Whenever I feel the need to inject caffeine into my body through a fruit flavored drink, I always go with the one that has the face of a guy that single-handedly saved the world from terrorists while rocking a chef outfit. Under Siege 2 was cool because it involved satellites and Native Americans. The only thing I remember from the first movie was that topless chick jumping out of the cake and my friend Cameron stealing my X-Force comic (both of which happened on the same day). When I was a kid, topless chicks meant something. They still do, but they used to too.

We can all assume Lyoto Machida will employ the wizardry of Steven Seagal in his upcoming fight with Jon Jones at UFC 140. According to TATAME, Lyoto was at a birthday party when he immediately accepted the fight against Jon Jones. There's little to no chance that a topless chick emerged from a birthday cake that evening, but we can still imagine that one did

"I was at a birthday party last night and I heard I’d be fighting Jon Jones. I accepted immediately, I couldn’t announce it at the time, though. Ed and Joinha told me to hold the information and it was complicated, I had to stop talking at all (laughs). In the morning I want to give a class and, when I came back, the contract was there for me to sign it. It was a reason for me to be happy, because that’s why we enter these battles for."

It’s hard, he’s is much versatile and knows a lot of techniques, but we play a similar game. He kicks, I kick, he punches and goes to the ground, I can defend myself and take him down too. Stamina and game plan are things that could define this bout’s outcome. Nobody is invincible. We’re training for the best, looking for enlarging our body and mind and that’s what I’m gonna do.

Lyoto Machida still refuses to believe that Jon Jones is invincible. Bones fights like he's forever in Game Genie mode. [Source]

Comments   

 

+7 # WeeMadAndo 2011-10-06 14:53

Who's fighting what now?

I approve of this fight.

Steven Seagal will unleash secret techniques. SECRET TECHNIQUES.

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+3 # Guest 2011-10-06 22:16

Quoting WeeMadAndo:

Who's fighting what now?

I approve of this fight.

Steven Seagal will unleash secret techniques. SECRET TECHNIQUES.

Seagal tried to spy on Bones, didn't work.

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+11 # Guest 2011-10-06 15:09

Machida drinks pee AND eats dook?

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+8 # analXstaphXinfection 2011-10-06 15:14

I seriously can not stop laughing after reading this.

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+1 # Guest 2011-10-07 05:52

Drinking pee is not a good example for children

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+17 # analXstaphXinfection 2011-10-06 15:13

Steven Segal remembers what you said Jones.

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+4 # aint.that.a.kick.in.the.head 2011-10-06 15:25

Machida,

Harness the power of Seagals piss in your birthday cake and unleash secret deadly techniques.

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+3 # aint.that.a.kick.in.the.head 2011-10-06 15:28

My day aint complete till I turn your face into a toilet seat...he wants to pee on you

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+2 # Guest 2011-10-06 15:33

Given Machida's history on such matters, are we sure that's cake he's eating?

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+1 # Guest 2011-10-06 16:10

that's meat...
bife a role

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-2 # Guest 2011-10-06 17:14

That's not meat. Machida is dining on Segal's feces and smile because he likes the taste and knows the Anderson Silva money that has eluded him for so long is within his grasp.

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0 # josephreese 2011-10-06 16:12

What you did there...I see it.

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+4 # Guest 2011-10-06 17:20

you guys are like lil kids. all u have to talk about is pee and poop?.....wow.. ...

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+3 # Guest 2011-10-06 18:25

Let me get this straight, Lyoto accepts a fight with Rashad. Then asks for a fanatical sum of money. Dana tells Lyoto and his camp to fuck off. Then a couple weeks later Dana offers him a title fight god damn son there must be a ton of injuries going on in the thinned out herd of 205.
MMA Math
Shogun KO's Lyoto for Belt.
Jon Jones KO's Shogun for belt.

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+1 # Guest 2011-10-07 05:54

Belt exchange is the new menáge a trois!

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0 # Guest 2011-10-07 11:30

I read the whole article over on tatame. There's one good point I gleaned from it. He's not afraid of Bones' stand up since he spars with Anderson

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+1 # Guest 2011-10-07 16:57

Machida is not deserving of a title shot right now. He is top 5 in the world but still not deserving. He was defeated by the last 2 people Jones beat and his last win was against a 48 Couture (who's biggest win in the past few years was against James Tony).

Having said that, I'm picking Machida to win via some technique that has been around for ages that Steven Seagal will take credit for inventing afterwards.

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