Chael Sonnen approaches the English language as if every word stole his grade-school lunch and the only way he can exert revenge is to combine the most whimsical expressions and aim it directly at one person, usually Anderson Silva. Sonnen lays the verbal smackdown like Lindsay Lohan violates parole, flawlessly.
This Chael Sonnen and his unfiltered stream of consciousness. If only there was some quantifiable way to measure the veracity of smack-talk emerging from this guy's mouth. The energy could power a household of five, a fleet of Cheverolet Impalas and the MiddleEasy.com server for an entire year. You can never call Chael Sonnen a liar, even when a person that sounds like him calls into a radio show and does an interview claiming Lance Armstrong gave himself cancer. It's not called lying when NCAA Division I All-American wrestlers from West Linn, Oregon are involved. More along the lines of 'cleverly elaborated stories' that may conflict with a previous story.
That's why it's senseless to try to prank the guy. In reality, Sonnen pranked you before you were born -- you're just not that sophisticated to discover it. We now turn to exhibit #9403 as evidence that shock pens are impervious to Chael Sonnen.