Earlier this month I moved next to an elementary school, so over the loudspeaker they blast in the courtyard I want to give a hearty round of applause to Mr. McKnickel's class for having perfect attendance. I hope those kids have fun with their complimentary ice cream and pizza party later this afternoon, but hopefully they'll realize that eating that crap food will only lead to a life of heart disease and obesity. Perhaps it's Mr. McKnickel's job to stand up for what is right and demand his kids have a better diet provided by the California School Board. Egh, in reality Mr. McKnickel is probably going to pick up his bonus check and blow it on $5 Monday martinis. The life of an educator.
There's a strong chance that you may be half-awake on this Monday morning, but we can assure you that after your watch this fan-made Mark Hunt vs. Junior dos Santos promo created by Machinemen, you'll have an overabundance of energy that will make you endlessly fidgety.