Should there even be an intro to this article? It’s the official MiddleEasy Staff picks for UFC 172 — what else needs to be said? Let’s see, everyone should read more Marshall McLuhan. That definitely need to be said. Also, when parking on the side of the street be sure to pull up as close to the car in front of you so you can create space for another person to fit in behind you. That’s it. Now enjoy our UFC 172 picks.
Max Holloway is way better than his last outing showed against that Conor McGregor, and he’ll show it here, because no one knows who Andre Fili is.
Sitting here in my office and reading Max Holloway is fighting reminds me that I’m going to Hawaii next week. I’ve never been but I’ve always dreamed of going. The beautiful beaches, the amazing weather, and the thoughts of Hawaiian BBQ have haunted me for months and finally it’s happening. I guess that means Holloway will win this one via TKO.
Right now I’m just sitting here, staring at the little blinking cursor on the screen right now. I had to Google both of these guys and I’m still not sure who either one is outside of what Wikipedia tells me. This is truly the most stacked card in UFC history. Fili wins through an act of God.
Andre ‘Touchy’ Fili has to be one of the best nicknames in the sport. It’s like Andre saw the opportunity, and took it. But nicknames aside, Holloway by decision.
I remember a few months ago the MMA world raged when someone stumbled on Fili’s Instagram account and discovered he could serve as a high representative of the hipsters if something were to ever happen to Ian McCall. I bet when Fili goes on Tinder, every right swipe is an instant match. That should make me despise the guy, and maybe I do, but he’s definitely beating Holloway at UFC 172.
I heard Jim Miller called Yancy a ‘Nancy’ at the weigh-ins then completely disappeared when he put on his camouflage jacket like Harry Potter putting on the cloak of invisibility. Thus, Jim Miller wins.
I imagine eating beef jerky and drinking beers with Jim Miller would be really fun, but what if it got awkward? I was born and raised on the west coast (contrary to popular belief that I was raised in west Philadelphia) and have much different sensibilities than Mr. Miller. I could easily see us having a good ol’ time until sensitive subjects such as gun control and the current state of politics are brought up. I could be wrong though. Jim Miller might be on the same page as me and I’m starting to feel bad about jumping to conclusions here so I will choose Jim Miller via submission.
The Miller brothers are easily the best thing going in MMA today when it comes to tough dudes who like to grapple. Sorry Diaz brothers, but you guys bring the crazy pretty well and stuff, but Nick isn’t active, so the Miller brothers win by default. Jim Miller wins by being Jim Miller.
Miller is better than Medeiros in every way possible. I expect a quick finish.
I still can’t get over the job Nate Diaz pulled off when he fought Jim Miller in New Jersey in 2012. That weekend also marked the first time I had sex with my ex-girlfriend. That’s how I notch intervals in my life, by who I’ve slept with. Nah, I only wish — it’s by numbered UFC fight cards. You do the same thing, so don’t judge me for it. Throughout the years your life has been dictated by whether there’s a UFC card on the weekend. We’re all under control, and if you don’t have your tinfoil hat on at this exact moment, ZUFFA will most likely read your thoughts. Perhaps they already have. Why else do you think they have those silly satellites in their PPV show opening? They know.
Luke Rockhold has found his anger. He’s fighting with a major chip on his shoulder now, which is good, because everyone knows you can’t surf with a chip on your shoulder – you fall off your board, bro. I don’t know if that’s actually science, but I think it may be. I believe in Luke Rockhold, and in this case, I will pick Beauty over the Beast. Luke is better than Tim in every way, and has a 100% win ratio over people named ‘Tim.’
I met Luke Rockhold once, shortly after he won the Strikeforce Middleweight Championship. His smile was like a warm beacon amidst the sweaty, dingy, hostile environment that is the American Kickboxing Academy. His presence illuminated the room and I felt a euphoric feeling grow deep inside of my belly. As soon as he opened his mouth this all went away. The cockiness he exuded really left a bad taste in my mouth, which was strange because I didn’t like him or kiss him or anything. He’s such a cock guy. That being said, I think he will defeat Boetsch via TKO at some point in the fight.
Luke Rockhold is a handsome man, I think that we can all admit to that. If you can’t then I’m not sure how secure you are in your sexuality. I’m to be wed soon, so I’m pretty secure in mine. Tim Boetsch is awesome in that way of being a super tough dude that hits hard and is pretty cool. I never believed in Luke Rockhold and I truly feel bad for that, because he is a fine fighter, so I’ll say he wins here.
Redneck judo ain’t happening in this fight. Rockhold by decision.
My friend Val that lives in San Francisco dated Luke Rockhold and finally got into the MMA world, for like 14 seconds. She also befriended King Mo and they still talk to this day. Someone should make the ‘Kevin Bacon game’ for King Mo. I hope you guys understand that previous sentence because I really don’t want to explain what the Kevin Bacon game is. Google exists for a reason. Any question my friends ask that relates to a current or historical fact, I hesitate and quietly think ‘why the heck don’t they just search for it on the internet?’ Everything is there, stop asking me stuff — unless it’s who’s going to win between Luke Rockhold and Tim Boetsch, because the answer is Luke Rockhold.
