A Brazilian MMA journalist fought a professional kickboxer, the results were expected…

Just imagine if ice drakes were indigenous to the Los Angeles area. The entire city would be layered with a thin film of feces — and judging by the gastric-anatomy of a drake, that poop would be frozen. An entire metropolitan city covered in the icy waste of flying mythological creatures. Actually, they wouldn’t be so much of a myth if every citizen in Los Angeles was forced to wade in their chilled excrement on their way to Starbucks. Heads up, PETA — if an ice drake gets in my face, I’m killing it and ripping each one of its blue wings off and sending them to my aunt as trophies. In the rare occurrence that ice drakes start flying over the Hollywood Hills, you’ve been warned.

That previous paragraph wasn’t meant to be a segue. Just a stark warning that if I have to murder one of those things, I will. Animal Rights Protection has no jurisdiction over drakes, dragons and ettins. Don’t believe the hype. It’s either you or them.

In the same realm of the unreal, a Brazilian MMA journalist actually believed he could defeat a professional kickboxer with a record of 22-1. Fortunately for future journalists who take their subject matter a bit too serious, there’s video of this fight. Check out what happened to Lucas Lutkus of Brazil’s ImperioMMA after he had a mass delusion and got in the cage with a guy that can so obviously hurt him in a violent manner.

Published on October 27, 2012 at 3:54 am
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