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Nick Diaz. Anderson Silva. January 31st. Nuff Said.

Do I even have to explain this to you?

Anderson Silva will return on January 31st at what we are assuming is UFC 183 to face an also-returning Nick Diaz in what should be the Superfight to end all Superfights. This is why the word “Superfight” even exists, for those rare instances where you get what you want.

We get what we want this time.

Anderson Silva vs. Nick Diaz.

This is happening. This is real life. 

A Master Lesson in Trolling From Jonathan Dwight Jones

It seems like time we all take a lesson in internet trolling by UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones. Jon Jones is a troll. That much we all should agree upon, right? From Direct Messages on Twitter to his public messages and Instagram comments Jon Jones has proven himself adept at the art of trolling the world and his opponents. Sure, sometimes he goes too far and has to claim that his phone was stolen or hacked, but I believe that we’ve all had such lapses in judgement, have we not?

Let us now examine the latest piece by Jonathan Dwight Jones where he sees an illustration on Instagram of Alexander Gustafsson, a Swedish flag and the UFC Light Heavyweight Championship and how he responds.


Note the clear lack of punctuation, also the restraint. Could he have gone into further detail? Of course. Did he? No, instead, he opted for a few quick words. Those words undoubtedly cut like fire through ice on the recently-injured Gustafsson who must now sit back and be cuckolded by Daniel Cormier. [Source: The Power Double on the UG]

Joe Rogan vs. Ed O'Neill: The Hyperreal Fight That Never Was

Ed O’Neill doesn’t do Twitter.  He doesn’t enjoy taking photos with adult fans.  Even his Facebook profile was “automatically generated based on what Facebook users are interested in.” Perhaps O’Neill himself was automatically generated by the Universe, based upon what guys who watch television at 2 a.m. are interested in.  The only evidence I’ve found that he uses a computer at all is his admission that he checked Google while preparing for a speech at Youngstown State University last year.

So that guy consenting to a match against Joe Rogan at Metamoris the other day wasn’t Ed.

“Ed doesn’t have a twitter account,” Rogan said on the Underground Forum.  “It’s fake.  Ralek tweeted that it’s fake yesterday.”

Oh what a simultaneous letdown and relief.  The Pride-style freak show must not go on, even though we probably wouldn’t mind if it did.

But Ed is sixty-eight years old, Joe’s elder by over twenty years.  And unlike Rogan, he’s not exactly sculpting a physiological shrine these days.  Even though Joe “[hasn’t] rolled in many months” because of a back injury that is “much improved,” the match would not be competitive.  It just wouldn’t.  No matter how much we want it to be in a comic book crossover sense.

If this brief hoax has had any value, it at least has us talking about Al Bundy and Jiu-Jitsu.  So as the Gracies are fond of saying, let’s turn some lemons into an alcohol-free lemon, broccoli, avocado and acai berry smoothie.

True to his television role, O’Neill really did play football in his twenties.  He was even a linebacking 15th-round draft pick for the Pittsburgh Steelers in 1969, until he was cut during training camp.  Three years later, he delivered a single line as a police officer in the movie Deliverance.  To his credit, he didn’t tell anyone to squeal like a pig.  He landed the Married With Children role in 1987.

Over two decades ago, O’Neill began studying Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu with Rorion Gracie.  John Milius, author of the screenplays for the movies Conan the Barbarian and Apocalypse Now, introduced the men.  O’Neill received his black belt in 2007.  And in the documentary I am Bruce Lee, he called it the “greatest achievement of my life, apart from my children.”

O’Neill described his first day at the Gracie Academy in this video.  

As is customary in Jiu-Jitsu introductions, he makes an implied reference to perceived homosexuality, the great initial hallmark of the sport. “[They are] rolling around on top of each other.  The place is very clean.  I’m thinking, it’s very clean, nice.  So now I’m thinking I’ve got to get out of here.”  But Rorion challenged the 230-pound O’Neill to hold him in mount.  And when he couldn’t, he enrolled.  16 years later, he earned his black belt.

“I didn’t expect to get it.”

“But I said,” he smiled.  “Sixteen years.  This must come naturally to me.”

Now, Rorion calls Ed, “As tough as they come.”