Phil Davis is overlooking Anthony Johnson, this much is obvious. He shouldn’t be, as AJ is the type of dude who can ruin Phil’s night with his explosiveness no matter how explosive Phil’s explosiveness truly is. Granted, Phil has his NCAA Division I explosiveness, but AJ has that independent circuit explosiveness that really challenged him as a man, if not his explosive nature. So, explosions abound. Which will be larger, and which can overcome the other? On paper, it should be Phil. Yeah, Phil.
Remember when you had to buy Rumble Pak’s for your Nintendo64? What a strange time. Why did they forget the ‘c’ in pack, or was it a conscious decision? I refuse to believe that someone at Nintendo did that on purpose so I will always consider it a huge blunder on their behalf. I miss those days. One time, my uncle and I rigged a 65 watt guitar amp to the TV so we could play Madden 64 and have it sound like we were in the stadium. It was a relatively immersive experience but it didn’t really come together until we started playing with Rumble Pa(c)ks. This leads me to believe Phil Davis will win via unanimous decision.
Anthony Rumble Johnson was an abomination at Welterweight, he just was. He was too damned big and it felt like he was cheating. Eventually he was unable to make that weight and everyone looked down upon him. Now he holds a win over Andrei Arlovski at Heavyweight. WTF?! I’ve never been on the Phil Davis train (trane?!) and I’m not looking to start here, so I guess if we lived in a world where defeating someone meant absorbing their soul that I’d be picking Andrei Arlovski over Phil Davis by picking Rumble Johnson, and I’m okay with that.
Phil Davis spent most of his time in the conference call being Alexander Gustafsson’s hypeman, instead of focusing on Johnson. So, it would be hilarious (and kind of warranted) if Johnson just lays him out with a headkick. Johnson should probably keep this on the feet instead of taking it to the ground where Davis could just submit him. But, you know, Davis and them eye pokes. He could take a page out of Kevin Burns’ book and blatantly poke Rumble in the eye right in front of the referee, and still pick up a KO win.
In the history of MiddleEasy, one of our most instigating interviews we’ve ever conducted was with Rumble Johnson. Here’s the clip, we sort of started an imaginary war between him and Dan Hardy, despite the fact that Rumble beat him just days before. We also asked Phil Davis how he feels about being called explosive back in the day, and he sort of vented in this video. Taking into account both videos, we found that Phil Davis was easier to deal with in interviews and just an overall cooler guy, so I’m picking Phil Davis to win this.
I’ve said for months now that Glover Teixeira is the man to beat Jon Jones, but now I see Jon Jones, weighing-in with zero ****s given, and I’m thinking that this guy may be unstoppable at 205. Unlike Gus, Glover has that 8 inch reach disadvantage that Jones knows how to use brilliantly, and there’s no way Jones will let Glover move into range, right? Still, all it takes is one punch from Glover, just one. Will he get that one shot in? Maybe. Jon Jones has a pretty decent chin, but Lyoto Machida also said Glover was the guy to beat Bones, and I always take everything Machida says as gospel, so I’m torn.
I’m picking Glover. No, wait. Who am I kidding? I agree with Gary.
Do you think Glover Texeira likes Tex-Mex food? I can almost guarantee Jon Jones does with all the time he spends in New Mexico. New Mexico is renowned for their New Mex-Tex-Mex food which is almost the same as Tex-Mex but with slightly newer ingredients (read: fresher). I personally am a fan of regular Mexican food since I grew up in Los Angeles eating the best Mexican food in the world (note: Mexico has some alright Mexican food as well). I pride myself on my ability to grill up carne asada better than any New Mex-Tex-Mex or even old school Tex-Mex chef can. The secret is to use a little bit of orange juice on the meat while it’s marinading. Feel free to use that trick the next time you’re grilling up some carne asada for your buddies. Jon Jones via TKO.
Since I live in Albuquerque I have a pretty good idea of what Jon Jones deals with on a daily basis when he’s out here, probably could tell you where his house he rents is located in (the general area, not the exact location you goon) and what kind of people he interacts with. I’m not sure how that will help in picking if he wins the fight or not, or if it will come into play. I doubt it will. Glover hits really hard and is making John Hackleman relevant again, which is pretty cool, I guess. That being said, Jon Jones wins this as long as he’s not going 79%.
Honestly, I just want to see the internet implode when Jones wins. There’s nothing more satisfying than a hoarde of angry fans blasting Jones with all types of abuse about his drunk driving; UFC 151; being black ;and whatever. In all seriousness, I think Jones takes this easily. He has more tools. Plus, Glover looked like he had some trouble with Ryan Bader until Bader had a lapse of concentration and found himself on the floor.
We’ve seen Jon Jones’ body literally deteriorate in front of us — from his arm injury against Vitor Belfort at UFC 152, his toe basically coming off against Chael Sonnen at UFC 159, and most recently his eye exploding all over the place when he fought Alexander Gustafsson at UFC 165. So what’s going to happen next — will this be the moment in which Jones’ body can no longer deal with the rigors of MMA? We saw it happen when Anderson Silva fought Chris Weidman the second time at UFC 168. That was rather unexpected, and if something physically freakish happened to Jones at UFC 172, it would also be highly unexpected.
I never thought Sonnen, Gustafsson, Belfort, or Evans could beat Jones — but I think Glover Texeira can, and he will. Remember where you heard it first.