When I was in Haiti, I picked up a Voodoo doll, but never quite figured out who it resembles in my network of acquaintances. I’m sure that when the time comes, I’ll find a purpose for it besides hanging out on a bookshelf with a Miguel Torres action figure. Not really sure what the protocols or rituals of Voodoo are, but if they can potentially stop Junior Dos Santos from blocking punches en route to losing his UFC heavyweight title, I’m stoked for the possibilities. I’d lie and say that I’m going to use it to curse an evil dictator or something that could help humanity, but I doubt that’s in the true spirit of black magic. I’ve watched enough episodes of True Blood to realize that you’ve just got to look out for yourself and hope everyone around you doesn’t turn into a vampire or werewolf.
Look, we’re not saying that black magic is what made Junior Dos Santos lose this fight, but this guy is. At the time of this screenshot from Steve Kuhar’s Facebook statement, there were 11 ‘likes’ so he’s obviously not alone in his thought process. Brace yourselves for 2013 folks – MMA is about to get supernatural…
Okay real quick can someone tell me what kind of drugs my friend is smoking? Here is what he posted. You be the judge. “JDS will lose to Cain. And the reason is because Frank Mir practices black magic.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: every time Frank Mir loses a fight, something bad happens to his opponents.
Let’s take a look on his cursed victims:
Shane Carwin: Beats Mir, goes on to face Lesnar. Is on the edge of winning the heavyweight championship and being considered the baddest man on the planet, and then loses the fight. Then he goes on and gets demolished by JDS, and has an injury keeping him from fighting for almost a year now. A harsh punishment for the humiliation of his KO of Mir.
Brock Lesnar – Beats Mir, gets completely smashed by Carwin but Mir has something else in mind, let him win the fight, then get completely smashed against Cain! Brilliant work by Mir on this one. Then Brock goes on to face Overeem and get destroyed yet again. Also, a case of diverticulitis shows up from somewhere, I wonder where it could have come from?
Brandon Vera – Beats Mir, goes on to get beat by Sylvia and Werdum, and is never the same again. Mir saps his motivation in fighting, and Vera loses to Keith Jardine, Couture and gets destroyed by JBJ and bongo-played by Thiago Silva. Mir really hexed him to pieces.
Marcio Cruz – Beats Mir then loses to Jeff Monson and gets KTFO by Arlovski.
Ian Freeman – Beats Mir then gets KTFO by Arlovski, gets a split draw with the next name fighter he fights (Vernon White). Then the next name fighter knocks him out as well (Melvin Manhoef).
He even uses it in other fights, such as both of his fights with Big Nog. First fight, staph infection. Second fight, black magic prayers on the ground to get him out of a sticky situation! Also, isn’t it weird that after the first Frank Mir fight, people started called him Zombie Nog?
Also, anyone find it weird how such a traumatic motorcycle accident had no effect on Frank Mir? That’s right, black magic.”