I never plan to be vegan. It’s not that I don’t agree with the lifestyle — I don’t enjoy animals being killed for food, but they just taste so good. I can’t give up eating bacon, burgers, pulled pork — especially can’t give up filet mignon. I would spit on the ground and drown my first born child in it if it meant that I could have the last filet mignon on the planet. Without meat I wouldn’t be who I am today. Just the thought of going a week without meat leaves me with cold sweats. Actually those might just be meat sweats, but either way it makes me sweat.
Deep within me there’s an urge to eat healthier despite my love of all things meat. I’ve tried everything — sauteing green peas in some olive oil, garlic, butter, kosher salt and pepper.
I want to like healthy food so bad even though I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m going to have a massive heart attack at a young age. There is no guarantee that I will ever eat healthy, in fact I probably never will.
If I even attempt to eat healthy again, it will certainly be because of the Vegan Black Metal Chef.