Menu

Cub Swanson on Guinness, Golf and Conor McGregor

Cub Swanson is a dude that is very much in line for a shot at the UFC Featherweight Championship at some point, but it’s hard to deny that Conor McGregor is making a name for himself right now. Cub Swanson went to Dublin, Ireland to witness the rise of Conor McGregor where he got to deal with a bit of Conor McGregor trash talk while also enjoying himself a bit as well. That’s good. Everyone deserves some enjoyment in their lives now and then.

Apparently Cub Swanson is taking golf seriously now, so much so that he found three random dudes in Ireland and went golfing with them before getting to [over] taste the local love that is Guinness. All in all it sounded like a pretty solid trip.

Bellator Signs Paul Daley and Melvin Manhoef for Added Violence

Look, when it comes to a Scott Coker and Rich Chou-run Bellator consider us believers. Not Beliebers because we aren’t 12 year old girls (are Beliebers a real thing anymore? Has everyone moved on?), but we believe. Strikeforce was the little promotion that could, putting on some of the most memorable MMA events to happen on American soil and doing so with whatever resources they had at their disposal. Now with the muscle of Viacom behind them with Bellator, we have high hopes for a Coker-run Bellator.

Today’s news is just further preaching to the choir that Coker built as the promotion announced the signing of Paul “Semtex” Daley and Melvin “No Mercy” Manhoef. Both men are known for their explosive, violent histories in both MMA and Kickboxing. Paul Daley is currently on a crazy, violent streak since his return to kickboxing in 2014, with four wins in a row via knockout, three of which came from his deadly left hand, all were credible opponents.

Manhoef, of course, is coming off of the destruction of Cyborg Santos in their rematch in Brazil as well as competed in GLORY’s Last Man Standing Middleweight tournament against some of the best kickboxers in the world.

The Evolution of Phil Baroni, Now With Four Eyes

Phil Baroni has evolved, that much is hard to ignore. People have long-griped about Phil Baroni, claiming that his gas tank is not what it should be for a MMA fighter of his level. What they are ignoring is that Phil Baroni is evolution, he’s beyond the mortal, corporeal realm. Phil Baroni’s gas tank simply cannot keep up with him. That’s the facts and we are sticking to it.

The latest evolution of Phil Baroni is that Baroni went to take care of some licensing stuff, but while being checked up he walked away with another step in the evolutionary ladder; he walked away with four eyes. Unbelievable? For some, maybe. For the New York Bad Ass? No, it makes perfect sense and we applaud him on his latest evolution. This Phil Baroni enjoys the finer things in life, he wears a smoking jacket, smokes a pipe in front of the fire, then starts throwing bombs and knocking suckers out.

Dude in Pittsburgh Uses Sparta Kick to Finish Fight

The ranks of amateur MMA are confusing, at times. Sometimes dudes are wearing headgear, sometimes they aren’t. Something they are wearing kickpads, other times they aren’t, but might have headgear. I think it’s about time we just hand the reins over to Jens Pulver and let him fix the whole thing, but that’s just like, my opinion, man. Alright?

The movie 300 has really ruined us as a culture and how we view Spartans. I feel like since then we’ve had a giant surge of Sparta-fetishism, from calling races “Spartan races” to fight teams fashioning themselves as Spartans. Look, Spartans were weird and there is every indication that Spartans had really close, intimate relationships with each other, which I’m not sure that MMA people are all-that comfortable with just yet. Maybe in another time. Until then, nobody is a Spartan, just dudes with smartphones and maybe a beard.

We are also ruined because a powerful teep will forever be the “Sparta Kick.” That’s okay, I guess, for lulz. We do a lot of things for lulz. Lots of things. So I’m letting this slide. For lulz. Skip to 7:46.

We Now Channel Our Energies to Matt Brown vs. Robbie Lawler with Road to the Octagon

Part of why we watch MMA is for the catharsis that comes through watching a good fight, through watching your favorite fighters slugging it out and putting it all on the line. It’s what we’ve been missing over the past few years. That feeling of elation when a favorite wins, replaced by the disappointment of watching our heroes head down darker and darker paths. There has been a man who has resisted the change of seasons, that man is Robbie Lawler.

So let’s open up our minds for what might be the fight of the year this upcoming weekend; Robbie Lawler vs. Matt “The Immortal” Brown. Recognize this as the reason that we watch, the kinds of fights that make our very existence illuminated.

