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There you have it, Dan Henderson vs. Daniel Cormier at UFC 173, winner gets a title shot

Just minutes ago Dana White announced on ESPN Sportscenter that Dan Henderson vs. Daniel Cormier has been assembled for UFC 173 and the winner gets a title shot against the winner of Jon Jones vs. Glover Teixeira. Woah, bet you didn't expect that happening today -- and if you did you're probably into soothsaying witchcraft. That's the breaking news Dana White planned for this week, and now you know. Consider yourself privileged.

In the meantime, let's look at this video of Hendo teaching the world how to pull off the H-bomb.

You have NEVER seen Jon Jones vs. Alexander Gustafsson from this angle, ever

If you snooze you lose, but if you don't snooze then you'll have insomnia and poor health. Either lose or suffer from poor health. There are absolutely no other alternatives. Snooze or die, and then snooze forever. Basically it's impossible to truly win, you can only not lose. That's life for you, folks. Sorry to get so unnecessarily deep this early in the morning -- I know you're tired, which is just more evidence that you should have snoozed.

We can guarantee you watching Jones vs. Gustafsson live did not make any of you snooze. It was the moment when the entire MMA world thought he champion would be dethroned by a dude from Sweden, only to find out that in the end, Jones' swager levels were just a little higher than Alexander. You've seen the fight before, but we can 100% guarantee you that you've never seen it from this angle.

Glover Teixeira says he will be shocked if Jon Jones dominates him at UFC 172

It's only Wednesday and I can already feel the anticipation building up in the air for Jon Jones vs. Glover Teixeira. You know that unmistakable emotion you felt when Werdum was walking to the cage to fight Travis Browne last Saturday? Now multiply it by 60x and you have your UFC 172 main event. I'm willing to say I believe Glover Teixeira will defeat Jon Jones based on the fact that it seems like with every title defense, his body has been slowly falling apart. I mean the toe from Chael Sonnen, the arm from Vitor Belfort, the eye and leg from Alexander Gustafsson. The real question is what injury will Jones leave the Octagon with this time, and will he have his belt around his waist?

If you ask Teixeira then he would be more than happy to answer that question. In an interview with Brazil's SporTV, Glover stated that he would be surprised if Jones could dominate him in their upcoming UFC 172 fight.

During my fights and training people already know that's very difficult to happen. I already fought Rampage Jackson and took him down easily - six TDs that, honestly, I didn't even had to struggle. I fought Ryan Bader and also took him down. Neither of them took me to the ground. I train with top fellows, like Chuck Liddell, Lyoto Machida, I've also trained with JDS and Cain Velásquez and neither of them, nor anybody, dominated me. If it happens, what he's talking about, I'll be very surprised. Some people believe that, but if he actually pulls this off I'll be shocked, because it has never happened in my career, neither in training nor in fights. I don't believe I'll dominate him either, but I think my hand will reach him and I'll get the KO.

I don't think about dominating, I prepare myself for the worse hypothesis. I train to remain calm during the situations that may occur. If he drops me, I'll pass the guard, mount or take his back, I prepared myself to do that. I'll fight Jon Jones on the UFC, he's among the best of all time. I expect shots coming from everywhere. He's almost the same as Anderson Silva, only more predictable. Anderson is more startling. But my technique will prevail over this tactics and I'll get to the top. I'll take this belt.

I'm picking Teixeira not because I want to see Jones lose, but simply because Teixeira would be considered a mythical creature if he existed 4,000 years ago.

A Lesson in Street MMA: Never cheap shot a fat guy in a Hawaiian shirt, EVER

So what we have here is the classic case of an overconfident doorman and a fat guy that has a head constructed out of uncrushable brain cells. There's not much back story to this Lesson in Street MMA, but it appears the fat dude and his friends were having a slight run-in with the bouncers outside of a club. Apparently the fat guy was a verbal wizard and slammed the doorman's ego to the point where he tried to lunge at him with a headbutt. The angle on the video sort of prevents us from seeing if it landed, but the fat guy immediately walked through three people to launch one clean shot on the bouncer. Of course this was the end for any hope of civility for these people, and in the end the fat guy reigned supreme -- sans Hawaiian shirt. Props to Gonzo for the +100 news tip.

Lyoto Machida took this video of his superhuman-like balance just to rub it in your face

If I leave my computer on for a while, the fan sounds like it's saying 'Maaaaaaaaan' like it's about to tell me something really cool. So I stand there a few minutes waiting in anticipation and nothing happens. My computer gives me positive alarms of false excitement -- and I let it slide because it's the only thing I know in the world that can play Elder Scrolls Online in full resolution. If I had a girlfriend and she greeted me everyday with a long 'Maaaaaan' but did not provide any follow-up story and was also unable to play Elder Scrolls Online in any capacity, she would be out the door faster than my old girlfriend (stop reading MiddleEasy, Samantha).

All of this somehow has to do with Lyoto Machida balancing on two slackwires suspended from trees, but I just can't imagine a segue to connect them together. You're just going to have to trust me on this.

Boxing's Elie Seckbach trashes Joe Rogan for discussing Rousey vs. Mayweather

For all those non-boxing fans out there, Elie Seckbach is a fast-talking journalists that has rose to the forefront of the boxing industry by placing a camera in front of people while asking them thought-provoking questions. Everyone knows Elie Seckbach, heck he's even referenced in hip-hop songs. In the boxing world, he's sort of a big thing -- think Ariel Helwani before he went all corporate and became a part of the UFC/FOX machine.

