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  • Written by MiddleEasy @MiddleEasy

Vitor Belfort says watching porn on the internet is a sin

Sorry Vitor, but I have implanted parts of my soul into various online porn videos, almost all of them involving Sasha Grey. The medical term for this is called a 'horcrux'. I have used dark magic to tear apart my soul so I can live forever and finally take over a school of children and tweens, the only way to get rid of me is to destroy each and every one. OK maybe not that last part about the school. That is for the dark master Lord Voldemort to take care of, but I think you get the concept of horcruxes and dark magic now. So technically porn is my life Vitor.

If there were an eighth Harry Potter book, Vitor Belfort would probably be the special guest defense against the dark arts teacher. His patronus charm would be himself in Vale Tudo shorts throwing a flurry of bombs at any Dementors or bad guys headed his way...it would be awesome. Vitor is a pure soul, and in this latest video of him talking about his upcoming fight against Yoshihiro Akiyama he discusses how you keep that soul pure by avoiding all the porn that you and your family might see. I'm going to go tear apart my soul a little more now since I told you were my horcuxes were. Be back later.

[source]


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