Recognize this as your own nature. Abandon your fear, abandon the terror you project. Let your mind rest beyond flesh and bone. Look from a place of understanding, your mind is a conduit. Your mind is as vast as the universe. Rest in this, in the clear light of existence. This light is divine.

Being Dana White makes us think that we're all hiding behind masks, or something.

Whether it bothers us or not, Dana White really is the face of the UFC. Yeah I know, that’s absurd. He’s a promoter, not a fighter. He should stop prancing around the set of the Ultimate Fighter like a jacked up Liberace, and he should redirect all that attention to the good men and women who have bled all over themselves for this god-honored tradition of combat entertainment. But before you even try to argue the issue, check out this latest edition of the fight magazine GONG Kakutogi.

A brilliant advertising executive decided the best way to promote the event was to totally obscure the faces of Mark Hunt and Roy Nelson with Dana White masks, and to re-name the whole thing “Being Dana White.” The real Dana White may even be in there, hiding behind a mask of his own face. That’s probably an amazing metaphor for something.

I guess, in a way, we are all hiding behind our own Dana White masks. We display this brash, impenetrable face to the world. But underneath that false exterior, we are all just overweight knockout artists or weird judoka fetish models.

Or maybe Japanese ad execs should stop drinking so much on weeknights. But then, when it's Suntory time...

Lyoto Machida does 'The Dragon' to the smooth sounds of Lady Gaga

Elusive karate demi-god Lyoto Machida was filmed dancing at a Lady Gaga concert this weekend (or at a really impressive karaoke bar). Dressed like a cross between Roger Huerta and a college freshman lumberjack, the former UFC middleweight contender crushed our expectations as he clapped, then danced a sloppy Irish jig, during the chorus of Bad Romance.

He’s the Dragon, for God’s sake. A man who is custom built for elusivety. Look at him. Admit it. He’s dreamy. Everything about the man screams Anderson Silva victory dance. At least give us a little of that thing Rashad Evans does when he’s waiting in line at the post office. But he didn’t, and we’re left with something just a few degrees better than a Randy Couture lizard dance.

So when you find yourself awkwardly swaying to a remix of Britney Spears’ Toxic during an engineering department frat party next weekend, don’t be surprised if someone mutters, “Oh sheeeeet, he’s doing the Dragon.”

SuperCalo: The Spirit of Marcus Davis lives on in Connor MacGregor

Folk new to the world of uFc may tell you Connor Macgregor was the man who introduced the sport of uFc to the Irish. However old time folks will know of the man who first lit the fire in the Celtic heart , the man who inspired a generation of youngsters to take up this marital arts mixed, amongst them no doubt a young Macgregor. Ara cod ? indeed I am.
 
The Irish hand grenade, the Celtic warrior, the direct descendant of William Wallace, the Wacker of Waterford, the Prince of Pogue, Marcus the Main-ac Davis was the man that main evented the first uFc event in Belfast KOing the legendary iron chinned Jason Tan at uFc 72, winning KO of the night
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
At uFc 93 In Dublin Irelands favourite son returned to do battle against Politician & Fire Man Chris Lights out Lytle, Marcus won again winning fight of the night.
 
 
Sadly due to Politics Marcus was never to return to fight again in Ireland for the uFc despite buying a house in the town of Waterford.
 
However his son in terms of Irish mMa Connor Macgregor now continues the legacy Marcus started
 
 
Hard of fightin, drinking, braggin & knockin out Macgregor carries on where Marcus left off defeating the American Diego Brando for once again another performance of the night in Dublin for Irelands favourite sons.
 

Pro Wrestling Fantasy Booking: Conor McGregor

Last night in Dublin, Ireland we saw the UFC’s latest star finally get born into the world with a huge win in his hometown. The show was focused solely on the merits of Conor McGregor’s name and the self-promotion that he’s been doing for himself over the past few months. In fact, they were easily able to pack 9,000 of the most raucous, insane fans into that arena, to the point where those in attendance claimed that they’ve never heard anything like it, the UFC even claiming that they had thousands and thousands of fans upset that they couldn’t get tickets.

So now comes the question: How long does it take for the UFC to mess up this new star that they have at their disposal? Part of making and presenting a star is the grand illusion; the ability to protect them and make them look like a million bucks constantly. According to UFC.com’s Rankings, Conor McGregor is at #12 right now, with the immediate talk after the fight on the broadcast being that Dustin Poirier is currently without an opponent and that it would be a good fight. It might be a good fight, but it might also be the end of Conor McGregor’s hype train, which isn’t a good thing for any of us.

