I’ll be real with everyone here when I say that I’ve always had a thing for those chicks that aren’t only hot, but those chicks that are SMOKING HOT and are kind of nerds. I get it, dudes, but there’s gotta be more to a chick than just a banging bod. As a kid I had two loves and those were PORN and GAMES. I play the shit out of Unreal Tournament and watched the shit out of porn when we finally got a cable modem in the house.
I always had a thing for the asian chicks I won’t lie, so it was only natural that I was way into Asia Carrera. Why? Not just for the fucking, but that chick was so chill. She played Unreal Tournament and even made her own skins so you could set up bots to be Asia fucking Carrera! Let me just say now that I would DEFINITELY make bots use her skin with her tits all out and everything and play on god mode. /iamtheone, right?
Now look I’m not hating or anything but that was a long time ago and Asia Carrera and Unreal Tournament aren’t really my thing anymore. But apparently there is hope for me because the UFC’s Arianny Celeste is really into pizza. How much is she into pizza? This my friends is my present to you bros, the perfect woman!
<blockquote class=”instagram-media” data-instgrm-version=”4″ style=” background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% – 2px); width:calc(100% – 2px);”><div style=”padding:8px;”> <div style=” background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:50% 0; text-align:center; width:100%;”> <div style=” background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAAGFBMVEUiIiI9PT0eHh4gIB4hIBkcHBwcHBwcHBydr+JQAAAACHRSTlMABA4YHyQsM5jtaMwAAADfSURBVDjL7ZVBEgMhCAQBAf//42xcNbpAqakcM0ftUmFAAIBE81IqBJdS3lS6zs3bIpB9WED3YYXFPmHRfT8sgyrCP1x8uEUxLMzNWElFOYCV6mHWWwMzdPEKHlhLw7NWJqkHc4uIZphavDzA2JPzUDsBZziNae2S6owH8xPmX8G7zzgKEOPUoYHvGz1TBCxMkd3kwNVbU0gKHkx+iZILf77IofhrY1nYFnB/lQPb79drWOyJVa/DAvg9B/rLB4cC+Nqgdz/TvBbBnr6GBReqn/nRmDgaQEej7WhonozjF+Y2I/fZou/qAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC); display:block; height:44px; margin:0 auto -44px; position:relative; top:-22px; width:44px;”></div></div><p style=” color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;”><a href=”https://instagram.com/p/xsfH1IiX_9/” style=” color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;” target=”_top”>A photo posted by Arianny Celeste (@ariannyceleste)</a> on <time style=” font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;” datetime=”2015-01-11T01:23:52+00:00″>Jan 10, 2015 at 5:23pm PST</time></p></div></blockquote>
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Imagine that at your door? Daaaaaaayummmm! I’d order pizza EVERY NIGHT.
This site has really been pissing me off lately. These new guys just don’t get it. Right now they only have me for like one article a week, but I’m thinking about negotiating for more. The reaction to my last one was classic, so thanks bros! Follow me on Twitter (which I have now) @mmabradthayer!