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Rampage and Tito’s latest TNA promo was completely weird and awesome at the same time.

We have on our hands what might potentially be the most unique way to promote an MMA fight ever. Seriously. Shortly after Tito Ortiz started his stint in TNA, he was announced as the special surprise match (yes, I am intentionally using professional wrestling nomenclature when referring to MMA) against Rampage at Bellator [insert number or whatever here]. Sure, there was a small contingent of you out there dreading the possibility that TNA and Bellator would cross promote an actual fight between their shared talent, but higher is the top of the sure delight than the bottom of the woe is deep, and a lot of us summoned our best Jesse Pinkman impressions to express our excitement.

So tonight on TNA Impact when Rampage came out to cut a promo, we were giddy with anticipation that Tito Ortiz would somehow be interjected into the proceedings. Our deity, who may or may not exist in some ethereal realm, answered our semi-apathetic, and speculative suggestions. Sure enough, Rampage called Tito to the ring not to provoke but to extend a cordial invitation to join his entourage of former WCW talent adorned in Men’s Warehouse’s finest – The Main Event Mafia. Say whaaa?! Of course this joyous occasion was interrupted by some former WWE talent adorned in the FX Network’s Sons of Anarchy merch store’s best – The Aces and Eights. Cue pro rasslin’ shenanigans, aka a really lame high school shoving match ending with Bully Ray calling Tito Ortiz a “Huntington Beach Bitch!” The material really writes itself, which begs the question – why haven’t they hired Dave Walsh?

Now, while the events would suggest that Tito will aid the Main Event Mafia in their noble quest to banish the Aces and Eights for the good of the mid-tier wrestling land, Ortiz never formally accepted. So either he’s planning some sort of Sting not outright siding with the NWO, the Wolfpack, or the LWO move, or TNA/Bellator are eventually setting up the “You betrayed me in pro wrestling so now we must face each other in hand-to-hand combat” angle.

Maybe? Honestly, between Tito and Rampage I didn’t understand a damn word anyone said.

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