My god there's a lot of set-up just to properly understand this video -- heck we're not even done yet.

So a few days ago Joe Rogan made an appearance on ESPN's Sportsnation and said that Ronda Rousey could beat Floyd Mayweather Jr. in a hypothetical fight. This was in response to an earlier question posed by ESPN's First Take last month.

The fact is Ronda Rousey and Floyd Mayweather will never be in a situation in which they would have to fight, yet every person wants to express their opinion on the subject. It's basically like pitting The Punisher vs. Batman in an arena and then arguing with people as to who would win (Punisher would win, by the way).

Elie Seckbach decided to get a camera and vent some of his thoughts on the imaginary match-up and Joe Rogan somehow catches the most shrapnel in all of this.

Watch Jon Jones teach MMA to Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan

I think it was the great philosopher Ronda Rousey that said 'Show them something shiny to get their attention, then show them something real to keep it.'

In this instance of the banner photo, show Jon Jones in a blue vest, in a seductive pose while rocking elastic pants on a French magazine and then my gay neighbors will share this with all their buds that work at Fiesta Cantina in West Hollywood. Ah, fantastic Jon Jones. This guy, always thinking about the betterment of MiddleEasy. Keep it up Jon Jones and you will eventually break the top five in the official MiddleEasy Frate Trane List.

Earlier this morning Jon Jones made an appearance on 'Live with Kelly and Michael,' and for international people that are unfamiliar with this show, it exists to give soccer moms something to do in the morning. Jones taught the hosts how to do fun MMA stuff, and you guys should check it out.

Dana White wants you to believe that UFC 172 is the most stacked card in UFC history

So going down in this weekend's UFC 172 fight card, it's hard not to say Jon Jones vs. Glover Teixeira is probably the biggest light heavyweight fight the MMA world has seen since Bones took on Machida at UFC 140 back in 2011. Lyoto Machida posed the last real threat to his title -- no one truly thought that Belfort, Sonnen, or Evans even had a shot at dethroning him. As far as his bout against Alexander Gustafsson, people only hoped Jones would lose to Gust, but after watching that fight again, Jones clearly won the fight, albeit a bit damaged and bruised.

Therefore when it comes to a light heavyweight bout, yes UFC 172 offers the most spectacular match-up in 3 years. Glover has finished every fight he's been in since 2010 aside from when he fought Rampage Jackson. In his five-fight UFC career he's fought a notable list of 205 lbers, the last of which he finished in the first round and received knockout of the night honors.

However Dana White wants you to believe the entire card is stacked, so let's look at some of the offerings other than the main event.

Phil Davis vs. Rumble Johnson - OK, Rumble's triumphant return to the Octagon since he missed weight by several hundred pounds (give or take a few hundred). This is your typical and cliche 'styles make fights' match-ups, so it could end in seconds or be the most boring fight of the card. If Jones vs. Teixeira is an A, I will give this bout a B-.

Luke Rockhold vs. Tim Boetsch - I'm not sure what this fight does for the middleweight division since we already know Machida, Silva, Belfort, Jacare get a crack at Weidman, and most likely in that order. C for still being somewhat relevant.

Jim Miller vs. Yancy Medeiros - Egh, this one is on the main card and I'm not sure why. Both guys are good, but remember we're paying to see them fight. D-

Max Holloway vs. Andre Fili - Yeah, another fight that's somehow on the main card. We just don't care about this. F

I'm not going to go through the prelims, but the only three notable names are Takanori Gomi, Joseph Benavidez, and Jessamyn Duke. That's it. Here, have a look for yourself.

Of course this isn't the most stacked card in UFC history, however the UFC communicates in hyperboles -- that's why every fight we always get a 'Greatest [insert thing] in UFC history' mention. It's all marketing people, so get marketed to and watch this new Dana White fight vlog.

TMZ hijacks Jon Jones' life for this interview about celebrity butts

As a heterosexual butt connoisseur myself, I've been alerted of the attributes of Iggy Azalea which seem almost superhuman-like in nature. Tia Sweets is another person of whom I've admired throughout the years. If we're going to go back a decade or so, Brazil's Tiazinha is another one on my list, partially due to her catwoman mask. We could go at this all day, and quite frankly we probably should. I have no problem showing you guys who I believe has the greatest rear end in the world right now, in fact I'm getting paid for it. However I'm just a guy that runs MiddleEasy, not even close to the UFC light heavyweight champion Jon Bones Jones.

TMZ decided to stick a camera in his face and hijack his life for a few minutes, and if you guys don't watch the video then it's all in vain.

Bobby Lashley says he will probably be fighting for WSOF in the near future

If freakishly large muscles were currency, Bobby Lashley could buy out the political regime of a small third-world country. He has the physique we all want, unless you're a female -- in which case he has the exact opposite of the physique that you've always wanted.

There should be no reason for Ms. Brazil not to win every Miss Universe pageant from now until the sun kills the earth. Just like there should be no reason that Bobby Lashley shouldn't take down every opponent he's ever faced and maul them to a bloody shell of their former self. However, we all saw the paradigm shift at Strikeforce: Houston against potential Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand-Prix participant, Chad Griggs back in 2010. Since then Lashley has been bouncing from a multitude of MMA promotions and has racked up a record of 10-2. Now it appears Lashley wants to make yet another appearance inside the cage, this time in World Series of Fighting. Hey, don't act like you wouldn't watch Lashley squash it out for fifteen minutes against a dude that's microscopic compared to him.

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