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Dustin Poirier - badass, UFC featherweight wins record holder

It seems like just yesterday we were watching Fightville, marveling at the skills of this young up and coming fighter. He was the guy who went 1-1 in the WEC, but also derailed Josh Grispi's career on short notice. The guy who had one of the best fights ever against the Korean Zombie in 2012, and now a fighter who has the most featherweight wins in UFC history. That's nuts. What's even more impressive about Dustin being 8-2 in the UFC over the last three years is the fact that he fights so consistently fun no matter what. If the dude doesn't get it done at first, he bites down on his mouthpiece and gets it done however he can. He's the anti-Diego. He's as cerebral as you can get for being a human who gets punched in the head for a living. He's dangerous standing up and on the ground.

Damn, this Dustin Poirier is just destined for greatness. If not, he'll be a fan favorite for a long time.

Here's Dustin coming back in the second round and breaking Akira Corassani's nose after being rocked early on in the fight. Bravo.

KJ Noons obliterates Sam Stout's dome in this first round knockout then Stout taps the ref

These two men only had 2 wins via strikes in their last 22 fights, despite their monikers and backgrounds, but all of that came to an end tonight as KJ Noons starched Sam Stout with a slick right that put him on his butt long enough for KJ to knock his block once again. It was beautiful, it's not what most people expected (a good point battle was what was predicted). 

I'm happy to say that most all of us were wrong. Watch the replay from Zprophet that capped off a highly-entertaining FOX Sports 1 prelims before we head into FOX Sports 1 for the FOX Sports 1 main card on FOX Sports 1.

Of course, the most important part of this whole situation is Stout tapping the ref with the deadly guillotine maneuver after the fight. Incredible.

 

Chad Mendes' pool jump was cool, but BJ Penn's was better. Here's why

We're seeing an influx of pool jump videos these days. With incredible athletes showing off their... Pool jumping skills via social media. Jumps from pools used to be a feat reserved for a couple of super-athletic buddies to replay only in their minds with pats on the back of the hero while they sipped beer, or coconut water. Now, we all get to be imprezzed thanks to the magic of cameras in phones. 

Have you ever thought about the fact that it might be a camera with a phone in it? Yeah.

So let's be clear here: pool jumps are not created equal. Chad Mendes proves this. In this 12,000 word essay, I will delve into the intricacies and minutiae of the jump from a California pool he posted on YouTube yesterday, then explain why it's not as good as BJ Penn's jump which took place nearly five years ago, when he was a God.

A special thanks to the US National Records for supplying two interns in an effort to lighten my heavy research load. Thank you, Ray and Tommie.

First, the video. Chad Mendes first.

Impressive? Of course. Uncontrollably baller? Hardly. Let's watch BJ do his thing on an old-school camera phone (2009 was wild).

Now, what sets these two acts apart? Well, let's bust out the bulletpoints.

  • Aspect ratio. It's 2014, we've all had these phones for a while. You're shooting something that is essentially a Torque commercial and you can't hold the phone sideways? Shame on all of the Alpha Males.
  • It's a T-shirt commercial at its essence, with a feat of strength.
  • The backflip was unnecessary and silly. Sure, it's athletic, but this is where the difference between BJ and Chad, between legend and contender truly stand out.
  • What does BJ do after he jumps out of the pool (slightly more submerged than Chad)? He walks over to the jacuzzi and hangs out with his dudes. No T-shirts are being pimped, just a pimp pimping his pimpiness minus any literal pimping going on. 
  • BJ slowly walking over to the jacuzzi tell us he was likely goaded into jumping from the pool by his buddies after a long workout or long eating session. We can all envision BJ turning down his pressing friends a few times, as he relaxed, arms outstretched in the comforting waters of the jacuzzi. Finally, BJ would oblige them, jump from the pool, then go back to relaxing. 
  • On the flip side, this was a highly-organized event, despite the aspect ratio screw up. 
  • Still, it's impressive, I don't want to take anything away from Chad, but it's kind of the difference between marrying a Playboy model and being Hugh Hefner. By walking into that jacuzzi nonchalant as ****, BJ Penn put on his silk, poll jumping smoking jacket.

A fighter's worst nightmare: Check out this upkick KO from Cage Warriors 67

Since we're on the topic of Cage Warriors yet again on MiddleEasy, let me tell you about the story of when I tried to trick the guys at Cage Warriors to send me to some European country, but I failed horribly.

A few weeks ago Cage Warriors had an event in Denmark and I DMd their Twitter account informing them that someone from within Cage Warriors told me they would fly me down to Denmark in order to cover their upcoming event. This message was relayed within Cage Warriors and eventually one of the execs from the promotion contacted me in order to locate who actually stated I would get a free trip/board for their Cage Warriors 66 card. I eventually came clean and told them I fabricated the entire thing in order to somehow get a free plane ticket to Denmark, and then the guy I was talking with suddenly took a stern tone and firmly said 'Cage Warriors doesn't pay for media, I'm sure MiddleEasy makes enough money that you can afford to fly here on your own free will.'

