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The Michael Bay Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer is the most Michael Bay thing ever

The Michael Bay Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer is the most Michael Bay thing ever

I know someone who is working on this movie in the art department. For the life of me, I can't remember who. That's pretty much sums up life in the LA area - bringing up that you know someone who is working on something but you aren't sure who. I mean, everyone is working on something in LA, some just have their soul sucked by Michael Bay as if he's some action movie Shang Tsung. 

Eastman and Laird are turning over in their graves. (They aren't dead yet.) Sure, they are getting tons of cash, but the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle books are dark, gritty and gory affairs with very little complete and total destruction of entire cities (outside of one key scene in the first few books). 

Leave it to Michael Bay to change that. He rapes your childhood and laughs as your tears stain your cheeks. Why can't TMNT be a ****ing ninja movie instead of the huge spot moment, building-toppling movie that Michael Bay makes every time?

I don't care, I'm not going to see this. I will write an article about the trailer though.

Jason Nawara

Jason began his writing career with crayons put to construction paper, then he moved on to 8 x 10 cursive ruled paper in grade school, then eventually to the computer, where he now writes every single day for better or worse. Jason enjoys freedom, videogames, and the martial arts. Interested in booking Jason for birthdays or family gatherings? Send him an email.

Twitter: @JasonNawara

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Comments   

 
+1 # stevemcawesome 2014-03-27 11:12
At least the trailer is in 1080p.
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+1 # Hunter C 2014-03-27 11:26
I come from a childhood of wearing out multiple TMNT (1990) VHS tapes because it was greatest thing to ever be rewound in my VCR...

But even my judgmental-ass can appreciate a slightly different take on it.. Do these Ninjas Turtles look more dark than the 1990 version or all the cartoon versions; YES THEY DO. and so is the entire tone of this trailer.

Even though I'm that guy out of my friends who thinks every Transformers movie is ridiculously stupid and CGI'd to death, I think you blew those two tiny clips of a falling skyscraper antenna out of proportion.

William Fichtner (Shredder) also says "crime has run rampant and our great city is being destroyed".. that doesn't mean buildings are getting toppled over and cities are being devoured by giant robots.

I just got done arguing with my brother about this. Michael Bay now gets that "Lebron" treatment where it's almost popular and mainstream to say the same things about everything he does.

I'll be watching this while eating a large pepperoni pizza..... and of course, with no anchovies.
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0 # Lawl 2014-03-27 11:41
the hipster of ninja turtles wrote this... :cry:
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+2 # Thulsadoom 2014-03-27 11:42
GEEZUS CHRIST!

Leave the past alone.
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+1 # AFrontKicktotheFace 2014-03-27 12:12
Fuck yooooooooooouuu u Michael Bay, fuck you sooo hard. This looks god-awful. He shit all over the turtles.
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-1 # Polybius 2014-03-27 13:08
It doesn't look as bad as I expected. I actually kinda like design of the turtles but Megan "Cripple-thumbs " Fox totally ruins it.
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+1 # shitbird 2014-03-27 13:41
angry dudes need to cool it, this is geared towards kids who aren't old enough to remember the cartoons. those kids are used to and look forward to CGI, wire stunts, megan fox in movies, etc.

if you watched the trailer and didn't like it, pat yourself on the back, you've grown up.
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0 # pride_power 2014-03-27 13:56
WELL KRANG MY ASS THIS LOOKS BAD!! i am not going the cinema to see this,i will watch it by other means though 8)
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-1 # Mister NRG 2014-03-27 15:17
TMNT was a HUGE part of my childhood - Hell yeah I am going to watch this! Turtles look kinda weird though...but it is just a different take. I am down for this movie
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+3 # Puck 2014-03-27 17:40
Ugh Megan Fox as April is terrible, bitch can't act worth a damn!!
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-2 # GONZO 2014-03-27 19:53
I'm gonna watch it.
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-1 # DDon 2014-03-28 10:17
This writer needs to do his research as Eastman and Laird are actually invloved in this new movie. They have have already talked about their involvement publicly...
Reply
 
 
0 # Joe O. 2014-04-07 15:45
They may be able to help but their involvement doesn't guarantee protection from producer Michael Bay's "vision".
Reply
 
 
0 # Howie Feltersnatch 2014-04-03 04:41
Where are rocksteady & be bop????
Reply
 

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