The MiddleEasy Comment Awards II

Hosted by Jason Nawara and Kieran McNairn

Jan 30 |14:55

Last Updated on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:28

The podium sits alone on the stage as the low but excited hum of the award nominees and guests of the 2011 MiddleEasy Comment Awards shuffle into their assigned seats. Tuxedos and gowns made in only the finest silks will be worn this evening, where tears of joy and sadness will be shed gloriously in the name of witty comments.

As usual, Synthsis was the first to arrive. He actually got to the theater before the red carpet was even rolled out and was seen sitting in the third row staring forward for most of the afternoon. Very weird guy.

Backstage the MiddleEasy network was hard at work. Cat and Bauzen were in charge of the lights and sound, which explained the Wu Tang and funky lightshow as all of the anonymous attendees made their way inside. They would never actually shut off Wu Tang for the remainder of the evening...to no one's disapproval. Kieran and Jason were in charge of the sandbags that seem to only be used on a theater stage to catch bad guys at an opportune time in adventure/comedy movies, but nothing was getting done. Rather than do their job a once simple discussion of the physics required to lift the sandbags and open the curtain to the stage led to multidimensional paradox theories. The curtains would not be opened on time because of this. LayzieTheSavage provided the smoke and all the pyrotechnics. Some attendees complained that the smoke smelled funny, but not everyone.

Nobody knew where Zeus was, but like the omniscient being that he is, he was pleased and levitated around the theater as an invisible elemental.

Another year and another Reader Comment Awards is upon us. Let us embrace the strange and wonderful community that MiddleEasy.com has become, for the children and for us. Over three thousand articles were reviewed for these awards, and many common themes were encountered; Religion, humanity, but underlying it all was love. So thank you readers for commenting and making the thankless and horrible job of going through all of those articles for your enjoyment possible.

Lets get to the awards.

Chad Griggs is awesome, and we here at MiddleEasy want to encourage the discussion of the fireman and his Sideburns of Power™. Thus, we are giving away an award for it.

"God bless you Chad Griggs, you marvelous bastard."

- (Maximum Spaniard - 2011-02-22 17:31, "It appears that Bobby Lashley has left Strikeforce and will never return.")

Another strange comment from an anonymous user, and once again religious...I think? This comment underneath an article about King Mo getting his teeth knocked out by Tyrone Spong was just too confusing to not win an award, so we bestow the most confusing comment of the year upon you, Anonymous user.

"The engineer understood him at christian louboutin canada once. He seized Pencroft by the arm, and dragged him to his house. There the sailor developed his project, which was indeed extremely simple. They christian louboutin risked nothing but their lives in its execution. The hurricane was in all its violence, it is true, but so clever and daring christian louboutin sal."

- (Anonymous - 2011-05-18 01:49, "King Mo's teeth were knocked out by Tyrone Spong, but don't worry, he's getting them fixed.")

"daley hits hard, he's got a lot of power, he's knocked a lot of dudes out, and he's a decent technical striker with a couple dangerous combos/strikes, but the same could be said of lawler, zaromskis, gomi, kj noons, and sakurai. they all fell, daley will fall too

he's got a puncher's chance against a guy with a granite chin and better boxing, so unless daley detonated a nuclear bomb directly on the button (which is possible, but not probable), i don't see how anyone can doubt that diaz has this

so, uh, you know, war diaz, 209 motherfucker..."

- (Beefheart - 2011-03-07 19:40, "Paul Daley has opened the smack talk salvo over the 209.")

There are moments where a well placed comment can derail a perfectly good Frate Trane of a comment section. It's funny how these things go...what should turn into a friendly gathering of like minded and passionate MMA fans turns into a cesspool of hatred and vitrol. This is the craziest derailed comment section of the year. Congratulations to everyone who contributed to this horribleness.

"Seal Team Six was in attendance at UFC 130."

This actually comes from an article that was published in 2010, but the comment itself is from 2011. That's right people...anything can happen in the MiddleEasy Reader Comment Awards. Ladies and gentleman, this anonymous fellow has officially educated us all on the history of the fade in a few short sentences, congratulations to you Anonymous, not registered user. We appreciate your fade knowledge.

"Cro Cop should be at 1. and fades aren't a mexican thing, back in 92 I came from Poland and the majority of my friends came from former ussr countries, believe me fades started with dads and uncles coming back from military service and all the kids trying to be like them. I had a fade at the age of 7. I went to Vietnam last year and saw the 2 and 3 year old kids with fades so yea mexicans might have started the whole fade boom in the states but not the world."

