If you had to sum up Glover Teixeira’s performance in just a paragraph, you’d need to reach deep into the Urban Dictionary and none of the slang I’d use would make any sense. One line after the next would be utterly meaningless. Then again, so is the diction we utilize on a daily basis. There isn’t enough Adderall in the northern hemisphere to make us write coherent articles.

All I’m going to say is that the fight was everything I hoped it would be, and ultimately Glover Teixeira did exactly what you knew he could with his fists to set up a unanimous decision over Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson. Unfortunately, Rampage has said that this will be his last appearance in the octagon, but if we’re lucky, we might get to see him fight Kimbo Slice and a whole bunch of other heavy handed brawlers in the boxing ranks. One way or the other, it’s not goodbye forever, just “see you when I see you.”

All we know for sure is that somewhere in Chicago, Chuck Liddell is buying Glover Teixeira the adult beverage of his choice, and that's the best imaginary afterparty in the murder capital of America right now. In the meantime, let’s toast our very own homemade Acai martinis and bask in Glover Teixeira’s victory like we're right there with them. It’s clear a new star at 205lbs is hunting for Jon Jones’ title, he's doing it with reckless abandon, and that's something worth celebrating.

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+26 # Poop 2013-01-26 20:18

Rampage is a LEGEND. enough of the fairweather fan shit.

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-13 # Chip Chipperson 2013-01-26 20:55

Atari Rampage?

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+8 # Whaaa-mpage 2013-01-26 20:27

He was a legend before he took off on the QQ parade. Blaming everyone buy himself is a bitch move.

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+19 # Sherko 2013-01-27 00:48

I had to google "QQ". Had no idea what it meant.
But now I understand you're a WoW fagg0t.

Obviously professional mma fighters aren't as tough as WoW warriors but I still think you're an incredibly huge fagg0t.

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+7 # Fatty_Sam86 2013-01-27 01:14

Bro, these WoW Warriors are staight Haxors, man. They'll get your IP, bro! They are epic legendary Haxors!

AKA I agree with you.

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+1 # guy who lols 2013-01-27 10:19

LOL

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-14 # Gorilla Warfare 2013-01-27 10:40

Quoting Sherko:

I had to google "QQ". Had no idea what it meant.
But now I understand you're a WoW fagg0t.

Obviously professional mma fighters aren't as tough as WoW warriors but I still think you're an incredibly huge fagg0t.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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+7 # James Bond 2013-01-27 12:12

Gorilla Warfare haha...

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0 # Fatty_Sam86 2013-01-27 16:26

Lol you're "a SEAL" but you need to get your... uh "arsenal"... from the USMC? Yeah bro, you're hard. Prolly some fat fuck sitting there wearing camouflage drinking cheese wiz.

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-1 # Sherko 2013-01-28 06:16

LETS BANG BRO!!!

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-1 # TheKaveman 2013-01-28 21:42

I don't know who you are- I don't know what you want. If it's money your after, I can tell you that I do not have anyway. But what I do have...are a particular set of skills. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you - I will not pursue you. But if you don't let her go, I will look for you. I will find you...

And I will kill you...

o_o;;;...

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+19 # gucci 2013-01-26 21:09

he did okay but to call him a rampage killer? he barley won that cardio is bad.

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+20 # SnakeJake 2013-01-27 05:26

I won barley once. I used it to brew some delicious beer.

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-2 # Grammer Police 2013-01-27 23:34

He misspelled * barely

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-1 # Candid Cat 2013-01-28 02:14

Barely won? Glover dominated every round, rocked him multiple times, blocked or avoided pretty much every single shot that Rampage through, and took Rampage down several times with ease. Honestly I don't think anyone has owned Rampage that bad in the UFC other than Jones.

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+4 # DonMatus 2013-01-27 00:25

Rampage looked bad tonight. Wheres the pride page? No wrestling no slams nothing but stand and trade. QQ 15 million in 5 years plus unknown sponsor income. I'm sure Bellator will take him and pay him well. Last Bellator show was great,with Reebok sure he's doing well without ufc.

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+6 # Bauzen 2013-01-27 08:48

Quoting DonMatus:

Rampage looked bad tonight. Wheres the pride page?

