Raw last night was probably one of the better episodes of Raw that we’ve had for a while, in fact, it was probably better than WWE Battleground in a lot of respects. Those of us that read too much about wrestling rumors on the internet and read every issue of the F4W and WON were anticipating this week’s Raw for one reason and one reason alone; the return of Brock Lesnar. There was also the fact that John Cena wasn’t going to be on the show as a plus. That was a plus.
As always, with anything WWE produces, there was some good, there was some bad and there was some stuff that made us embarrassed to be in front of the television as an adult. It’s always going to be that way, but instead, let’s focus on the good.
Dolph Ziggler Wins a Match
Incredible, you say? Beyond the realm of belief? No, this is reality. Dolph Ziggler has picked up a win on a major television show for WWE against one of their champions. The champion, of course, was Miz with the Intercontinental Championship. You could argue that winning the IC title means you are instantly a jobber, but they’ve been trying to at least make these titles mean something. Part of Dolph Ziggler’s appeal has always been that he’s a great, sympathetic face who bumps like a maniac. Fans still get behind him and there is always a sense that he’s gonna pull it off, then he doesn’t.
He won a match. Crazy.
Speaking of Improbable, Zach Ryder Won a Match
Layla, of course, kind of botched the finish of swatting Fandango’s foot off of the ropes, but who cares? Zach Ryder was brought into this absolutely awful Fandango angle of both his former valets teaming up against him and he was just there for the ride. The only thing could have have made this show better would be Heath Slater picking up a win, instead he got shoved by Flo Rida.
Stephanie McMahon, Still the Top Heel in WWE
Earlier on in the night Stephanie McMahon pit Nikki Bella against four Divas while Brie Bella watched from the crowd. Brie had, of course, famously slapped Stephanie a few weeks ago and quit. She was there as a “fan,” though, which led Stephanie to confront and slap her. Uh oh. Things got interesting after Stephanie was out to applaud the god awful Flo Rida performance and two “detectives” approached her and began reading Stephanie her miranda rights. David Otunga resisted at first, then saw that they had a real claim before Brie appeared and, well, Stephanie was whisked away to a Miami prison.
Things only get more hilarious when Triple H gets involved, yelling about calling “Jerry” (McDevitt, WWE’s longtime attorney) to get her out within five minutes. Many also noted that Stephanie’s cleavage became the parting of the red sea, although I predict it has something to do with some costume tape and how her arms are positioned. Triple H walking around with his arms outstretched and hands wide open with his shit-eating grin on telling the cops they are ruining their careers was a hilarious visual.
Dean Ambrose is the Best Dude
The whole “story” of this Raw was that Triple H was going to announce who would face John Cena at Summerslam. He claimed that everyone had a chance to impress him during Raw, with Cesaro claiming that he was done with Paul Heyman and that he’d do whatever Triple H wanted. Triple H told him to take care of their Dean Ambrose problem while Rollins protested, still not understanding that being a Triple H guy means you can chill until everything goes to hell, then you gotta do something terrible.
Cesaro faced Ambrose and Ambrose just went full, well, Ambrose. This was probably the best match of the night (duh) and it didn’t matter that it ended in a DQ.
Ambrose on the Raw Fallout show was even more funny and awesome. He’s really concerned with Stephanie McMahon, that’s for sure. He wanted to send Sneaky Pete and Fat Tony to help her out. What a swell guy.
Paige is a Heel Now. Rejoice.
Thank god. This probably needed to happen. Also, I miss Renee Young as the interviewer for all segments. Don’t you?
Brock Lesnar is Plan C. All Hail Plan C.
Like I said, we knew that Brock Lesnar was scheduled to appear on Raw last night. We also saw marketing material that pointed towards Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena at Summerslam. We knew this was happening, but it was still awesome. Right before Brock came out Triple H announced Randy Orton as the contender, only for Roman Reigns to run out and cause trouble. This brought out Heyman, who announced that Plan A didn’t work, that Plan B (Seth Rollins) was a great one, but that Dean Ambrose isn’t going to let that happen, so he introduced Plan C; Brock Lesnar.
This is able to wash away those feelings of unease, isn’t it?