- (Anonymous - 2011-01-15 11:35, "The Top Ten Fades in MMA.")

The Graphic interchange Format was made popular by Compuserve in the late 80's/early 90's and without it our lives would be void of short yet hilarious clips depicting actions that must be viewed hundreds of times in low resolution. The gif of the year is from uber commenter Synthsis featuring Anderson Silva kicking Vitor Belfort in the face.

- (synthsis - 2011-02-06 13:21, "Anderson Silva pulls off the front kick to end all front kicks and knocks out Vitor Belfort.")

2011 brought a lot of changes to MiddleEasy.com, one of the most important among them was the addition of Tim Kennedy for his reoccurring column: Cooking With Tim. Tim has taught us a lot about cooking, but very little in the way of his second love: guns. Luckily we have commenter's like Sidecheckkick who will be sure to educate us on firearms for the foreseeable future.

"Hah this is funny the video i mean and the fact that i actually thought about getting a SVL and then to see Rener with one in the header seems like he knows his guns.For those who dont know... its a pretty badass rifle maybe the best today but its custom made by rather small russian manufacturer, who mainly supply russian special forces and sports-shooters, and not very well known outside of russia (or at least what i thought)I guess even gracies have to come up with jitsu for a distance of 2.3 km yet"

- (Sidecheckkick - 2011-06-20 17:38, "Watch this video of Rener Gracie pranking EVERYONE in his academy.")

It's shocking how many history majors frequent MiddleEasy. A lot of different comments were in the running for this award, but ultimately, this verbal beatdown Tobikan Judan gave an anonymous (and mildly crazy) reader was one of the most impressive displays of dominance we've seen ever. You get the award, history teacher of our nations future. Let your pupils go forth and prosper with the knowledge that their sage teacher is a MiddleEasy award winner. Check out this wild comment section that spins out of control on the subject of the origins of the United States.

"Besides, in 1775 there were more people of Swedish, Dutch, German, French, African, and Native ethnicities living in the colonies than actual English. I can go on for days about how this country was formed, and it's more than just English v. Dissidents and the French. So please stop attacking people with your association fallacies. KEEP IT MMA buddy."

- (Tobikan Judan - 2011-02-27 13:40, "Michael Bisping defeats Jorge Rivera, apologizes, gets in Jorge’s face, then apologizes again.")

Who would have thought that a throwaway comment would lead to the best non-MMA related image in a comment in 2011? iamphoenix posted this cutaway image of mitochondria which is not only completely off topic but also beautifully informative. If I was wearing a hat, I’d have doffed it.

- (iamphoenix - 2011-10-02 15:25, "Vitor Belfort reveals the extent of his injury and says he could sell a fight against Chael Sonnen.")

If all you know of irony is what you have heard in Alanis Morissette songs then I’m afraid you only understand coincidence expressed through similes and not irony, sorry. Luckily you don’t need to understand either to appreciate how spot on this commenter’s observation is.

“hahah chaels face looked like a group of people just walked in on him jacking off”

- (Anonymous - 2011-10-02 22:12, "After watching this clip, it's clear that Chael Sonnen doesn't think highly of Travis Browne.")

People love MiddleEasy and we are forever thankful for this, because otherwise we would be sitting at our computers laughing at our own jokes and sharing Grass Fights via e-mail. Not that we don’t do those things anyway but it does soften the blow when we receive comments with so many kisses at the end that we expect them to be followed by the words ‘no homo’ in parentheses. We love you too, anonymous commenter.

“I've been waiting for the mill, But made my day when you said u dont give a fuck bout these cunt's who moan about the ad's thank u middle easy you grew a pair of balls now all you need to do is stop hyping overeem and we can live happy ever after Zeus if your ever in ENGLAND OR THAiLAND GIVE ME A SHOUT ill hook you up even if your a yank your ok wth me dude xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx”

- (Anonymous - 2011-10-02 16:07, "The Sunday Morning Rumor Mill.")

Gardenninja's user name now makes a lot more sense considering he clearly possesses the knowledge required to marinating and cultivating a large crop of marijuana. Ironically this is probably one of the few times you would want to be an anonymous user on the site. The award for marijuana cultivation and street pricing information goes to gardenninja. Congratulations?

"6 plants worth $122,880 hahaha I wish...
The biggest outdoor plant harvest I've seen is a dried trimmed 4 lb per plant and he was getting 8 lb+ that sounds like crazy marijuana math to me.(at 2,300 a pound market rate)"

- (gardeninja - 2011-03-11 09:56, "Matt Lindland comments on his alleged marijuana thievery.")

