In an attempt to fix one computer, I severely screwed up two computers. At the moment, I would benefit greatly from a time machine so I can undo my silly mistakes. If I combine both broken computers together, they will probably transform into one normal computer. That DNA splicing machine from The Fly could do the job. The only problem is computers don't have DNA yet. We have to wait for that nonsense to be invented, which is exactly why I need a time machine to speed up that process.

If I only had Lady Gaga's bodyguard, he could throw my computer down and shatter it into useless pieces. Granted in order for that to occur, my computer would need to be an autonomous being with a strong obsession with Lady Gaga. It would need to have DNA, which brings back the necessity of a time machine. So theoretically, if I owned a time machine I would take my broken computer far enough into the future so that scientists can replace its lifeless body with genetic code, then travel back in time to yesterday so that my now DNA-infused computer can walk up to Lady Gaga only to be shattered by her bodyguard, leaving me in the exact position that I'm already in -- with a broken computer. That's the worst idea ever. I'm writing a screenplay about it today.

Check out this clip of Lady Gaga's bodyguard putting the smackdown on some overly-anxious fan in Romania yesterday.

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+26 # synthsis 2012-08-17 08:36

Wow, overreact much?

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+22 # OneManGOONsquad 2012-08-17 08:38

I've seen worse, on both sides.

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+58 # MixedMonkeyArts 2012-08-17 08:42

The guy probably saw movement out of the corner of his eye, some idiot with an object in his hands charging. He did the right thing.

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+8 # Guest 2012-08-18 12:05

I concur. Exterminate with extreme prejudice is what I say. That ballpoint pen and sheet of paper could've been used with deadly effect against that very important pop singer. I blasted a bank teller in the face yesterday that tried to get me to sign something in exactly the same way. Gotta be safe.

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+15 # Guest 2012-08-17 11:19

How is that an overraction at all? obviously that guy slipped through whatever security is outside and rushed her. he apparantely only wants an autograph but he could have a knife, gun, who knows?

he is hired to keep people like that away, and did it with the perfect amount of force. i don't even think he threw a punch... just took the guy down and made sure lady gaga got on her way.

100% justified.

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+57 # Stullo.de 2012-08-17 08:41

Not even a wrestling takedown.. looked more like something Sensei Seagal taught him.

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+34 # Guest 2012-08-17 08:45

shouldn't be long before Seagal takes credit for it.

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+27 # Guest 2012-08-17 08:43

What exactly was that, a Rock Bottom? Surprised he didn't follow that with a People's Elbow.

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+24 # Guest 2012-08-17 08:45

Disgusting in every way..

- Lady Gaga is a terrible musician and an attention whore
- Some security guards enjoy fucking people up a little too much
- That fat fan is a probable virgin/neckbear d PC gaming geek

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-16 # Sambro 2012-08-17 15:52

STFU! Lady GAGA rules.

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+11 # Guest 2012-08-17 21:35

Lady Gaga is the worst kind of person.......cu nt nuggets.

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-11 # Sambro 2012-08-18 07:58

She even wrote this song for you douchefag:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV1FrqwZyKw[/youtube]

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+10 # bosswell 2012-08-18 06:13

"pc gaming geek"

I alt-tabbed out of Portal 2 to check middleeasy

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-1 # Guest 2012-08-17 08:50

douche bag body guard

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+34 # Guest 2012-08-17 08:51

Lady GaGa can you sign my photo, I'm your biggest fan!! Bam! Pow! Smash!!...

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+22 # Guest 2012-08-17 09:28

As a protective service agent, intercepting would have been fine, the assault was illegal. Don't defend poor practice, he clearly had pen and paper. The Lead PSO should have already known if Gaga was going to be taking autographs or not. If she didn't want an autograph, screening the seeker would be find, then resume catching up to the formation. Poor performance on PSD.

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+3 # Guest 2012-08-17 09:40

If you approach someone aggressively, then expect that. If you are raising your arms, getting so close, and they don't have enough time to identify the objects before they are too close to the celebrity, then I think that's the proper way to react. I mean, everyone expects fans to come charging as crazy, but why is that ok? The fat dude may be innocent, but no one is entitled to approach people as a madman. What if he had some weapon, they should identify it first then act, or act when someone is getting close to the people you are hired to protect? They didn't see that coming, they had no time to react or identify the guy or the objects, I think it was fine, we know now he had a pen, at that moment they just saw a guy running to Gaga like crazy.

