Vinny Magalhaes has secretly been flown to the S.H.I.E.L.D’s battleship headquarters somewhere in the Atlantic ocean for the past several months. When Magalhaes had “bad reception” or was having “family time” and was off twitter he was most likely teaching his new family at the S.H.I.E.L.D some bad ass Brazilian jiu-jitsu moves. Secret agents always speak code.
Magalhaes’ prized BJJ pupil is clearly Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. Phil Coulson. The every-man of the group, agent Coulson once faked his own death just to bring The Avengers closer to together so they could save Earth from a Loki led invasion. In Brazilian jiu-jitsu if you can pull off the little used and relatively unknown move of “faking your own death by brutal stabbing” you pretty much move up to at least brown belt.
In the field if you’re getting attacked by a dude wearing a goofy hairpiece, the S.H.I.E.L.D BJJ protocol is to knee him in the stomach and go for a flying triangle. Look at Magalhaes’ little brown belt hit a triangle, lock it in, and let it go just has he’s about to be powered bombed through the floor like a young Ricardo Arona. Somebody at Metamoris should really book agent Coulson at their next event in a super top secret match versus a shape shifting Skrull mystery opponent.
Thanks to @SteveMcAwesome for the clip!