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Barack Obama and Mitt Romney fight in an MMA cage for political supremacy

Barack Obama and Mitt Romney fight in an MMA cage for political supremacy

Four more years of President Barack Obama and marijuana becomes legalized in Washington and Colorado in the same night. The FOX News headquarters may spontaneously explode from sheer frustration at any second now.

Hopefully in 2013, we can collectively agree that any form of media asking a fighter to place them in a rear-naked choke needs to come to an end. Actually, that’s not entirely fair. Let’s make a rule that if you ask a fighter to place you in a rear-naked choke, you can’t tap out. The blood running through your neck will have to come to a complete halt and your unconscious body will need to collapse to the floor in order to realize how much of an idiot you were for asking someone to choke you out. Set an example for the children of the world. In any other moment in human civilization, this stuff would not have passed. Imagine someone at FOX News asking Attila the Hun to place them in a ‘guillotine.’ Necks would be rolling quicker than your friends rolled to Nate Dogg in the late 90s (RIP).

It’s safe to say President Barack Obama has never visited MiddleEasy.com. That statement is based on a complete lack of evidence, however if the leader of the free world is watching installments of Street MMA, then he would be neglecting the vital things in society — like making San Francisco less of a depressing place. Earlier this year, the President was part of an elaborate MMA prank that involved MMA — so watch it and stop thinking for a few minutes.

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