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-9 # Guest 2012-08-17 09:40

Looks fake

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+16 # Guest 2012-08-17 09:46

Maybe if she didn't walk around looking like "Lagy Gaga" and just the homely broad that she is she wouldn't have to worry about getting rushed.

I'm not impressed with this performance. The gaurd clearly lingers hunched over until the boner he got from smashing a dweeb diminshes.

F-

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+11 # Fatty_Sam86 2012-08-17 11:47

Ha ha perfect description of her fake persona. You know this chick used to hang out outside of TRL with signs professing her love for Justin Timberlake? She's fake as fuck.

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-10 # Guest 2012-08-17 13:24

Quoting Fatty_Sam86:

Ha ha perfect description of her fake persona. You know this chick used to hang out outside of TRL with signs professing her love for Justin Timberlake? She's fake as fuck.

She's fake because she had a life before fame? You're an idiot.

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+9 # Yoshinegro_Blackiyama 2012-08-17 09:50

that was unnecessary. coulda just held him off didn't have to do that.

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+4 # StGutFree 2012-08-17 10:06

The awkward clapping mad the clip a lot better.

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+9 # KingGhidorah 2012-08-17 10:46

Lady gaga must be a freak in the bedroom... I'm sure of it

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+11 # Guest 2012-08-17 10:48

Bjork would've taken care of him herself

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYyyqIZTvYY

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-1 # Guest 2012-08-18 05:40

Ah Bjork, oh so fuckable in her youth. Unfortunately time is oh so cruel to women.

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0 # ispitzhotfire 2013-02-01 19:29

Damn, You must fuck ugly chicks. I feel sorry for you.

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+4 # Guest 2012-08-17 11:08

You can't just run directly at someone when you are only a few feet away, that shit is startling and it's no wonder he got handled. I'm completely against brutality by security/ cops, but this in not a good example of it. He just took him down, no big deal!

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+3 # Guest 2012-08-17 11:21

seriously. i would expect people in here, of all places, to not be uptight bitches about a small amount of force applied by a bodyguard.

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-1 # Guest 2012-08-17 11:21

As a protective service agent

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+3 # TIMinBALTIMORE 2012-08-17 12:01

Those guys are looking for a reason, same with bouncers at night clubs and bars.

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+4 # Guest 2012-08-17 12:46

It will be sad day if they killed lady Gaga, we would not get to hear her "music" oh what a sad day.

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0 # boloblack 2012-08-17 15:19

I'd have broke that pen and stole his shoes.

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+7 # Guest 2012-08-17 16:58

He deserved that for asking for Lady Gaga's autograph. Lame.

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-2 # Guest 2012-08-17 18:47

DNA code (ie, the instructions on how to make eyes, ears, bones, lungs, a heart, digestive tract, circulatory system, etc.) is more complex than both of Zeus' broken computers together, plus a time machine and every computer program ever written by man combined. It is impossible for it to create itself without a Designer. Thank you for reading this and I love Jesus alot more than lady, I'm sorry, Creepy Gaga.

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-3 # Guest 2012-08-17 19:41

U guys now nothing .

talented guard.
you who have not worked as a guard can not put yourself in the situation.

if you didn't know now u know

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0 # Guest 2012-08-17 20:56

Obviously, some overweight pasty looking dud trying to get an autograph,but the BG job his.

Whenever I see a BG carrying the principal's bags, shopping etc, you know he's shit. A BG's job is to protect his pincipal at any given time. That' why you ditch the shit.

Seemed like an asshole, but it's his job.

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+2 # Guest 2012-08-17 21:49

Why the fuck is Lady Gaga being discussed on an MMA website (A hilarious one at that) That wasn't even a good takedown, it's not like it would have been praised by any MMA Fan, stop giving this attention whore what she wants. http://imgur.com/23FJZ

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+1 # Guest 2012-08-18 00:29

He hit that guy's head into the wall. He fell because of dat.

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0 # Guest 2012-08-19 14:37

Looks staged to me. Who runs up all giddy like that in real life? Teenage girl, maybe. Grown ass man? nah. Staged for publicity.

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+1 # Guest 2012-08-20 07:37

The fact that this chic get this much attention is beyond me. Halloween is once a year, on October 31st. Her attire screams "Hey look at me, over here, yea me". She's talented & actually pretty hot when she dresses like a normal woman. She needs to seriously lose the get-ups.

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