Before he was Anderson Silva’s tactical advisor Steven Segal was more than just a cook. Probably based on a true story, Segal’s role as ex-Navy SEAL Casey Ryback in the 1992 film Under Siege was groundbreaking. Never before had a renegade action hero shown such blatant disregard for the rules all in the name of saving the day like Segal’s Ryback did.
The body count left in the wake of Segal in Under Siege is legendary. There is literally a Tumbler page for any and all subjects out there on the World Wide Web. Thanks to the folks at And the Man Next to You every single character fatally wounded in Under Siege now has a backstory. Under Siege just went from big budget blow’em up to tear jerker.
Complete with time stamps, this shows that somehow, someway there is no killing in Under Siege in the opening 20 minutes of the film. Below is an excerpt on the movie’s first killing from the greatest Under Siege tumbler page ever.
“At least it meant his wife could now say goodbye to him without sounding like she’d just swallowed something hot and scalded her tongue. He hated that sound. Today, as the music stops and the men clap and holler and he sees the band’s singer inexplicably has a gun, his final thought is this: but I was just starting to have a good time.”
Tommy Lee Jones posed as rock band singer because he is the perfect movie villain in Under Siege. Even Jones’ character, ex-CIA operative Bill Strannix, has feelings and if Steven Segal stabs him in the skull he bleeds just like anyone else.
“Ten minutes ago he decided to kill millions with Tomahawk missiles and didn’t feel a thing – until the knife punctured his skull. Now all he can feel is how close the blade is to his itch. So close. The cold tip’s almost grazing it. Just a little deeper. Please.”
Segal taught the director of Under Siege how to direct better and also showed the screen writers how to write better. Navy SEAL turned ship cook Casey Ryback taught us there is still justice in the world, and if there is truly any hard justice in the universe, Sensei Segal will discover this Tumbler page so he can make it even better! Segal is a great copy editor.
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