I’m willing to bet up to $15 American dollars that Michael Landsberg is actually Renee Zellwegger. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong, but I believe it. There’s a chance that if he’s not Renee Zellwegger, he’s actually a low-quality android being controlled by a team of puppeteers. That’s why his back is always against his chair. He’s got fiddling hands making him wave his cards around to the tune of $24,000 a year plus benefits. The job is what it is, and the puppeteers know that if they do a good job on Landsberg, they may be able to move up in the world and eventually work on Dark Crystal 2: The Fall of Bowie.
So stare at Michael Landsberg’s mouth and hear the words coming out. Some of the questions are annoying, and think that CM Punk might not know about hockey outside of Chicago. #UFC