Even the best of them get old. Rampage will always have his past, but it's all uphill from here with younger hungrier guys.

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+20 # KevZeeBest 2013-01-27 04:47

I'm not completely sold on Teixeira just yet, Yes he beat rampage and looked decent. But is that because Teixeira is such a bad dude. Or is it because rampage had no intention on giving it all he has? He is on the way out (as it stands now) And for the last 3 fights looked "bored" about everything that involves with fighting, Maybe after all these years, He just lost the hunger to fight anymore. He has cars, A big house, featured in a hollywood movie. Has a big bank account etc etc There is nothing to win anymore, And when there is no challenge. Whats there to do? You would think he would fight for his own pride and glory. But maybe just maybe...He just doesnt give a fuck anymore

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-10 # Filet Mignon 2013-01-27 05:17

Quoting KevZeeBest:

I'm not completely sold on Teixeira just yet, Yes he beat rampage and looked decent. But is that because Teixeira is such a bad dude. Or is it because rampage had no intention on giving it all he has? He is on the way out (as it stands now) And for the last 3 fights looked "bored" about everything that involves with fighting, Maybe after all these years, He just lost the hunger to fight anymore. He has cars, A big house, featured in a hollywood movie. Has a big bank account etc etc There is nothing to win anymore, And when there is no challenge. Whats there to do? You would think he would fight for his own pride and glory. But maybe just maybe...He just doesnt give a fuck anymore

Hey here's a thought... someway, somehow, he should take into consideration that he still has sponsors and people pay to SEE HIM FIGHT. He should be thankful for all the opportunity he's been given, instead of acting like a fucking child and complaining about no one caring about him. Grown ass man talking about someone not caring about him...DAMN SHAME.
Lord knows that lifestyle he lives ain't cheap... plus he got like 6 kids or something... instead of being bitter about shit, think about what is on the table and AT LEAST, give your fans, you know, the ones that have paid money to keep you living that lavish lifestyle, a good fight where he actually shows up to fight. Or he could call Bob Sapp and start a circus attraction.

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+7 # jt33 2013-01-27 10:23

still no love for rampage? he didnt win but he was still swinging hard and trying to win until the end..he actually got up when he was taken down this time. haters gonna hate i guess but i though it was a really good fight..rampage looked ok but glover looked better.

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0 # Fatty_Sam86 2013-01-27 16:31

Yeah I thought it was a good old school brawl. Just two dudes bangin', bro.

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+9 # jojo 2013-01-27 10:54

EVERYONE THAT TALKS SHIT ON RAMPAGE IS AN UNGRATEFULL PIECE OF SHIT!!!

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-10 # Sambro 2013-01-27 11:14

Whampage is a bitch. So glad he's leaving to make video games.

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+1 # I Kill you 2013-01-27 22:06

coming from a keyboard coward like you it really holds no weight But that's what I expect from a bitch names SST

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-1 # Cats Panties 2013-01-27 23:38

Kid loves his dragon balls Z

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0 # Sambro 2013-01-30 20:57

Quoting I Kill you:

coming from a keyboard coward like you it really holds no weight But that's what I expect from a bitch names SST

Your Mom is Queen of the whores and Rampage fucks her up the ass.

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+1 # BENTSHAFT 2013-01-28 00:55

Neither guy looked very impressive. Rampage has far passed his legendary status. He can't keep up with the new breed of fighters coming up. His game plan is the same everytime and everyone knows it.

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0 # TheKaveman 2013-01-28 21:28

Seriously? Seventeen likes for someone saying that Glover barely won? Ya'll gotta be swinging Tarzan style from 'Page's nut if you think that fight was anywhere near close. Page got tooled in every respect, and even conceded that "he got his ass beat" by Glover. Quit downplaying Glover's performance and appreciate that we have a new, exciting LHW prospect to watch out for. I've rooted for 'Page many a time, man, but as someone stated above - ain't no one kicked his ass that bad in the UFC since Jones. Glover wasn't as impressive as expected, but - aside from prime Wandy - when has anyone ever beat 'Page at his own game like that? I mean, Glover broke Page's confidence. For real. Watch the post-fight interviews. He didn't even offer any excuses for why he lost other than "Glover was the better fighter".

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