The Diaz Brothers run the best neighborhood watch and here’s the shirt to prove it

The Diaz brothers would like to run your homeowners association. Running on a platform of folks getting slapped, wolf tickets, soccer moms in Lodi, and nunchucks the Diaz brothers will advocate for your homeowner needs. Retired couple Bill and Nancy could not compete with the campaigning aptitude of Nick and Nate Diaz. The Diaz brothers will run your HOA with a 209 sensibility.

The entire Cesar Gracie Jiu-Jitsu squad will govern over your housing development. Cesar Gracie has an innate talent for organization and making killer power point presentations. Richard Perez knows the ins and outs of home alterations as well permit guides. If the addition you want on your home isn’t up with California building code requirements Perez will call you out on it.

Nick and Nate will completely overhaul your entire neighborhood watch program. Asked to describe how he would run a gangster (expletive) warfare neighborhood watch one of the Diaz brothers said “I’m here to fight. I’m not trying to be a movie star. I’m not trying to wear a (expletive) suit like K.J. Noons. I’ll save my money to buy some (expletive) weed. You know what I mean?”

Oh that grown man up in your tree dressed as a ninja and toting nunchucks, don’t worry that’s just a Diaz brother keeping your cul-de-sac crime free. A safe community is a great selling point for potential home buyers. The Diaz brother’s neighborhood watch program will increase your home value.

 

Published on January 22, 2015 at 6:11 pm
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