Survival of the fittest” is a term coined by Charles Darwin in his famous theory of evolution.  It was based on his observations of bird species in the Galapagos Islands; specifically, their various beaks were able to crack open nuts of different sizes.  At no time in his studies did Darwin ever think to examine Canadian teenagers fueled by hockey fandom and LaBatt Blue. Nick Ring has never claimed to be an expert in evolution, but he has gone on to do field research on this very subject because Charles Darwin was obviously a slacker. 

A few hours ago, he walked into a Starbucks in Calgary to fuel up for the task.  On his way out, he witnessed a couple getting attacked by approximately a dozen teens trying to steal the woman’s backpack.  Today’s scientific explanation is that the couple probably watches too much television and not enough time practicing BJJ, but as an experiment in alpha-male superiority, the UFC fighter approached the scene in a vehicle, scared the punks away, saving the couple from further injury, then chased the perps until 5-6 of them were caught.  He had this to say to the Calgary Herald:

“I did not like what I saw and I wasn’t going to stand around and watch that happen. It was a crime and it was completely wrong. I’m not going to let anything like that happen if I’ve got anything to say about it. Not a chance.”

“This one girl had another girl by her hair and was kneeing her in the face while her boyfriend was trying to protect the poor girl. It was right out of a movie, they were holding him back and beating him up as well. It was a really horrible thing to see.”

Ring continued to describe the victims’ injuries, which included some severe cuts and profuse bleeding.  Both of them had to be hospitalized after the attack but thanks to the TUF alum, both are now in stable condition.  And with that, his research on ‘survival of the fittest’ is complete.The mere presence of Nick Ring saved the day and he didn’t even have to throw a punch.  Nowhere in Darwin’s theory of evolution will you read about the phenomenon that is ‘Canadian swagger’.  Teens may be capable of all sorts of mischievous things in groups, but often scatter when alpha males like Nick Ring arrive to the scene.  He will continue teaching teenagers how to behave as he makes his way closer to UFC 149 in Calgary and assuming he stays injury free, the remainder of Canadian citizens never has to learn how to fend for themselves. [source]

Comments   

 

+13 # synthsis 2012-06-07 14:46

I know for a fact each and every one of you read those quotes from Ring in his heavily affected lisp........you know how I know? Because I did it too.

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-2 # Guest 2012-06-08 03:27

i didn't because i'm not a homophobe like you and this site.

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+4 # synthsis 2012-06-08 05:16

Quoting andoisking:

i didn't because i'm not a homophobe like you and this site.

Has nothing to do with sexual preference, just like I read JDS quotes in broken Portu-English and read Bisping quotes like a Piker from Snatch.

Get over yourself.

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+2 # Fatty_Sam86 2012-06-08 20:09

Pikies! I fuckin hate pikies!

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+22 # Guest 2012-06-07 14:53

Nick Ring, what you did was faaabulous. I am now a fan.

Ps. Violent Canadians? What is the world coming to?

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+14 # AndersonStyllva 2012-06-07 15:57

you would be pissed off and violent if you lived in Calgary too

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+2 # Master E 2012-06-07 18:49

This is the exact sort of story we need to see supporting MMA

"MMA fighter stops fight without throwing a punch!"

More More! Why don't we see more stories like this?...

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+2 # Guest 2012-06-07 15:18

Bath salts.. it's a hell of a drug.

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+8 # Guest 2012-06-07 15:47

I'm wasn't a fan of him anymore after the riki fukuda fight but after this i might have to reconsider and he didn't need greg jackson to tell him to do it for fans, he just knew so extra points there

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+14 # Sambro 2012-06-07 16:23

Blacks live in Canada?

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-4 # Hi. 2012-06-07 16:28

If you can call that living.

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+4 # Guest 2012-06-08 03:26

omg your trolling is hilarious. please keep doing it, we all love it so much. it's hilarious.

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+2 # Fatty_Sam86 2012-06-07 17:08

Shame. Twelve lil ruffians and not one could get soccer kicked in the face? They all had to run? 12 guys ran from one? Typical.

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+9 # Guest 2012-06-07 17:38

well see it on world star hip hop by tomorrow probably

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+11 # Kalashnikov 2012-06-07 17:49

Well, if it was Overeem 2/3rd of those punks would end up in hospital with various broken bones and concussions.
Also in some weird coincidence he would end up with hand infection.


But seriously, his voice might be annoying, but he has done a great thing. Mad props to Ring.

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+10 # Bauzen 2012-06-07 17:55

You're thinking of Dutch night clubs. These are Canadian bus stops, not to be confused with Turkish brothels or Iranian amusement parks.

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+7 # Kalashnikov 2012-06-07 18:03

Whatever place Overeem is at, it automatically becomes a Dutch night club.

(I will never forget how I heard Swedish House Mafia for the first time at the end of The Reem episode 5 and fell in love with it right away.)

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+3 # cheebs 2012-06-07 23:24

Nick Ring vs Canadian Scallywag ... Make it happen Joe Silva!!

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+2 # Princess Leia-N-pray 2012-06-08 04:37

Who Does he think he is Goran Reljic?

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+1 # Guest 2012-06-08 10:40

Wow. Just read up on that Reljic story. Such an incredible act of bravery.

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