Scary Future Alert: A male birth control pill is almost here

Scary Future Alert: A male birth control pill is almost here

My cousin’s husband (would that make me his cousin now? I was never good are figuring out who’s who in my family) is a diehard New York Jets fan. I felt bad for him, he hasn’t enjoyed the high of his favorite team winning a Super Bowl. That is, I did feel bad for him until he told me that “they should’ve just given Tim Tebow a shot.” After hearing him say that, I lost all emotional attachment to him. If he thinks it would have been a good idea to start Tim Tebow, then I can’t feel bad for him -- unless he wanted to tank and get a higher draft pick, but that wasn’t the case.

Much like me feeling no remorse for my cousin’s husband, I will also feel no remorse for the people who take the first male birth control pill. As an early adopter for the Xbox 360, having mine break six times, I’ve learned to never be an early adopter of new technology. Sure, I’m probably going to be making a purchase of a PS4 within a few weeks and that might not be the smartest thing to do within its first year. Worst case, I’ll have to send it out to get it fixed. With the male birth control, worse comes to worst, my penis is broken forever. Now, I haven’t done any studies on this, but I assume that most men don’t want to have their penis broken forever as that is one of the most terrifying things that could happen to a man. First Amazon Prime Air and now this!? “The future” is a scary place.

Gary LaPlante

Gary LaPlante cares about a hand full of things, his best friend/his cat Tardy, stage diving and tending to the need of all the pretty ladies that frequent his front door. With Gary’s free time he slam dances, eats a horrible food that would kill any man that had a glass stomach and being a huge nerd. If you’d like to join Gary is going front to back, side to side in the pit or if you’d just like to exchange pictures of cats, please contact him.

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-2 # MewTwo 2013-12-06 00:01
why would this be a "scary future alert"? my fellow man is so dimwitted... aside from the contingent of crazy right - wing fanatics campaigning to regress women's right to choose, females have nearly 100% autonomy over their reproductive rights.

if you get a women pregnant you possess limited say on whether to have a child or not. male birth control is a sure fire way to control your reproductive rights without the liability of having to council the female. this means no more pregnancy scares, being trapped in a relationship because of potential pregnancies, child support, etc. if researched well and proven safe this will be one of the greatest leap in male reproductive rights in the history of mankind. I say make it say and bring it on!
0 # Doorhandle 2013-12-06 09:52
WTF are you bringing politics into this for? Gary's just saying that he' rather wait until trying it.
0 # MewTwo 2013-12-07 06:03
mentioning a political faction and being political are two different things. secondly, I can do what i want, wtf are you going to do about aside from bitch and lick gary's balls? are you his gf? if not stop crying
+5 # SnakeJake 2013-12-06 00:24
Every time I get excited about a scientific breakthrough (not at this one though) I hear the same thing: F**KING MICE! If it hasn't been tested successfully on humans it's not a breakthrough yet!

I have a friend who works in pharmacology and the company he worked for also had a 'breakthrough', until they started human testing and there were some major side-effects they hadn't anticipated. Investors couldn't pull out fast enough and the company went bankrupt in a few months. Of course he had another job within weeks, because there's always another breakthrough (and investors waiting to cash in) around the corner.
+7 # Capt Obvious 2013-12-06 03:44
"Investors couldn't pull out fast enough"

If they had this pill, they'd be OK.
-2 # pokerfacekilla 2013-12-06 05:45
I'd do her...
0 # uhhhh 2013-12-06 05:59
sounds like some sort of fem bot sorcery to try and castrate the alphas from with in......NOT TODAY
0 # Judo Mike 2013-12-06 07:10
Alright! Another reason to not wear rubbers!
+1 # Doorhandle 2013-12-06 09:54
I wonder if STD rates will increase after a legitimate male birth control pill becomes popular. Everyone'll think it's OK not to wrap their dick and stick it into the wrong people.
-1 # loo loo 2013-12-06 10:43
we're on the very eve of our own destruction, friends.
+2 # NoHomo 2013-12-06 10:54
I would use it. Where can I buy 2 sets?
0 # OlyReigns 2013-12-10 12:08
"Honey, I don't know why you aren't getting pregnant, maybe your womb is barren..." *snickers and pops another one*

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