“In real life, he’s a major headache.”

Still, O’Neill appears to be a man of fewer words.  In fact, when he received his black belt from Rorion, he was “speechless.” He took his belt and left the stage.

And that speech to Youngstown State University in 2013 was the first he had ever given.  “I sat down to write the speech,” he said.  “I had never written a speech before.”

“I got cut by the Pittsburgh Steelers the day Neil Armstrong walked on the moon,” he said.  “Good day for him.  Not too good for me.  So for the next several years, I was a bit lost.”

He tried selling used cars, selling steel, and then he started drinking too much.  But after he became interested in acting, he quit a job as a “horseshit manager” for a bar, and relocated.  It was a difficult experience.  He remembered being surprised by his own groans while he was walking down a cold street.

“I didn’t want the city to beat me.”

He finally secured a role as an understudy on Broadway.  The man he was backing up was fired two weeks into rehearsal.  “So I go from a busboy, $40 a shift, I’m co-starring in a Broadway play. Don’t ask me how that happens, but that’s how that happens.”

When he read the script for Married With Children, he didn’t think it would work.  “Who wants to see a show about a family as screwed up as yours and mine?”

“Now I’m in my 60s . . . my that went quickly . . . and I’m playing Jay Pritchett on Modern Family . . . When they told me that Sofia Vergara was going to play my wife, I said, ‘Well that makes perfect sense.’”

In retrospect, all the groans he was making on the cold streets of Ohio sound different now.  “I think now of those little sighs as happy moans . . . because I was trying, and it wasn’t easy, but I didn’t quit.”

“I suppose if there is any lesson to be learned from all this . . . just never give up on yourself.  Find a way or go down swinging.”

It seems certain now that O’Neill won’t be doing that in a literal sense against Rogan at Metamoris.  But that’s no knock on him.  He’s an accomplished and, apparently, contented man.   And as he says at the close of his speech to the graduates of Youngstown State, he's too smart for that.  

“Never bring a knife to a gun fight.”

 

Joe Riggs Shoots Himself in the Leg Cleaning His Gun

Hey Joe. Where you goin’ with that gun in your hand?

Gun safety is an issue that everyone who owns a gun should not only know, but know well. It almost seems like a no-brainer to most of us that when handling a gun or storing it in your home that you don’t keep it loaded. I’m not saying this to be a dick or anything, just that this story illustrates why you need to do that, because you can possibly mess things up for yourself.

Joe Riggs is a guy who has messed things up for himself by not checking to see if his gun was loaded. He’s gonna be alright, but this still has to be pretty embarrassing to have the UFC release a statement that you shot yourself whilst cleaning your gun at home, forgetting to check to see if it was loaded. It was! Luckily for Joe Riggs he shot himself in the hand and leg and nobody seems to be thinking that he has really messed his career up or anything.

At the same time, he was set to fight Paulo Thiago in the UFC, a place that Joe Riggs has had Joe Riggs working for eight years to return to. Eight years and now the dude can’t fight because he didn’t practice gun safety.

Bummer. Get well soon, Joe.

Here's a knockout from Shooto that happened and you need to watch it because... well JMMA

We all get into MMA in different ways. The way I got into it was through the JMMA scene, that's what hooked me and made me a hardcore fan. The Japanese had a way of making every event feel important, the VTRs before the fights, the fights themselves. They just captured me more as a fan, whereas the American MMA scene just didn't pull me in the same way. Of course I did learn to enjoy the MMA in America even though my preference still resides in Japan.

Over the past few years MMA in Japan has slowly died off. Now we are left with smaller shows that aren't aired live in America and are lucky to be aired live in Japan. So when a fun knockout comes out of Japan, you can be damn sure I'll post It on here. So watch this, enjoy it and yearn for more JMMA.

Conor McGregor doesn't just want to take part in being painted on a wall, he wants to take over the wall

Just when you thought the Conor McGregor hype couldn’t get any hype-ier, he has become the informal face of an Internet “man stuff” website,www.joe.ie. Or at least he did in theory.

