce ever released a cook book, the title would be ‘It’s Thyme!’ The first recipe would be called ‘We are chive!’ Those are the only Bruce Buffer jokes I have at the moment. One of them actually belongs to MiddleEasyer @MickMacAttack. It’s too hot to be creative in Los Angeles this weekend. I’m typing this from a film set with Josh Barnett and Bobby Lashley manhandling my nunchucks. In this instance, ‘nunchucks’ is not a sexual euphemism. They’re literally twirling my nunchucks around like a 5th grader in drill team.
It’s also important to note that we still have a copy of Bruce Buffer’s new book to give away. We tried giving it to one of you guys in a caption contest, but all of you psychos downvoted every comment into oblivion.
Don’t expect us to give away the book in this article, either. You guys are just too silly for organized gatherings. However, what you can expect is to listen to Bruce Buffer talk about the time when he fought Royce Gracie before the UFC was even invented.