A supposed MMA fighter lit himself on fire in Alaska last night…

Can someone in the comment section please explain to me why anyone who has thrown a punch at a county fair in a makeshift cage is all of a sudden dubbed an MMA fighter? Especially when said ‘MMA fighters’ are doing horrible things to those around them? In the latest example of this phenomenon, supposed MMA fighter Harold Finger III lit himself on fire and almost took a bunch of innocent people with him. Now for some reason all of the local Alaskan news that have picked up the story are calling this guy an MMA fighter. Why?

I’ve done my research, I can’t find any type of MMA record for this dude, and that said, what is the etymology of the surname Finger anyways?

When I pull a Tiananmen Square and make my final stand and use the self immolation card (which I want use all the time at my day job) will I be called a professional video game player because that’s something I talk about all the time publicly? Why can’t this guy just be called a disturbed individual? If he went to the YMCA three times a week to play pickup basketball with the off duty fisherman would he have been called a basketball player? Something tells me no. What did this man do for a living? It wasn’t MMA I promise you. Here is the whole sordid and unprofessional report from KTUU.com:

Out of jail for only a week according to witnesses, Finger, a mixed martial arts fighter, became angry while talking on the phone, and subsequently began punching and kicking a 34-year-old woman in the face and head, while he was wearing gloves with hard plastic knuckles.

The victim and two other females hid in a room, one holding her 6-year-old son. According to police, Finger said he wasn’t going back to jail, and poured Prestone ethyl ether fire-starting fluid over his upper body and a door from, then grabbed the 6-year-old, but the women were able to wrest the child away from him.

Finger then lit himself on fire with a lighter and burst into flames. One of the women used a jacket to put out the flames, but not before Finger suffered severe burns to his upper body, face and head. He was taken to a local hospital.

Police obtained a no-bail warrant for Finger’s arrest on first- and second-degree assault and reckless endangerment, which will be served when they can physically take him into custody.

Let’s break this down: he was wearing gloves with hard plastic knuckles while talking on the phone? He’s obviously a loon. I bet they were those giant Incredible Hulk hands. Then the dude decides to kill himself and those around him in the most horrific way possible? Come on, you are in Alaska, jump in the ocean with a cinderblock tied to your leg like a man. I’ve heard dying in cold water is actually very peaceful. I shake my head at this entire situation and it’s sullying of the good name of the sport we love.


Published on February 1, 2012 at 6:58 pm
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