Don’t you think going to the cinema is about as appealing as a 9-3 elbow to the head from Travis Browne? It’s as if it’s set up to be as unappealing as possible. Sticky carpets, overpriced food and drinks, a room full of annoying people… sounds exactly like a nightclub actually. The main thing that puts me off the cinema however, are the films themselves. X-Men are awesome. I was good with two, maybe three movies. That’s a traditional arc. I don’t even know where they are with the current set of movies, I stopped paying attention to be honest. Almost every major movie these days is a reboot, remake, adaptation or sequel (or prequel) and I’m just not down with that any more.
Well, until I read the news that Simon Kinberg will be the franchise engineer and producer for a whole series of movies based on Magic: The Gathering. As a co-worker pointed out, this is an absolutely terrible idea for at least three reasons. Firstly, FOX. Secondly, MTG is a collection of existing fantasy tropes which adds nothing new to Hollywood. It’s hard to see how the admittedly entertaining game mechanisms will translate to the big screen, to the point that there isn’t really much point in even trying. Finally, this will make the cinema an even worse place to go. I have to concur with my neckbearded co-worker.
I’d also add that it has the potential to make game shops overcrowded and thus the last sanctuary of the sweaty teenager will no longer be sacred. The trademark musky odor of overactive sweat glands and underdeveloped sense of hygiene will be replaced with shiny pop-friendly stores who don’t hold game night and don’t even stock RPG rulebooks. On a serious note, I’d wager that every single movie in the franchise will suck, but at least everyone will understand my MTG related comments like “I see Miley Cyrus as more of a strictly blue deck type of person.” [Source]