Massive guffaw to all you ‘birthers‘ out there. President Obama didn’t show you his birth certificate because the guy was too busy killing the most wanted man on the planet. Perhaps whenever he’s done organizing superhuman, secret Navy Seal missions with dogs equipped with titanium teeth, then he’ll back to whatever agenda FOX News has planned for him this month. The fact is, America kicks gargantuan ass. Not only did we invent Gak, but managed to exterminate the Magneto of terrorist supervillians. It’s all over with. America protects the world once again. Feel free to throw a little extra salt on that steak, you deserve it. While you’re at it, check out our list of The Top Ten Ranger Up Videos That Will Make You Happy America Killed Bin Laden, only at MiddleEasy.com.
The Oboe is a double reed woodwind musical instrument in the woodwind family. How could Jorge Rivera dislike something that The Sprightly Companion, an instruction book published by Henry Playford in 1695, describes as “Majestical and Stately, and not much Inferior to the Trumpet.”?! Ridiculous, the Oboe is an important part of the Orchestra experience and it’s here to stay Jorge, you can’t have your way (today).
Belt pack, belly bag, Buffalo pouch, hip sack, waist bag,hip pack, bum bag, banano or moon bag. All names for one of mankind’s greatest inventions. The fanny pack. Did you know fanny packs were actually invented thousands of years ago? If you didn’t know that don’t feel bad. I made it up. You know who won’t lie to you about fanny packs? Tim Kennedy.
Who needs RushFit from Georges St. Pierre when you have the guys from RangerUp combining basic military procedures with low impact cardiovascular exercises? No one, that’s who. Not many exercise videos feature a Tshirt company CEO, working out with an old lady with a sock or possibly defective RangerUp tshirt shoved down their pants, but this one does. (The tag line on the box?) So go find yourself a park, shove a sock (or excess stock from your tshirt company) down your pants and work those gluts. You’re looking a little tubby.
The winners write history, and considering the ‘main event’ of UFC 127 went to a draw we are lucky that Michael Bisping can’t somehow reach into the internet and make this gem of a RangerUp video disappear. When your grandkids look up to you and ask you about the great lead up to the second UFC show in Australia’s history, you will tell them all about these fabled videos that left The Count in a knee throwing saliva spewing rage.
I had a dream a few years ago about owning an underwater breathing cat with milky white eyes. I typically enjoy cats, but this fancy feline kept diving into my fish tank and staying there, trying to bat my fish with his declawed front paws. Finally I had enough, I reached into the fish tank and pulled him out by the scrufff of his neck and set him on my counter. I explained to him that he couldn’t live in my fish tank and torment my fish anymore, I don’t care if he could breathe underwater. As soon as I said this he opened his great white eyes and started yelling ‘NAO NAO NAO’ at me and dove back into the fish tank. I am convinced that dream formed in my brain because I spent the previous evening drinking white wine and watching funny cat videos on Youtube. So sorry Tim, I won’t kill myself, I will live my life enjoying videos such as this, this and this.
Your eyes are privileged to see this information civilian. What you are about to see is for your eyes only. The video below this text will teach you how to horrifically maim and disable another human being. The power of online tutorials are strong, the Korean Zombie watched Eddie Bravo Youtube videos to learn the twister and that gave him a win in the UFC. So be careful with how you apply this delicate information to your life.You have been warned.
Tim has been cooking his entire life. Not literally, he hasn’t been cooking food since he was a zygote or anything, just since he was a young child who was telling people to stay angry. Tim Kennedy even has a reoccurring column on MiddleEasy.com cleverly titled: Cooking with Tim. If Tim couldn’t inflict violence upon another human being he would probably be serving them something delicious to put in their mouth. Watch this RangerUp clip of Tim using some of his favorite kitchen utensils.
This is one of the best RangerUp videos…and worst. Jorge Rivera can’t hold a tune to save his life. There are certain things I desire in life, and of all the professional sports in the world, I want MMA to have the best singers. Is that so wrong? Jorge Rivera takes that dream and smashes it like it was Nate Quarry’s face. It is with a sick sense of pleasure that I present to you this 299 second long video of Jorge Rivera ‘singing’ with the RangerUp crew in tow.
Tim, you know better than to look out the peephole. A rude neighbor could easily see your shadow and blow a hole right through your door and subsequently your chest. If your guests are going to be that rude, maybe peek through the side window, or have a camera system in place. If you’re going to have guests over, you might as well set up some sort of motion sensor/camera system. But If you’re having a buddy come over solo and expected, I guess Tim’s method is fine.
There are so many things I could say about Tim Kennedy playing Fur Elise with dual pistols in hand. First and foremost: it’s no Moonlight Sonata that’s for sure, Fur Elise? More like ninja please. Did you know that in 2003 a European company claimed the rights to the first 9 notes of Beethoven’s Fur Elise? It’s true, and the first 8 notes are kind of grating if listened to over and over again like you can here. Luckily, this is America, and Tim Kennedy will play all the Fur Elise he wants with as many weapons as he desires.
