I was on the internet last night and felt a sudden urge to see what the hell happened with Captain Kangroo. Apparently, he wasn't a captain after all -- which makes me believe he wasn't a kangaroo at all. He resides in the same category as Cap n' Crunch. He's not a real captain also. My childhood is filled with lies, and cavities. It's also filled with an innumerable supply of quarters being inserted into the front of Street Fighter 2 arcade machines. I'm not sure if these young kids today realize that back in the day, your Street Fighter 2 skills served as an accurate measurement for how much of a bad ass you were amongst your peers. That was just an existential fact.

Kenny Florian knew this, and that's why he got handy with the joystick of a Street Fighter 2 arcade as often as possible. Ken-Flo also walked out to Wu-Tang Clan on a number of occasions, which automatically makes his musical taste higher than 90% of everyone in the world. If we didn't like Kenny Florian, we wouldn't have photoshopped his head on the body of a hot chick in our old MiddleEasy background. Earlier today, it all came to an end when Kenny Florian officially retired from the sport we all love. We were on location for the historic moment so if you missed the speech, we have it right here for you on MiddleEasy. Enjoy and thanks for all the rawesome times, Ken-Flolicious.

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+31 # I Live On Queer St. With Mir 2012-05-31 21:35

Good for him getting out on his own terms rather then losing eight times in a row via KO.

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+14 # Hi. 2012-05-31 21:44

Im assuming you lost a name bet with SST? If im correct, props for sticking to your end.

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+5 # I Live On Queer St. With Mir 2012-06-01 08:02

Yes sir, I'm a man of my word. I'll keep it till Sunday.

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-24 # FreeLeeMurray 2012-05-31 21:48

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

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+15 # Hi. 2012-05-31 21:58

Man, i wish people like you would actually say disrespectful shit like that to their face on video. MiddleEasy would have a new series on their hands.

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-3 # Fatty_Sam86 2012-06-01 07:31

I don't like Florian... and if I had the opportunity, I'd love to tell him about himself. I never for real liked him, but after that PEDs video featuring Overeem I kinda lost all respect for him.

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0 # Sambro 2012-06-02 08:02

Florian's a cauk sucker. I'm glad we don't have to see his emaciated ass in the cage ever again.

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+4 # Dr. Frasier Crane-kick 2012-05-31 22:10

captain kangaroo was a Marine

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+3 # Guest 2012-06-01 00:28

an enlisted Marine in the USMC reserves. still not a captain though. now im just wondering how old zues is for that show to be a part of his childhood...

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-17 # FreeLeeMurray 2012-05-31 22:25

yeah lets all decide to love kenny florian just cause he's retired now. This is exactly like the Michael Jackson thing, except for nobody gives a shit. Everybody hates him, then he retires and suddenly you're all fucking fans.

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+9 # Hi. 2012-05-31 22:33

Ive always loved kenny bud. Never said otherwise. Just like Wand, Mir, Shogun, and Hughes. Win, lose, draw, retirement, turning into a prick, no matter what, i stick by the guys im fans of. I like the guy, i like his fighting style, and i hate assholes like you. He got in a cage many times and went into combat with another human being, put his well being on the line for entertainment and sport, and i respect him for what he did. Just because you didnt, does NOT mean we are all like you. Sorry to burst your bubble and let you know you arent any kind of archetype for the human race.

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+2 # Guest 2012-06-01 11:21

Phazers on BLAST, Mudafuga!

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+11 # Guest 2012-05-31 22:40

Good to see a fighter leaving when he chooses to.

Too many get stuck in the cycle of not wanting to go out on a loss, then when they do win they think they have still got it and carry on.

Kenny had a great career.

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+18 # Im Your Huckleberry 2012-05-31 22:42

A really good fighter. Too bad I will always remember him for choking in big fights. That and those hellbows.

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+7 # Guest 2012-06-01 00:18

I liked Kenny as a fighter. He was always entertaining and he was pretty damn good. Sadly, he was always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Losing that many title shots probably doesn't feel too good.

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+5 # Guest 2012-06-01 01:57

I'm going to rewatch Florian vs Heurta in his honour.

WHO WANTS TO SEE FIGHTS FINISHED HERE AT 155?

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-20 # Guest 2012-06-01 03:39

kenny florian is a garbage.no one cares about that idiot.fuck him.you will not be missed

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+2 # Guest 2012-06-01 11:16

Look at those thumbs. Just look at them staring you down... hear that?! ... tr..tro....Trol ololololoo Song!

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+1 # Guest 2012-06-01 13:35

thnx god hes gone shit more kenny on tv fuck

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0 # Guest 2012-06-01 16:17

Quoting farscope213:

thnx god hes gone shit more kenny on tv fuck

AGREED!!!!!

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+1 # Guest 2012-06-01 16:16

WHO CARES!!!

3 title shots and always choked

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0 # Deadwin / @Lycanthr0pe 2012-06-02 15:02

much respect to Kenny for being a warrior and competing in MMA for as long as he did. but I'm sure it burns him inside to have fought for a title 3 times and never held one legitimately.

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