Lyoto vs. Machida…who’s winning?

I have a friend that used to ask me if you clone yourself and then have sex with your clone…would you be homosexual or just masturbating. The only response to that question is ‘None of the above, you’re nuts. Get out of my life’. Ever since Machida yanked the Light Heavyweight belt from Evan’s face last weekend everyone and your mother (and my functional alcoholic neighbor) has been playing matchmaker for Machida. Just check out our poll results and you can see how people have chalked up potential fights for Lyoto (Anderson Silva vs. Machida is winning by the way). But with a guy who’s never lost a single round in his MMA career, who could you really pit the The Dragon against that would be equal to his rawesomeness (I just invented that word and I love it)? 

It’s easy man, call up scientologists around the world and have them serve up a freshly baked and cloned Lyoto Machida to fight Lyoto Machida. Lyoto vs. Machida. But think about it, if both dudes never lost a round or a fight, what would happen if they were locked in the octagon? I would imagine the entire planet will be forced to shift into the 8th dimension out of some retarded time/space Back to the Future paradox. But even thinking about scenarios like this is the stuff that brain tumors are made out of. We already have The Dragon going against The Last Dragon and we’re giving that fight to Bruce LeRoy solely based on The Glow (If you were born in the early 80s, this decision is expected. Look at what the dude did to Sho’Nuf). But realistically Machida vs. Machida, the fight will have to go to…I don’t know man. I’m too afraid of Rampage breaking down my door and addressing me as ‘I WANT MY BELT BACK!‘. 

Published on May 29, 2009 at 4:26 pm
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