So it’s time to turn to the book of the age old profession of pro wrestling for guidance in how to fantasy book Conor McGregor’s rise to superstardom. Of course the UFC is As Real as it Gets(TM), so they don’t have the luxury of everything turning out like this, but it’s a rough road map to making Conor McGregor into a sustainable star for years to come.

UFC 177 vs. Jeremy Stephens

Conor McGregor walked away from his win over Diego Brandao without a scratch on him, looking to immediately get back into the cage and prove himself to not only be a warrior, but one that isn’t afraid to take risks and to push himself. Conor cuts interviews about how Jose Aldo and Chad Mendes are so afraid of losing that they keep delaying their respective fight.

The fight is quick and brutal. Stephens is a solid hand in the Featherweight division and he thinks that a win over McGregor will get him back on track. Stephens notes that this is a very quick turnaround for him as well, but the fans are clearly in Conor’s corner. Conor picks up a first round, walk off knockout and after the fight declares himself the People’s Featherweight Champion.

UFC 179: Aldo vs. Mendes II

It’s October now and McGregor has two big wins from the summer. He’s unbooked for now, but during the pre-fight press conference McGregor intrudes carrying a championship belt of his own. He calls out both Aldo and Mendes, claiming that he doesn’t care who wins, that he considers himself the real champion regardless of the outcome.

During the fight McGregor is shown in the crowd looking unimpressed, championship belt slung over his shoulder the entire time much to the boos of the Brazilian crowd. Aldo picks up a hard-fought victory over Mendes, but is worse for wear after the bout, re-injuring his shoulder, which they assume will sideline him for a few more months. McGregor once again intrudes upon the post-fight press conference and Dana White is visibly upset, having security drag McGregor out.

November vs. The Korean Zombie

McGregor petitions for a fight following UFC 179, claiming the sooner the better, against anyone. He calls out the top five ranked Featherweights, claiming that none of them can touch him. The Korean Zombie responds via Twitter amused, with McGregor quickly taking to the media to run him down. Dana White announces Chan Sung Jung vs. Conor McGregor to headline a Fight Night event in mid-November.

McGregor claims that his People’s Featherweight Championship is on the line and insults Jung for “choking” against Aldo, claiming that he’ll do it again when challenging for his championship. Fans are rallying behind McGregor’s fake championship while Dana White is taking a hands-off approach, obviously claiming it’s unsanctioned, but refusing to bar him from carrying it around.

Fight time comes and McGregor walks out with his corner holding the championship above his head. They continue to do so while Buffer announces them, trying to lend credibility to this “championship.” Jung is able to hold his own throughout the fight, absorbs some serious damage and even tags McGregor a few times. McGregor looks mortal a few times during the fight, but never in real trouble. McGregor finally able to put him way in the third round. Post-fight McGregor calls out Aldo, who is still recuperating from a shoulder surgery, declaring himself a more fighting champion than Aldo. McGregor petitions to defend his “championship” on UFC’s big end of the year event.

When Rogan questions him about his goal of becoming the UFC Featherweight Champion before the end of the year he scoffs, holding up his own championship and declaring that he already is the champion while the crowd eats it up. McGregor continues to treat the championship as if it were a sanctioned UFC title, positioning it before him on the table in the post-fight press conference. Dana White likes the idea of another quick turnaround for McGregor, but claims that Aldo won’t be ready for December.

December vs. Frankie Edgar

Frankie Edgar is looking to get into the mix for another shot at Jose Aldo and begins running his mouth about how McGregor needs to wait in line like the rest of them. White immediately books Edgar vs. McGregor for their year-end event, the winner going on to get a shot at Jose Aldo. They are once again running Chris Weidman and Ronda Rousey as the main event spots, Weidman vs. Vitor and Ronda vs. Carano, but the media finds itself talking about Conor McGregor vs. Frankie Edgar just as much.

The talk is that this is too much, too soon for McGregor, that it was all in good fun for him to declare himself the real Featherweight Champion, but that Frankie Edgar, coming off of his dismantling of BJ Penn, is simply too much for him. McGregor continues to talk trash throughout, most of it aimed at Jose Aldo for not being a fighting champion, while he is. The media are beginning to question his logic of ignoring Edgar and keeping his eyes on Aldo like this.

