Here's a little insider information about Pat Curran that most of you are unaware of. He has a role on the new season of Boardwalk Empire as an assistant to Chalky White, played by Michael K. Williams. Remember that time I told you Pat Curran was going to appear on Boardwalk Empire? Yeah, all made up. I was going to take it really far but then I felt obligated to stop tampering with your sense of perception. April Fool's is over. You guys don't deserve anymore unsolicited mental lobotomies on behalf of MiddleEasy. We're here to tell you that you should tune into Bellator 95 to see Pat Curran defend his featherweight strap against Russia's Shahbulat Shamhalaev.
Since Shahbulat Shamhalaev has been in Bellator, he's never not finished a fight with a knockout. You know it's a special fight night when double negatives are inappropriately used. It's just an ode to how letters are inappropriately used in the spelling of 'Shahbulat Shamhalaev.' You could cut out half that name and still get the point across. That thing is just obscene.
Rick Hawn and Karo Parisyan also goes down at Bellator 95 in a battle of 'judon't know judo like I know judo.' Also look out for Brett Cooper as he takes on Doug Marshall in the middleweight tournament finals and Frodo vs. Miek Richman for the featherweight tournament final. Tonight, Spike TV -- you guys already know the drill.