And the winners of our Dethrone x MiddleEasy contest to get FREE tickets to UFC 164 are…

After yet another silly MiddleEasy contest with Dethrone we finally have the Grand Prize and Runner-Up winners of our ‘Invent a Bendo Conspiracy Theory Contest!’ After culling through an entire novel worth of concepts and theories, we’ve finally nailed down two that strike us as remarkable. The Grand Prize Winner will receive two floor tickets to UFC 164 compliments of Dethrone and the runner-up will receive a signed Ben Henderson UFC 164 Dethrone walk-out shirt! We didn’t have any social media winners this time around, but be sure to Like Dethrone’s Facebook page and follow them on Twitter @Dethrone!

Grand Prize Winner: TDM

To really get to the bottom of any Illuminati situation, you need to abandon everything you think you know about the Illuminati. I hate to use the cliché phrase “That’s just what they want you to think,” but really, everything the public ‘knows’ about the Illuminati is what the Illuminati makes the public think. The pyramid symbol that people think Bendo’s throwing up? That’s a fake symbol the Illuminati have masterfully engrained in the public’s mind as an Illuminati symbol. It’s romantic, it’s mysterious, it’s fascinating, and that’s why people like it so much. As Joe Rogan would put it, it’s “sexy.” Bendo’s not throwing up any secret sign, he’s just doing a silly hand gesture as a part of his persona as a public figure, an athlete, a celebrity. His wings are cybernetic implants? His reptilian overlords? Et tu, Zeus? You’re spreading the propaganda the Illuminati have implanted themselves. They don’t want anyone that has caught on to them to be taken seriously. That’s why they spread this BS around to discredit anyone who is a ‘conspiracy theorist’ as insane. Of course there are no reptilian overlords. Of course there’s no secret meaning to the pyramid or Bendo’s hang sign. But that doesn’t mean Bendo isn’t an Illuminati agent.

The first step to uncover an Illuminati agent is to find inconsistencies or clearly false statements in his/her speech. Let’s take a closer look at Bendo’s statements. What does he like? What does he talk about? He likes comic books. He talks about them all the time. He likes Marvel more than DC, that’s more than acceptable, to each their own. But here’s something strange…Bendo thinks Marvel has better story lines than DC (Source: Now, I don’t care whether you are a Marvel fan or a DC fan, but there is no dispute as to what publisher has better storylines. DC has brilliant masterpieces such as Watchmen and The Sandman while Marvel is stuck at the top with their characters. He says DC’s characters are “generic”? What’s generic about a breakthrough character like the Dark Knight? How many characters like that does Marvel have? Without getting too deep into nerdy comic book stuff, it’s clear that no sane or rational person without an agenda would make statements like those. So is Bendo insane or does he have an agenda? And if he has an agenda, was it given to him by the Illuminati?

Let’s take another look at something Bendo takes an interest in: Christianity. Bendo is a devout Christian; he lets it be known a lot of people via his post-fight speeches, per-fight interviews, and through his Twitter account on a regular basis. Coincidentally, inconsistencies in points of view are also a clear sign of Illuminati affiliations. I can already see it in your eyes; you think I’m going to point out inconsistencies in Christianity, don’t you? No, it goes deeper than that. It’s fairly well known that Christians can’t be moderate when it comes to anything. It’s an absolute scientific fact. So when Benson Henderson acts like a rational, moderate, reasonable person, it’s clear that something off. (Sources: I mean, he just called an insane religious lady an insane religious lady. How is that possible? Christians aren’t allowed to do that. I’m pretty sure that’s in the Bible somewhere (source yet to come, I can’t seem to find anything, but I’m sure I’m right). He just admitted he doesn’t want to shove his own beliefs down anyone’s throats. That’s a clear violation of the contract with God every Christian signs at their baptism. It’s an inconsistency, and as an inconsistency, it can mean one of two things: Bendo’s insane or Bendo’s an Illuminati agent.

Now nothing I’ve said so far really shows that Bendo is an Illuminati agent more than he is insane. The chances he’s crazy are just as high as the chances he’s on a mission from the Illuminati brass to take over the sport of MMA through becoming the LW champion of the UFC and to spread the message of the Illuminati to all MMA fans. Here’s what pushes it over the edge: Combine his love for comic books and his love of Jesus Christ, his lord and savior, and what do you get? The biggest contradiction of them all! A Christian that loves to read the Devil’s bedtime stories? Impossible! There’s even a passage in the Bible that clearly states that reading books, especially ones with pictures, is a sin (again, I can’t seem to be able to find any source, but I remember reading it somewhere). This is what proves Bendo’s an Illuminati agent! He’s been sent by the Illuminati to infiltrate the sport we know and love and change it forever! They’re just misleading you with his hand gestures and his weird wing tattoos. They’re making it seem absurd that he’s an Illuminati agent when it’s perfectly clear that he is as soon as you take a deeper look.

P.S. I’m staying in Madison, WI right now. It’s pretty close to Milwaukee, but IDK if I can make it to the event. They’re doing some renovation: at my place:,or.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.51156542,d.b2I,pv.xjs.s.en_US.mLQ5XJR8KNk.O&biw=1366&bih=643&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&sa=N&tab=wl and Napoleon promised me he can get me out at night when they begin construction.

Runner-up: knuckleup101.2

The high members of the Illuminati realized that obtaining control over the largest organization of the fastest growing sport was going to be harder than thought. They contacted one of the many powerful sections of their secret organization, the Culinary Union. Together they came up with a plan to cause unrest with the fans as well as the fighters so that they could gain footing on taking over this ever growing power. They easily were able to infiltrate the various sporting commissions to gain control of the judging, but they weren’t done there. In a secret lab (probably located in some unionized hotel basement) they put together the ultimate pawn in their scheme. In this laboratory they took an up and coming young fighter in Benson Henderson who was doing well in the WEC and created what we see today. They removed the inner workings of his lungs and placed them in his hair. They had to disguise the scarring and that’s why the large back piece tattoo (we all know this is frowned upon in the religious community, so this must explain it) It was a successful procedure, thus giving him the ability to avoid being choked unconscious. The modification, along with his athleticism and taekwondo skill allows him to “point” his way to a win and if it’s close, the judges will evoke the right decision….. The constant decision victories will make the bloodthirsty newbie fans restless and cause unrest with management as well, as we see with the previous version……….. a certain Canadian who shall remain unnamed. The lack of finishes will drive PPV numbers down and enable the Illuminati financiers to come in and buy the power they have been seeking and as a constant reminder to the current power running the UFC the Culinary Union requires that Benson constantly have a toothpick in his mouth……… because we all know that you only need a toothpick after you eat and no one except someone who never has to worry about choking would fight with one in their mouth…

Big thanks to everyone that entered the contest! We hope you come back again for another Dethrone x MiddleEasy contest in the near future!

Published on August 30, 2013 at 9:13 am
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