Bigfoot’s camp responds to the allegation of illegal use of psyhic abilities

A convenience store that is closed is never convenient. It’s only convenient when the open sign is flipped to ‘open’. Sort of like when a person’s mind is flipped to ‘open’, it makes it easier for scientists to infiltrate their brain and control their thoughts — via an illegal (and hidden) psychic device. You’ve read the article of Vladimir Voronov’s allegation that ‘forbidden psychological technology’ was used against Fedor this past weekend. Now Bigfoot Silva’s manager, Alex Davis, has responded to his psychic claim with a little bit of their own psychological babble.

“Jeez!! I got [caught!] I will have to come out with the truth now! I hired a Macumbeiro (Brazilian witch doctor) and we killed a black chicken on the crossroads. After this, over a few beers, I showed the witch doctor Fedor’s fights, and he was worried that a chicken wouldn’t be enough, so we went out and killed a black goat just to make sure! Very potent stuff! Really messed Fedor’s brain waves up! We wanted to try that other military stuff Voronov is talking about, but it’s expensive technology and we were broke! The chicken and the goat came out way cheaper. Witch doctor is a friend; [he] did it for a few beers and an autograph!”

Not sure what PETA is going to say about Bigfoot’s camp using live animals to deter Fedor’s game. But realistically, if humans aren’t supposed to eat meat, how can modern science explain Jerome Bettis? [Source]

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