Today I’m going to teach you guys something shocking about those little pink and blue birth control pills your girlfiriend pops every morning before she begrudgingly has three minutes of sexual relations with you. Its probably going to be way more than you ever wanted to know about the little hormone filled pharmaceuticals. All you know is they are keeping you from driving a mini van and working a second shift at the plastic bottle factory just to pay for the second mortgage like cost of monthly similac and diapers. What you probably don’t know is these little hormones are not only preventing you and your girl from creating your own personal ‘mini-me’s’ but the hormones in these things might also the reason your girl stopped liking your scruffy beard and musty pre-shower man smell.
According to some scientific studies, the hormones in our favorite child support prevention pills could be the cause of women migrating towards a preference for the more hairless, manscaped and feminine faced man over the old battle beard square jawwed manly man. So if you are wondering why your girl keeps buying you nose hair trimmers, gift certificates for wax hair removal and pink t-shirts there’s your potential culprit.
Anderson Silva has been aware of this pheromonal hormonal phenomenon for quite sometime and has whole-heartedly embraced it. According to a recent interview with “F5″ and reported on Yahoo esportes Brasil, Anderson admitted he is a bit feminine but he just does it for the ladies. Here’s the original text in Portuguese:
“Sou meio afeminado. Não falo do timbre de voz (…) O que digo é que todo homem é meio ‘afeminado’, e eu sou mais que os outros”, disse ele, que confessou: “passo creminho Victoria’s Secret, uso perfume e máscara antes de dormir. Meu visual careca não tem nada a ver com as lutas (…) A verdade sobre meus cabelos é que eles caíram nocauteados pelo ‘Alisabel’. Não tem nada de boiolagem nisso. Mulher gosta de homem cheiroso!”
Here’s a loose translation from the UG (which is much better than the results Google Translate comes up with)
“I’m a bit effeminate, and I’m not talking about my voice. What I’m saying is every man is, but I’m more than others. I use face cream from Victoria’s Secret, perfurma and mask before I go to sleep. I don’t shave my head, I lost my hair when I was using a product to straighten curly hair…there’s nothing gay in that at all, women love men that smell good.”
Until women decide to stop putting these hormones in our bodies, this is just something guys are going to have to learn to deal with. Besides, you all know you’ve secretly used your girl’s Victoria Secret lotion before. You have to admit you rather enjoyed the fruity aromatics it added to your private solitary bathroom extracurricular activities. [source]
