This morning while dropping my kid off at his bus stop, some chick backed into my car while we were parked in a line waiting for the kids to get on the bus. This is the fourth time someone has backed into me while I was stopped or parked. It has happened twice at red lights and once at a stop sign. The first time it happened was way back in high school. The dude driving the car that backed into mine looked at me laughed hysterically and drove away. His response triggered some rage filled spirit of vengeance within me and I decided to find out who he was and pay him a friendly little lunch room visit.
Being that I had no idea who this car smashing laughing hyena of a person was, I had to turn to my police officer Dad for some suspect identity assistance. Most of the time having a cop for a Dad as a teenager is the most horrible thing ever because you can’t get away with much of any delinquent activities. At least I was able to take advantage of the ability to run a license plate number, and find out the name of that driver though.
Once I found out who this guy was, I confronted him in the lunchline while he was filling little condiment bowls with ketchup and italian dressing to go with his cafeteria tray of french fries. He was completely unapologetic when I approached him and even had the nerve to once again laugh in my face. This caused a mini hulk like angry response to rise up and out of me. I didn’t turn green and grow any Cris Cyborg like muscles, but I did manage to tackle this kid to the ground and mush that tray full of ketchup and italian dressing all over his face before getting pulled off of him by a couple of teachers.
For some reason, I often would get either the “oh you are so cute when you are angry” response or get laughed at when I got mad. After that day, though people knew better than to laugh at my feelings. I guess no one else wanted to feel the wrath of lunch tray face mushing or get random condiment stains all over their Rocawear t-shirts. Surely it couldn’t be the cinder block that smashed through the front windshield of that kid’s car on that very same day, because really that wasn’t my doing-it was pure coincidence.
Now that you read that completely pointless and unrelated story, let me tell you that Phil Baroni is out of his BAMMA 6 fight with Matt Ewin due to an undisclosed injury from his last fight and Ivan Salaverry has stepped out of retirement to take his place. Although we are sad that the NYBA won’t be fighting and wish him a speedy recovery, we are stoked to see the Salaverry get back in the cage. He hasn’t fought since he announced his retirement from MMA after his fight with Palhares back in 2008.
Every single time I read Salaverry’s name I can’t help but imagine either visiting a delicious salad bar restaurant or dripping glands of saliva. One thought is tasty, one is kind of gross. Funny how one word and one announcement can cause such simultaneous duplexity of thoughts. Salaverry has a somewhat conflicting thought about the fight as well as he tells MMAWarlike.com:
“I’m coming there to fight and represent all that I stand for, then afterwards, if Matt will do me the honor-I’d like to have a beer or a few of them with him.”
That duality is one of the things that is so great about MMA and the fighters. They go in there wanting to knock the consciousness out of the other guy and then afterwards hang out, laugh and have some beers. You can check out Salaverry and Ewin having some pre-beer fisticuffs at BAMMA 6 on May 21, 2011 at BAMMATV.com [source]