Menu

Louisiana just banned female fighters with breast implants from competing in MMA

Louisiana just banned female fighters with breast implants from competing in MMA

Just imagine how much our society would change if the source of attraction wasn't two fatty lumps on a female's chest, but neck fat instead. Somewhere in a parallel universe inside the infinite plane of existence, this is actually true. Breasts aren't the 'in' thing. In fact they get in the way of chick's double chin. The more the better -- in this hypothetical culture inside this hypothetical universe. Girls would cover up their neck with chin bras wherever they go. Every hot chick would look like they just broke their neck. The perkier the neck fat, the higher your chance would be to land that killer corner office at your new job. Entire adult magazines would be dedicated to showing off neck fat of girls that have daddy issues. At the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show, Janet Jackson had a wardrobe malfunction that involved an 'unintentional' neck slip -- and it was the biggest controversy that year.

That parallel universe exists somewhere in the multi-verse, but in our universe it appears that Louisiana just banned female fighters that have breast implants from competing in MMA. Yesterday the Louisiana State Boxing and Wrestling Commission passed a rule that prohibits female fighters from competing in MMA unless they get a note from the doctor that surgically placed the implants in their chest.

It appears the bizarre rule is in direct response to a female fighter that recently pulled out of a match due to a problem with her breast implant. The reactionary commission doesn't know what would happen if a breast implant ruptures, so this moratorium is in place for the next two months until the commission gathers more information about what exactly makes a breast implant explode in one's chest.

Strange world we live in. Props to @WMMANews for the find.

Zeus @MiddleEasy

Zeus is represented by Galactus in his avatar image because he has an immature obsession with Marvel when they went all sci-fi back in the mid 80s. I'm the creator of MiddleEasy and Nickelodeon's The Adventures of Pete and Pete. Just kidding about the Nickelodeon stuff, but that would be really cool.

Twitter: @MiddleEasy

Email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Ken Shamrock on getting stabbed, putting dudes in comas, and beating up The Big Show

This new Ken Shamrock interview is dedicated to growing online community of people who believe Steve Wonder has been faking his blindness for the last 50 years. More of a...

04-22-2015 | Tommy Messano | No comments

This new interactive UFC 187 poster features Daniel Cormier laughing and mocking Jon Jones

If Jon Jones was walking the streets of Albuquerque and saw the latest UFC 187 poster he would throw his dress shoe at it. Not a Reebok pump shoe because...

04-29-2015 | Tommy Messano | No comments

Report: Chuck Liddell wins hot wing eating contest then celebrates with Bruce Buffer

Dateline the bottomless pit Chuck Liddell calls his stomach. For the past several weeks rumors have circulated that former UFC light heavyweight champion Chuck Liddell has gotten his competitive itch...

04-25-2015 | Tommy Messano | No comments

Watching Nick Diaz roll on Jiu-Jitsu mats, get tapped, and just keep going is your moment of Zen for the day

Like a motivational cat poster from the 1970s this new Nick Diaz video will really make you sit back and reflect on all of life challenges. If Diaz can get...

05-02-2015 | Tommy Messano | No comments

Here's Cro Cop talking about that time he choked out Fabricio Werdum

We're still riding high off of Cro Cops win over Gabriel Gonzaga, so there's no better time than now to go back in time and listen to Cro Cop talk...

04-20-2015 | Jerry Merril | No comments

Anthony Johnson will wait for Jon Jones. Clear eyes, full hearts can't lose.

Anthony Johnson has overcome the adversity of beating the mother of his children, so you better believe he's not going to let a little things like Jon Jones getting in...

04-28-2015 | Jerry Merril | No comments

The Jon Jones crash recreated in 90's style graphics

Yes, even the Jon Jones crash gets the JFK computer generated graphics treatment. You didn't know what you could know about this event, and now you'll see it recreated in...

05-03-2015 | Jerry Merril | No comments

Floyd Mayweather's Punch-Out!!! is the best thing to come out of last night

It's Punch-Out!!! It's awesome, and it's all you need to recover from the hangover a $100 PPV induced. Mayweather versus Pacquiao may not have been the greatest fight, but it...

05-03-2015 | Jerry Merril | No comments

Boxing super-fan gets Floyd Mayweather kissing Manny Pacquiao shaved into his head

“At Last”. Singer Etta James sang her R&B classic for this dude while he sat in his local barbershop and go that haircut. Whatever is the thing you’re looking forward...

05-02-2015 | Tommy Messano | No comments

Log In or Sign Up

Registrations are OPEN this week.

Log in with Facebook

Forgot your password? / Forgot your username?