The Michael Bay Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer is the most Michael Bay thing ever

I know someone who is working on this movie in the art department. For the life of me, I can’t remember who. That’s pretty much sums up life in the LA area – bringing up that you know someone who is working on something but you aren’t sure who. I mean, everyone is working on something in LA, some just have their soul sucked by Michael Bay as if he’s some action movie Shang Tsung. 

Eastman and Laird are turning over in their graves. (They aren’t dead yet.) Sure, they are getting tons of cash, but the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle books are dark, gritty and gory affairs with very little complete and total destruction of entire cities (outside of one key scene in the first few books). 

Leave it to Michael Bay to change that. He rapes your childhood and laughs as your tears stain your cheeks. Why can’t TMNT be a ****ing ninja movie instead of the huge spot moment, building-toppling movie that Michael Bay makes every time?

I don’t care, I’m not going to see this. I will write an article about the trailer though.