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Louisiana just banned female fighters with breast implants from competing in MMA

Louisiana just banned female fighters with breast implants from competing in MMA

Just imagine how much our society would change if the source of attraction wasn't two fatty lumps on a female's chest, but neck fat instead. Somewhere in a parallel universe inside the infinite plane of existence, this is actually true. Breasts aren't the 'in' thing. In fact they get in the way of chick's double chin. The more the better -- in this hypothetical culture inside this hypothetical universe. Girls would cover up their neck with chin bras wherever they go. Every hot chick would look like they just broke their neck. The perkier the neck fat, the higher your chance would be to land that killer corner office at your new job. Entire adult magazines would be dedicated to showing off neck fat of girls that have daddy issues. At the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show, Janet Jackson had a wardrobe malfunction that involved an 'unintentional' neck slip -- and it was the biggest controversy that year.

That parallel universe exists somewhere in the multi-verse, but in our universe it appears that Louisiana just banned female fighters that have breast implants from competing in MMA. Yesterday the Louisiana State Boxing and Wrestling Commission passed a rule that prohibits female fighters from competing in MMA unless they get a note from the doctor that surgically placed the implants in their chest.

It appears the bizarre rule is in direct response to a female fighter that recently pulled out of a match due to a problem with her breast implant. The reactionary commission doesn't know what would happen if a breast implant ruptures, so this moratorium is in place for the next two months until the commission gathers more information about what exactly makes a breast implant explode in one's chest.

Strange world we live in. Props to @WMMANews for the find.

Zeus @MiddleEasy

Zeus is represented by Galactus in his avatar image because he has an immature obsession with Marvel when they went all sci-fi back in the mid 80s. I'm the creator of MiddleEasy and Nickelodeon's The Adventures of Pete and Pete. Just kidding about the Nickelodeon stuff, but that would be really cool.

Twitter: @MiddleEasy

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