Her name is Christmas Abbott and as of last week she's NASCAR first female pit crew member. She also served for years as a civil contractor in Baghdad -- and she's an absolute beast in the gym. Don't expect her to follow her father's footsteps, however. She won't grow a gnarly grey beard and write one of the greatest works of fiction mankind has ever seen. Hopefully we'll see Christmas Abbott in the corner of her pop's return to MMA on April 13th in King of the Cage against none other than Warpath.

That's his name, Warpath. No one knows his real name because he sold his soul to Satan. Warpath rocks a one-piece when he fights, along with hefty dose of eye makeup to show that he's related to Nightwolf from Mortal Kombat 3. Although Warpath has gone 1-8 in his previous nine fights, he did scoop up a first-round knock out against Don Frye back in 2011, which has to count for something.

Warpath vs. Tank Abbott goes down at the Gold Country Casino on April 13th in Oroville, CA -- which probably means we're going to pack up the MiddleEasy Mobile and make a road trip to the middle of nowhere to watch these two titans clash. Check out the epic fight poster below.

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+5 # Buckley 2013-02-26 00:23

Tank is closing in on 50, hasn't fought in over 4 years, and has never seen the 2nd round of a fight under unified rules (or any rules for that matter). I guess that's a good ticket seller, no matter what there's about a 95% chance this spectacle doesn't last more than 4 minutes.

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+1 # Tong Po 2013-02-26 10:59

Tank needs to apply for a TUE

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+8 # Sambro 2013-02-26 16:34

She looks hotter in B&W:

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0 # Asshole 2013-02-26 18:02

Doesnt need it
WARBEARD>roids

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+11 # Fatty_Sam86 2013-02-26 00:49

Bas Rutten would kick both their asses. At the same time.

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0 # RobDubyaDiaz 2013-02-26 02:33

dude..that only 2 hours out from me, this may have to happen!

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0 # MEOW2 2013-02-26 04:06

this is going to be a BANGER. war abbott

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+3 # Southmade 2013-02-26 05:53

"He sold his sold to Satan"??? Really ME....your mothers would be so ashamed of you.

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+1 # Zeus 2013-02-26 08:05

Quoting Southmade:

"He sold his sold to Satan"??? Really ME....your mothers would be so ashamed of you.

Quoting Southmade:

"He sold his sold to Satan"??? Really ME....your mothers would be so ashamed of you.

:(

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+1 # bosswell 2013-02-26 20:47

Warpath's name is Ruben. I have his phone number.

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+6 # Groo 2013-02-26 06:41

Mr Dan Molina Mr Dan Dan Molina
Mr Dan Molina mr Dan Dan Molina
Mr Dan Molina mr Dan Dan Molina

Mr Dan Dan Molina!

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+1 # sergio 2013-02-26 17:48

now i've got del stuck in my head.

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0 # Groo 2013-02-27 04:10

He's a funky Deltron=)

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+14 # crab stick 2013-02-26 06:43

Damn this poster looks like one of those action movies from the $3 bin at Wal Mart.

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+8 # boo 2013-02-26 07:34

How is Tank going to keep his toupee on during the fight?

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+16 # ipunchvagina 2013-02-26 07:42

what i'm wondering is why the fuck no one is trying to save that bear stuck in the dreamcatcher in the bottom left?

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+3 # CameronG 2013-02-26 08:09

We all know that Christmas isn't actually Tank's daughter, right?

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-2 # Yeah Right! 2013-02-26 12:47

No, no we don't. I was wondering how his goofy ass could create someone so hot

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0 # nergo 2013-02-26 10:28

TANK!

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0 # fuckjandersonsilve 2013-02-26 13:59

NO! But they're friends!

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+6 # Towelie 2013-02-26 15:36

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0 # Sambro 2013-02-27 19:10

She like the slutty version of Nicole Kidman.

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-1 # fake2pacsfather 2013-02-26 15:59

lol thats not his daughter

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+1 # Irene Schiavello 2013-02-26 17:40

I would sleigh Christmas Abbott.

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0 # Michael Schiavello 2013-02-27 04:16

Honey i promise! There were no hookers at that pirate convention!plea se come back home ,we can patch things up!

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0 # ispitzhotfire 2013-02-27 07:35

Dan Molina is like a brother to me. I am happy to see his face on Middle Easy even if those tubby old guys are in front of him.

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