Louisiana just banned female fighters with breast implants from competing in MMA

Louisiana just banned female fighters with breast implants from competing in MMA

Just imagine how much our society would change if the source of attraction wasn't two fatty lumps on a female's chest, but neck fat instead. Somewhere in a parallel universe inside the infinite plane of existence, this is actually true. Breasts aren't the 'in' thing. In fact they get in the way of chick's double chin. The more the better -- in this hypothetical culture inside this hypothetical universe. Girls would cover up their neck with chin bras wherever they go. Every hot chick would look like they just broke their neck. The perkier the neck fat, the higher your chance would be to land that killer corner office at your new job. Entire adult magazines would be dedicated to showing off neck fat of girls that have daddy issues. At the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show, Janet Jackson had a wardrobe malfunction that involved an 'unintentional' neck slip -- and it was the biggest controversy that year.

That parallel universe exists somewhere in the multi-verse, but in our universe it appears that Louisiana just banned female fighters that have breast implants from competing in MMA. Yesterday the Louisiana State Boxing and Wrestling Commission passed a rule that prohibits female fighters from competing in MMA unless they get a note from the doctor that surgically placed the implants in their chest.

It appears the bizarre rule is in direct response to a female fighter that recently pulled out of a match due to a problem with her breast implant. The reactionary commission doesn't know what would happen if a breast implant ruptures, so this moratorium is in place for the next two months until the commission gathers more information about what exactly makes a breast implant explode in one's chest.

Strange world we live in. Props to @WMMANews for the find.

Zeus @MiddleEasy

Zeus is represented by Galactus in his avatar image because he has an immature obsession with Marvel when they went all sci-fi back in the mid 80s. I'm the creator of MiddleEasy and Nickelodeon's The Adventures of Pete and Pete. Just kidding about the Nickelodeon stuff, but that would be really cool.

Twitter: @MiddleEasy

Email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.


+31 # FreeLeeMurray 2013-09-12 16:43
Ban hot chicks from fighting, let dudes fight as chicks. YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!!
+2 # ADoseofBuckley 2013-09-13 09:46
Well, technically I don't think Fallon Fox could fight under these rules either (unless she decided that all of the sudden it's fine to call herself a man under a technicality if the rules don't say anything about men with breast implants fighting). It would be assumed that as part of the gender reassignment surgery there were some implants put in and that it's not all hormones.
+10 # Bobbert 2013-09-12 16:48
Isn't WrestleMania in Louisiana next year? LOL.
-3 # Garrbanzzo 2013-09-12 17:11
Yes, yes it is
+9 # DrainBamaged 2013-09-12 17:03
Might be naive here but really, how many could there be in the sport?
+19 # Garrbanzzo 2013-09-12 17:12
So I guess Miesha Tate won't be fighting there any time soon.
-5 # NoHomo 2013-09-12 17:59
Victory for common sense
-3 # Fatty_Sam86 2013-09-12 20:00
Hey if any of these girls feel bad and need someone to hug, I'm always here.
+13 # lol 2013-09-12 20:21
wtf I came for tits ..............
+1 # Kuroshimaru 2013-09-13 05:19
i came too!
+1 # Lefthea D. Kick 2013-09-12 21:13
+3 # GUCCI 2013-09-12 22:00
that chick a dime
+1 # Kenneth.Allen.By.RNC 2013-09-13 09:49
Jordan Carver
+6 # ibtc 2013-09-13 04:20
Just imagine having a TKO by ruptured boob on your record.
-6 # PeteDaMeat 2013-09-13 08:53
ill let her fight.

she can suck my cock and fight for air.

-3 # Connor 2013-09-13 11:13
Discrimination towards nice round perky tits!
+1 # ShogunTapped2Strikes 2013-09-13 14:49
The dr's are gonna have a lot of fun checking which boobs are real and fake.

They'll be disappointed that Gina no longer fights, though. Missed a fun examination there.
-1 # lycan_warlord 2013-09-15 09:27
and to think i thought my state was gonna break new ground in a good way
0 # pathros 2013-09-15 17:20
Strange world indeed!
0 # fail win 2013-09-19 04:41
Many women are born with breasts that are out of proportion with their bodies. Breasts can be too large or too small, which can have a serious effect on a woman’s self-image.

breast implant in delhi

Add comment

Security code

You can pinpoint the exact moment these Phillies fans heart breaks

As a sports fan I've suffered a lot. It's well known that I've always been fond of Pride FC and their fighters, everyone gets old, and that's what has happened...

04-15-2014 | Gary LaPlante | 3 Comments

Watch RZA's super unrealistic fight scene against Tony Jaa in The Protector 2

Do you think there will ever be a point in history in which film connoisseurs will unanimously agree that RZA is an action star? Has that quietly arrived and I...

04-10-2014 | Zeus @MiddleEasy | 7 Comments

Fabricio Werdum decimated Travis Browne's entire reality at UFC on FOX 11

It's interesting to see how many MMA fans never tuned into Showtime on June 26th 2010 and felt the bizarrely painful bundle of emotions that filled every MMA fan on...

04-19-2014 | Zeus @MiddleEasy | 25 Comments

This Video Theorizes That It's Nintendo's Fault That the Wii U Doesn't Sell

When we talk about the next generation video game consoles, or the “now generation” game consoles, we tend to only be talking about the Xbox One and PlayStation 4. That...

04-20-2014 | Dave Walsh | 4 Comments

Jon Jones calls 'homosexuality a sin' and other homophobic remarks on Instagram

First off, these Instagram comments are coming directly from Jon Jones' official Instagram account. We've checked. Take off your Inspector Gadget hats for once. We've done the research. Now, Jon...

04-15-2014 | Zeus @MiddleEasy | 47 Comments

Dana White wants you to believe that UFC 172 is the most stacked card in UFC history

So going down in this weekend's UFC 172 fight card, it's hard not to say Jon Jones vs. Glover Teixeira is probably the biggest light heavyweight fight the MMA world...

04-22-2014 | Zeus @MiddleEasy | 16 Comments

A fighter's worst nightmare: Check out this upkick KO from Cage Warriors 67

Since we're on the topic of Cage Warriors yet again on MiddleEasy, let me tell you about the story of when I tried to trick the guys at Cage Warriors...

04-16-2014 | Zeus @MiddleEasy | 1 Comment

A Lesson in Street MMA: Never cheap shot a fat guy in a Hawaiian shirt, EVER

So what we have here is the classic case of an overconfident doorman and a fat guy that has a head constructed out of uncrushable brain cells. There's not much...

04-22-2014 | Zeus @MiddleEasy | 5 Comments

Jeff Monson has quietly retired from MMA in Russia

This Jeff Monson, a verifiable international man of mystery. It's safe to say The Snowman has renounced being American after he stated anarchy was the country's only solution. Now all...

04-15-2014 | Zeus @MiddleEasy | 8 Comments

Log In or Sign Up

Registrations are OPEN this week.

Log in with Facebook

Forgot your password? / Forgot your username?