The Top Ten Exhibitions of Denny's Street MMA

Jason Nawara

Jul 25 |12:57

Last Updated on Wed, 07 Nov 2012 23:52

Denny's. The final embodiment of the Wild West in a late night American restaurant chain. The installation of swinging doors, a spittoon and a regulation MMA cage would serve Denny's well. You see, this half a century old family diner has been a kind and hospitable host for not only hungry wayfarers and coffee ordering teens, but a plethora of hard hitting brawls known only as Denny's Street MMA. This phenomenon has existed since Denny's inception. Old men and truckers would sit around campfires and/or put flashlights under their faces and regale children with Denny's Street MMA tales. Now with the advent of baller camera phones the production value for Denny's Street MMA has gone way up and events can be uploaded for all to see within minutes. It's a glorious time for Denny's Street MMA, so before it gets totally popular we present to you the Top Ten Denny's Street MMA matches.

Note by Zeus: Look, we understand that all of these examples do not exemplify the sport of MMA. It's tongue and cheek. Wipe those tears from your eyes. This is all in fun.

Not many strikes are thrown in this Denny's match but the hit percentage is through the roof. Three for three and they are pure power. It looks like the guy in the hat getting decked might be a Judo player, kind of closing the distance not wanting to stand in the pocket with the crazy girl throwing bombs in his face. He looks to wall and stall her until its broken up, given a yellow card and then he goes on to lose via referee stoppage. The girl wins the fight, but it's in New York and you can tell their sanctioning is a mess, they have like four referees and the guy still took unnecessary shots.

What we have here is the Denny's switcharoo. It's not unlike an FEG run event over the last few years. It's kind of exciting when you put it into terms like that, what you see is not always as it seems. Anyone can be a participant in a Denny's fight, and sometimes you can even book a match, promote it and then fight yourself. That is somewhat the case in this event. The bald guy in the white shirt looks like he wants to put on an impromptu show, so he starts promoting himself as the main event until some ring girls get involved and all hell breaks loose. Sometimes this happens in Denny's Street MMA.

All of these coaches standing around and a dude blatantly shoots for a double leg on you like Cole Konrad in a title fight and green polo guy is not looking for the guillotine? The guillotine is there my man. Rewatch the video. Is that not the most incredibly slow takedown in the history of Denny's Street MMA? The guillotine...it's there. Also, this is another example of the ever present Denny's switcharoo. Take notes and never forget to go over your sprawling technique. You never know when you might use it.

This Denny's Street MMA match makes the list purely due to the uploader's video description.I have copy/pasted it here for you:

"Two black guys got in a fight and all hell broke loose. Then two guys started stealing food and making fun of me. To hear all the beautiful chaos, I suggest you put your headphones on and turn your speakers up. The video's not that great because I had to conceal my camera to keep it safe."

There is no fight to be seen, but if you close your eyes and put on some good headphones it's a pretty fun visualization tool. Enjoy an entirely different Denny's Street MMA experience with number seven.

Only in Denny's Street MMA will you have flyweights talking smack to heavyweights. There are no weight classes in Denny's Street MMA, so people need to know that a match can be sanctioned at anytime. You have to keep on your toes while you eat your sunny side up eggs at 2 in the morning. This is why you see so many people stretching and shadowboxing in the parking lot before they head inside the restaurant. They are working to build up a good sweat and attempting to prevent simple injuries. Always stretch before entering a Denny's.

Yet another Denny's match switcharoo. Everyone thinks Red is gonna get involved, there is even a slight hand battle going on, then the girl on the stool comes out of no where to start an epic grappling match with White Coat. Yes, there are hints of Sambo...If Sambo involved nothing but hair pulling and screaming, but they are there. Apron wearing referees get involved and then the girl in the white jacket seems to make up with her one time mortal enemy in the fat girl donned in red. She then takes a seat, which is very smart. It is exhausting to stand.

In this day and age, makeshift production crews are always available for Denny's Street MMA. Sometimes, fans surround the production crew, sometimes the production crew are fans. Heck, sometimes the fighters are the production crew. I think what we have here is a combination of just about everything you could imagine, including a hasty and hilarious exit from an overjoyed cameraman.

Legend has it this epic brawl was over a syrup, or lack thereof. When I showed this video to my life mate, I explained to her that if we ever had to go to a late night diner and a Denny's match got suddenly sanctioned with me involved, to not ever cover my eyes and hold me back when I'm getting a Chute Box style flurry thrown at my head. Beyond that this is a typical reaction to people needing syrup for their pancakes, french toast or waffles. Hopefully all three in some sort of beautifully twisted sandwich.

It's also important to remember that anything goes as far as fight wear in Denny's Street MMA. This match is a shining example of a unique singlet that would make a kickboxing TWAS proud. Wear whatever makes you comfortable, that's what I say, even if it isn't flattering. And my God, look at that crowd! I think the weird dress girl was just so pumped up by the crowd she probably would have taken on anyone that even looked at her cross. Crazy fight. She is registering no pain from those chair shots.

I know it isn't realistic, but this video would be so much funnier if we somehow found out that this didn't take place during a Halloween celebration. Only pure chance brought these costumed posse's together to dine at the same Denny's. It's like two positive ends of a battery; there is no possible way two costumed groups of people could ever, ever meet in a Denny's and not completely destroy the place. If it is possible send me proof and I will watch it and email you back. Until then, this is definitive evidence that my theory is 100% correct.

Comments

+15 # synthsis 2011-07-25 14:00

Sadly the Denny's near my house closed up shop 6 months ago. I need to cross state lines in hopes of seeing a brawl over a stack of hotcakes or a Grand Slam with a side of Bacon.

The Top Ten Exhibitions of Denny's Street MMA

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