Fight time comes and the fans are fully behind McGregor. Same deal as before with his championship, he treats it as if it were the real thing and people are eating it up. Edgar gives him the fight of his life, taking him down and holding him there, bloodying him up real well with hammerfists. Frankie Edgar, though, always gets dropped in every fight. Late in round two McGregor drops Edgar and swarms, only for Edgar to hold on for the bell. Going into round three McGregor’s team feels that it’s one round apiece and they urge him to be careful, to just try to hold on for the victory.

McGregor starts out slowly, but is taken down again. He’s able to fight back to his feet, but it’s halfway through the round and he sees the fight slipping from his hands. McGregor backs off and begins taunting Edgar, putting his hands down and urging him to hit him in the face (his face being a bloody mess). Edgar throws a combination, but it’s just a set up for a takedown, which opens him right up to a brutal knee to the face that puts him on the ground. McGregor doesn’t swarm, though, he stands over Edgar, screaming at him to get up.

Edgar stands back up, visibly wobbled only for McGregor to immediately pounce on him, raining down fury upon Edgar’s face until he crumples onto the mat and the ref has to peel McGregor off of him. Visual of a bloody McGregor on top of the cage holding his championship is all over the media that night.

During the post-fight interview McGregor calls out Aldo, inviting him to challenge him for his title in Ireland, claiming that Aldo’s had his time in Brazil and now it’s his time to not only defend his title at home, but to take away that “fake” title that Aldo has been carrying around with him.

March 14th vs. Jose Aldo

Yes, they book Jose Aldo vs. Conor McGregor in Ireland just days before St. Patrick’s Day at Aviva Stadium in Dublin (holds about 60,000 for football, closer to 70,000 for the cage and production setup). UFC felt unsure about the ability to fill up a stadium with Featherweights, but they were able to exceed expectations for the crowd. McGregor feels like a superstar going into the event, but many outside of Ireland believe that Aldo will be able to ultimately exploit the holes in McGregor’s game and grind him out to a decision.

The media is more and more embracing McGregor’s People’s Featherweight Championship, which he is bringing with him to every appearance he makes, even being photographed with it in public. Doubters are slowly beginning to believe after the win over Edgar, but many still see Aldo as the stopping point for the frate trane(TM) that is McGregor.

Fight time and Aldo looks sharp as always, while McGregor’s demeanor is that of a determined one. There is no cartwheel in the ring before the fight, he’s determined and focused. Aldo is able to effectively nullify most of McGregor’s offense for three whole rounds, which has a packed stadium in Dublin in a fervor. Commentary turns to talking about immediate disappointment in the crowd. Fears of a riot are real as reports of fights breaking out in the crowd are coming out and McGregor looks crestfallen before the fourth round.

The fourth round starts out the same, Aldo in control, keeping the distance, using his jab and leg kicks to keep McGregor from being able to mount any real offense until a left hand from McGregor finds the mark, stunning Aldo. Aldo staggers back into the cage only for McGregor to come roaring in with a huge knee that lands not on the chin, but the previously-injured shoulder. A left to the jaw follows up and Aldo is down and out. McGregor stumbles over him before collapsing mid-ring, slamming his fists down on the mat while the crowd has gone absolutely mental.

Conor McGregor is the UFC Champion, Conor McGregor is a national hero. He’s a superstar.

This is how you make a champion, this is how Conor McGregor becomes a champion and a legend. This is probably not what will happen, not what will happen at all, but hey, that is what fantasy booking is all about, right?

Apparently it was in Writing That Steroids Were Okay in PRIDE

Look, we’ve all suspected that guys fighting in PRIDE were juiced to the gills because of how lacking the testing was in Japan. Was there any testing? Apparently there was testing, but the testing wasn’t exactly what you’d expect it to be. See, in Japan, they are pretty harsh on recreational drugs. KID Yamamoto’s career went from him being a shooting star to a reject because of a scandal involving marijuana. Yes, you read that correctly, KID Yamamoto was discovered to be at some yakuza-laden weed party and the mobsters and shady connections weren’t the scandal, but the weed was.

That’s Japan in a nutshell. For some reason Enson Inoue posted a photo on Facebook the other day of a past contract with PRIDE, the photo being of the section on drug testing. It was an eye-opener, to say the least. There, in writing, it said that steroids and performance enhancers were excluded from the tests, while weed, coke, heroin and other drugs were prohibited. Japan, amirite? Enson Inoue has always been honest with the world about just about everything, from his involvement with the yakuza to his making amends to the people of Japan and everything in between. 

 

Subscribe to this RSS feed

Log In or Sign Up

Registrations are OPEN this week.

Log in with Facebook

Forgot your password? / Forgot your username?