Egh, guess those guys at Cage Warriors don't have a sense of humor. However they do have some gnarly upkicks, as illustrated by this one that went down at Cage Warriors 67.

Ew, Michael Bisping wants to leave Tim Kennedy in a 'pile of piss and blood'

Beating a person into submission is one thing, but hoping they will urinate in their shorts -- that's just on another demented level that our brains aren't equipped to comprehend it. Michael Bisping recently stated on a FOX Sports interview that he wants to defeat Tim Kennedy to the point in which he transforms into a pile of 'piss and blood' on the floor. Of course if he's just liquid, what happened to his bones? Did Bisping eat them? If so, how did he eat them? There's so many questions that can be spawned from Bisping's statement, perhaps it's better that you read it yourself.

This will be a stoppage for sure, you ain't going to see a decision. I haven't come up here to Quebec for a mixed martial arts contest. I've come up here to beat Tim Kennedy up in the most violent way as I can possibly do. I want to hurt him, I want to leave him on the floor in a pile of piss and blood and he begs the referee to rip me off him and then I never want to hear Tim Kennedy's name mentioned in the same sentence as me ever again.

If we can't find Tim Kennedy's bones in this mess, then Michael Bisping just admitted that he's a cannibal -- and that's rather disgusting.

Jon Jones calls 'homosexuality a sin' and other homophobic remarks on Instagram

First off, these Instagram comments are coming directly from Jon Jones' official Instagram account. We've checked. Take off your Inspector Gadget hats for once. We've done the research. Now, Jon Jones called a guy from Sweden 'fag' multiple times on Instagram and even went so far as to say 'homosexuality is a sin.' Don't believe us? See for yourself, the comments on Instagram are still up there.

Now the real question is how fast do you think UFC PR will be all over this once they read this article? I'm giving it 35 minutes until these comments are deleted, so you better read them while they last. Here's a screenshot of them.

So this is what Michael Bisping told Tim Kennedy at the UFC TUF Finale weigh-ins

It's sort of hard to take Michael Bisping's threats seriously when you're a friggin' Green Beret Army Ranger and have snipped the head off a field rat from 4,000 yards away -- but apparently it's the illusion that matters going into tomorrow's UFC TUF Finale.

Earlier today I suggested the following:

Within a couple hours Dana White and his crew grabbed the audio of the staredown.

Which proves someone that we already knew, everyone in the UFC headquarters is a MiddleEasy fan. Enjoy.

Jeff Monson has quietly retired from MMA in Russia

This Jeff Monson, a verifiable international man of mystery. It's safe to say The Snowman has renounced being American after he stated anarchy was the country's only solution. Now all that's left of Monson is the newly developed Russian variation of his former self, one that continues to criticize the fallacies of America's economy. I can't be the only one that embraces this version of The Snowman. He may not be exactly what Nietzsche refereed to as the Übermensch -- but then again who really cares what German existentialists have to say about society. Those dudes can't even decide on whether reality even exists in the first place.

We can't lie and tell you that we knew Jeff Monson quietly retired from MMA in Russia after picking up his sixth consecutive win. Damn, well it was fun Monson. Thanks for all the communist propaganda and socialist enlightenment throughout the years.

Here's that brief Poirier vs. Corassani altercation from the UFC TUF Finale weigh-ins

I'm slowly straying away from MMA and instead, encouraging individuals to talk it out instead. Whatever can be solved inside of a cage can be diplomatically resolved with an engaging conversation. There's no real reason for Michael Bisping and Tim Kennedy to fight. Their jingoistic differences can be settled over tea and both can amicably agree on a winner and a loser. Human compassion at work right there, folks. It's what the world needs, but more importantly it's what UFC needs.

Stop the fighting and let's open up a healthy dialogue. All of this nonsense between Poirier and Corassani at the UFC TUF Finale weigh-ins wouldn't have happened if they just left the aggression in the gym. Check it out.

Don't forget to watch the UFC Bisping vs. Kennedy weigh-ins LIVE right here at 4 pm EST / 1 pm PST

The UFC calls it the TUF Finale: Canada vs. Australia weigh-ins, but let's face it, who actually watched any episode of that version of TUF? While I did watch TUF Smashes: Australia vs. UK, I simply couldn't find anything redeeming about seeing Canada vs. Australia go head to head. Perhaps if you're Canadian or Australian then you would find some value in it, but it was a complete bust to me. Someone tell me if I'm missing out, seriously. Otherwise I will assume that I made the right decision and then go about my day completely justified in my actions.

We all want to see Michael Bisping vs. Tim Kennedy take of their shirts to show their dehydrated and naked bodies while they pose in front an international audience. Be sure to come back to MiddleEasy at 4 pm EST / 1 pm PST to watch the entire thing right here on MiddleEasy.

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