Here he is, we think, painted on what looks like a concrete wall. Of course, it might be plaster. And then again, that might not be Conor McGregor at all. It might just be a cross between Archie’s best friend Jughead Jones and renowned MMA coach Greg Jackson. The Jughead connection is especially striking, considering how rare it is to see a three-pointed crown tilted at a perfect 30-degree angle these days.

But neither Forsythe Pendleton Jones III nor the Coach have ever sported an imperial gorilla chest tattoo, they aren’t inclined to flex on the foreground of Irish flags, and that quote is something McGregor is fond of saying in relation to his countrymen’s participation in the sport of Mixed Martial Arts. He repeated it during his recent post-fight interview, right after he dropped Diego Brandao like a sack of post-1740 potatoes

“But at the end of the day, look,” Conor said. “What’s next for me is I’m gonna go back stage, sit down with Mr. Lorenzo Fertitta, toast some fine-ass whiskey and talk about Futbol stadiums next. Futbol stadiums and world titles, that’s what I want.”

“My teammates went 3-0 tonight . . . I fed off of that,” he continued. “It was a clean sweep for the Irish. I said it last year, we’re not here just to take part, we’re here to take over.”

They say magic becomes art when it has nothing to hide. When post-fight speeches become art, sometimes you end up with an unintentional rendition of Dr. Jughead and Mr. Hyde.

You Can Experience UFC 175 Again With This Cinematic Recap

UFC 175 was a solid event. It featured Ronda Rousey being Ronda Rousey and Chris Weidman vs. Lyoto Machida. We’re cool with events like UFC 175 and will do our best to block out the terrible, awful memory that was the TUF 19 Finale. BJ Penn never retired, actually, he retired a long time ago and he never fought in a weird stance against Frankie Edgar. Never happened.

Fox Sports has been trying to find new and exciting ways to show you guys UFC footage, with the phantom cam probably being the best of such experiments. This is yet another Fox Sports experiment, this time using a hand cam for more “cinematic shots.” We’ll let you decide if this is awesome or not, but we definitely aren’t sure how to feel just yet.

Oh Hey -- It's a TUF 20 Teaser Trailer

The Ultimate Fighter has had a long run, in fact, it’s probably had way too long of a run. The last time I was actively paying attention to The Ultimate Fighter was when Tito and Ken were involved and we saw a very rare double turn go down; people decided that Ken Shamrock sucked and that Tito Ortiz was a rad guy. Weird how that turned out, huh?

That isn’t to say that I don’t know what goes on during more recent TUF series, I just can’t sit down and watch a reality show, never mind one with guys jizzing on each other’s food and stuff. Actually, now that I think about it, I did watch some of the Kimbo Slice season because Kimbo Slice was the last true, pure star of MMA.

TUF 20 is coming up in September and it looks like a season that might be worth watching! Cool, right? It’ll feature the Women’s Strawweight division and the winner comes out as the UFC Women’s Strawweight Champion. That’s actually really awesome and we support this. Fox Sports leaked out a trailer that you can catch right here. Get hyped, it’s a season that might be worth watching!

Let's relive Gennady Golovkin's TKO victory over Daniel Geale

I'm pretty sure when Badr Hari was here in America training to become a pro boxer for like two months,  before he realized he could make infinitely more in kickboxing where people know him. He said "Hey that GGG he's a reel stend ap fighter." Or maybe I'm just making up these odd little fantasies in my head. Which is a distinct possibility.

What isn't a fantasy is the fact that Gennady Golovkin punches harder than you ever will in your entire life. He would destroy the car in the Street Fighter mini game with a single light punch. That's a fact.

Seeing as that is an undeniable fact. Why not relive GGG'S knockout victory this weekend, eh?

The fact that Josh Rector only has one hand didn't stop him from nabbing an armbar win over the weekend

Josh Rector is an amateur middleweight fighter with a 3-0 record. He has one hand. Now, before we even get into it, he's a middleweight. Your dream fight involving Nick Newell and Josh Rector will never happen. But that's fine. I don't even know what it would prove if they did fight. That would be more of a novelty fight than anything. It would indeed be history-making, however...

Not only are the promoters of Blackout FC forward-thinking in the booking of Josh when many others would shy away from him and his lack of two hands, they have taken it a step farther and approved a glove-thingy for him to wear. Interesting. Check out his impressive performance below.

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