Menu

The Michael Bay Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer is the most Michael Bay thing ever

The Michael Bay Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer is the most Michael Bay thing ever

I know someone who is working on this movie in the art department. For the life of me, I can't remember who. That's pretty much sums up life in the LA area - bringing up that you know someone who is working on something but you aren't sure who. I mean, everyone is working on something in LA, some just have their soul sucked by Michael Bay as if he's some action movie Shang Tsung. 

Eastman and Laird are turning over in their graves. (They aren't dead yet.) Sure, they are getting tons of cash, but the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle books are dark, gritty and gory affairs with very little complete and total destruction of entire cities (outside of one key scene in the first few books). 

Leave it to Michael Bay to change that. He rapes your childhood and laughs as your tears stain your cheeks. Why can't TMNT be a ****ing ninja movie instead of the huge spot moment, building-toppling movie that Michael Bay makes every time?

I don't care, I'm not going to see this. I will write an article about the trailer though.

Jason Nawara

Jason began his writing career with crayons put to construction paper, then he moved on to 8 x 10 cursive ruled paper in grade school, then eventually to the computer, where he now writes every single day for better or worse. Jason enjoys freedom, videogames, and the martial arts. Interested in booking Jason for birthdays or family gatherings? Send him an email.

Twitter: @JasonNawara

Email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Ken Shamrock versus Kimbo Slice animated from their action figures is the greatest thing

Alright, after this the internet can be shut down. Well, maybe you should listen to the WTF with Marc Maron where Obama visited the garage, but this, combined with that...

06-22-2015 | Jerry Merril | No comments

Bah Gawd! What is Nick Diaz doing at the Bellator weigh-ins in St. Louis?

Like that time Ben Askren hung around an UFC event or that time Tito Ortiz waved to the CBS cameras, but not like that time Jake Shields and Dana White...

06-19-2015 | Tommy Messano | No comments

Joe Lauzon teaches us how to do a real powerbomb in an actual MMA fight

Wait a minute? Is that Joe Lauzon's music!?! The king of the UFC's bonus system returns to the cage next month to take on Takanori Gomi but before that fight...

06-25-2015 | Tommy Messano | No comments

Watch Jose Aldo versus Chad Mendes in its entirety, you won't regret it

2015 has been good to us in terms of pure fights. We can complain about drugs, fighters and promoters being douchebags, Reebok, politics, people being gay for Jesus and more,...

06-29-2015 | Jerry Merril | No comments

Video: Kimbo Slice nearly had his pinky toe cut off after his epic fight with Ken Shamrock

Did Kimbo Slice tap to Ken Shamrock? Was the whole fight a fix? Do you really need all ten of your toes after you've already won your fight? Bellator's version...

06-26-2015 | Tommy Messano | No comments

Kyle Kingsbury is a 420 Games sponsored athlete, and he wants to tell you about medicinal marijuana

Kyle Kingsbury may be known as a goofy, yet handsome man who will forever have a highlight of getting his face broken by Jimi Manuwa, then jerking off onto sushi...

06-16-2015 | Jerry Merril | No comments

Like Sea Level Cain, can anyone stop Good Home Life Tito?

Tito Ortiz is 2-0 since his home life became good. This much we know. He's become born again under the Bellator lights, defeating Stephan Bonnar and then stopping Shlemenko easily....

06-21-2015 | Jerry Merril | No comments

Chael Sonnen says Jose Aldo could lose 3.5 million dollars if he doesn't fight Conor McGregor at UFC 189

Ribs are expensive. Before there was the belt stealing, limousine riding, smacking talking Conor McGregor hounding a Brazilian champion for months on end there was Chael P. Sonnen. With the...

06-24-2015 | Tommy Messano | No comments

Not UFC fighting until 2016 CM Punk does MMA things in this new Frank Turner music video

CM Punk will fight in the UFC before the end of 2016 Stanley Cup finals. The UFC doesn't offer a money back guarantee on this claim but Mr. Punk has...

06-17-2015 | Tommy Messano | No comments

Log In or Sign Up

Registrations are OPEN this week.

Log in with Facebook

Forgot your password? / Forgot your username?