When someone turns up to a party with so much self-confidence they could punch Satan in the face, there won’t be a cry of “SHIT JUST GOT CHAEL” because it never caught on as a meme, but it should have, so we at MiddleEasy want to commemorate this saying with this award.

"SHIT JUST GOT CHAEL"

- (Anonymous - 2011-10-08 21:52, "My GOD this Chael Sonnen...")

When it comes down to being prophetic, every commenter wants to claim their superiority over the others. It's the most alpha part of internet nerdary. "Dude, I called that with my brother at Buffalo Wild Wings' or some variation of that, is something every MMA can confess to claiming at one point in their lives. Well, we have actual proof...too bad the commenter wasn't registered and now we'll never be able to truly give him props. Oh the ironing. I wonder how many people in these comments will claim to be this anonymous fellow eh?

"This is the fight that will make Couture officially retire."

- (Anonymous - 2011-02-22 17:31, "Randy Couture has verbally agreed to fight Lyoto Machida at UFC 129.")

If hundreds of articles lead us to believe anything, it's that Zeus lives with multiple large and aggressive cockroach nations that are vying for control of his apartment. Luckily we have this anonymous award winning reader who goes out of their way to help Zeus finally conquer his roach problem.

"If you don't have any pets in the house, take a bottle cap and put some peanut butter in it. Lace the peanut butter with your liquid chemical poison of choice, and leave it in a spot where roaches are known to roam. They will come over, thinking its a nice little feast, and then their insides will melt.

Fuck 'em."

- (Anonymous - 2011-03-09 15:00, "M-1 Global denies that a Fedor vs Henderson bout is on the horizon")

You know you visit the site a little too often when you can recall almost verbatim a Hawaiian news broadcast from 1300 articles ago, and that's exactly what aint.that.a.kick.in.the.head and Twinny did. It made me laugh really hard. Thanks for being so nutso about the site guys, here's an award.

"Ever since that fucking auto play I forever will remember KHON2 news with Canoa Leahy, Chad Owens, BJ Penn and Matt Hughs training together before his fight with Fitch."

- (aint.that.a.kick.in.the.head - 2011-07-04 08:52, "According to this Hawaiian news broadcast, Andrei Arlovski will fight in ProElite on August 27th.")

"i'm STILL in shock that Chad Owens re-upped with the Argonauts"

- (Twinny - 2011-07-04 12:31, "According to this Hawaiian news broadcast, Andrei Arlovski will fight in ProElite on August 27th.")

This comment was either posted by the smartest spam bot in the world or was genuinely posted by a Middle Easy reader who is also designing an energy efficient sports car that looks like a rocket on wheels. I am not entirely sure that either option here is preferable but it was unique enough to win this award.

“Jon Jones has good taste in luxury cars.I am developing a completely new niche in high end automobiles-Eco Exotic Sports cars.I am looking for well established daring individuals to collaborate with me and help in the development of this world changing vehicle concept.The full size model can be seen at www.zoleco.ca”

- (Zoltan Bod - 2011-11-24 18:58, "Jon Bones Jones' new ride is pretty damn slick.")

There were plenty of absolutely wrong comments. So very many wrong comments, and for so many different reasons. It came down to the committee having to filter the selection process, so we decided to get really specific. Below are the winners of the most wrong comment of the year about Diaz/Daley and the most correct comment of the year about Diaz/Daley.

"So...Daley (a guy with a piss poor ground game) is expecting Diaz (a BJJ blackbelt) to keep it standing?"

- (Jonesy 2011-02-21 11:02, "Paul Daley says Nick Diaz is phenomenal, but his expiration date is coming up.")

I have no idea what this comment has to do with the article it was posted on but at the same time that is one of the greatest things about Middle Easy. If I knew Nikola Tesla (which I didn’t, but let’s pretend I do) he would be smiling in whatever after-life scenario you believe in because of this comment.

“No one ever gives any fucking credit to Nikola Tesla.”

- (Anonymous - 2011-10-07 00:56, "Shogun Rua thinks Dan Henderson is the favorite at UFC 139 because he defeated Fedor.")

The engineer understood him at christian louboutin canada once. He seized Pencroft by the arm, and dragged him to his house. There the sailor developed his project, which was indeed extremely simple. They christian louboutin risked nothing but their lives in its execution. The hurricane was in all its violence, it is true, but so clever and daring christian louboutin sal

Comments

+15 # Jonesy 2012-01-30 16:18

I guess it's a good thing I quit drinking because dear God I say dumb shit when I'm drunk

The MiddleEasy Comment Awards II

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