Menu

It's Batman Day! Check out the evolution of the Batsuit in one, tidy infographic

Today is a special day in America. It’s the goddamn Batman day. Yup. Batman has a plethora of fancy gadgets and toys, but he also has his own day. Normally it would just be a day to buy a random Bat-logo t-shirt, talk about how your prefer Michael Keaton over Christian Bale to assert yourself as the king meta-Batman fan when really you just come off as an elitist hipster dick, or maybe brush off that copy of the Absolute Long Halloween. This year also just happens to be #Batman75, an event in which DC Comics celebrates the Dark Knight, and continues to tell everyone that Batman was created by Bob Kane, while replying, “Bill who?” Seriously. Google Bill Finger right now. It's like some Court of Owls level conspiracy shit.

This is where a lot of people would state that what has made Batman such an endearing character over the past 75 years is that he has no super powers. It’s not like whenever he gets into a jam against some of the more powerful residents of the DC Universe he can just throw on a Yellow Power Ring...oh...wait...he’s done that? On more than one occasion? Okay…well still. Hal Jordan, Jon Stewart...and all those other Green Lanterns don’t technically have any super powers without a ring so we can just let that slide. Anyway. People like to paint Batman as an inspirational figure because anybody can be Batman. As former Batman scribe Grant Morrison once said, “Gym and Sherlock Holmes, and you can easily be Batman,” but let me just say this - the idea that “anyone can be Batman” is total bullshit.

Sure we can stretch the limits of our imagination and delude ourselves into thinking that we can train ourselves to physical perfection, and master all of the martial arts. But what everyone seems to [expletive] forget is that Bruce Wayne is a [expletive] billionaire. If you aren't Donald Trump, Mark Cuban, or Jay-Z then you can’t [expletive] be Batman. I mean...There was a period where I guess Vince McMahon could have been Batman, but then there was that whole thing where the WWE got a good TV deal, and not a great TV deal, so now he’s more akin to Bruce Wayne after losing all of his money in The Dark Knight Rises. Vince doesn't seem like much of a philanthropist either. However, as certain of his more lewd story lines have suggested he might be a full on rapist. I dunno. He might be a charitable dude, but I haven’t seen anyone post a link on Facebook that I won’t read and just infer misinformation from a headline that is nothing more than click bait, so I can’t say for sure. Dave Walsh would probably know.

Random “Where is he going with this” diatribe aside - Batman is awesome. Batman has always been awesome. Batman will continue to be awesome. So, in honor of Batman Day and #Batman75 check out this awesome infographic courtesy of HalloweenCostumes.com complete with Bat-nipples, but lacking Batman, Inc.

Raw July 21st: Brock Lesnar is Plan C, Stephanie in the Lockup

Raw last night was probably one of the better episodes of Raw that we've had for a while, in fact, it was probably better than WWE Battleground in a lot of respects. Those of us that read too much about wrestling rumors on the internet and read every issue of the F4W and WON were anticipating this week’s Raw for one reason and one reason alone; the return of Brock Lesnar. There was also the fact that John Cena wasn’t going to be on the show as a plus. That was a plus.

As always, with anything WWE produces, there was some good, there was some bad and there was some stuff that made us embarrassed to be in front of the television as an adult. It’s always going to be that way, but instead, let’s focus on the good.

WWE Battleground Happened - Here's Our Breakdown

Tonight was indeed a night, as that really awful song from Raw always tells us. WWE Battleground went down tonight and there was good, there was bad and oh yeah, there was a lot of ugly. That’s okay, because we watched it for you so we can tell you what to check out on the replay on WWE Network and what to avoid like the plague.

Funny how that works, right?

The pre-show actually had two, count ‘em two matches! Fandango took on Adam Rose and Naomi took on Cameron. Great way to toss in two worthless storylines from television over the past few weeks into the mix, I’d say. We’d probably skip this entirely, but it wasn’t exactly a half hour of my life that I regret.

The show then kicked off with the 2/3 Falls match for the WWE Tag Team Championship between the Wyatts and the Usos. Dear god did this deliver. If you watch nothing else from WWE Battleground, you check this match out no matter what. We won’t go as far as to say “match of the year” or anything close to that, but these guys have chemistry together and put together some tremendous finishing runs. This was really the match of the show and needs to be watched if you are a fan of wrestling.

We were supposed to get Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose next and instead we got Rollins backstage cutting a promo before Ambrose attacked him and Triple H ordered a bevvy of suited men to carry Ambrose out of the building and not allow him back in. I didn’t know that road agents were doubling as security guards now, I guess there were no beefy local wrestlers to pose as security for them this time around. This means that this match didn’t happen and we were all really bummed about it.

From here on out things get a little fuzzy and not that great. AJ Lee vs. Paige came up next and it was awesome that they got a different spot than the usual death/piss break one, but it was not awesome that they got about ten minutes (including entrances) to work and that the match fell apart a few times. A few of the spots looked like they were in slow motion or just didn’t work at all. I dunno, these two might not have any chemistry together or whomever laid this match out had no clue what to do with them.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger had us all really concerned that they were going to talk about missiles and shooting down planes and they came really, really close to that. Like to a crazy degree, but held off, thankfully. The match happened and it was a fine hossfest, but no Big E hossfest. Everyone is starting to think that Big E is the hoss savior of the WWE right now. Jack Swagger takes a crazy looking whip into the ring post and gets counted out, which means this will keep happening. It’s Groundhog Day and we all are Bill Murray.

Seth Rollins came out to demand to have his hand raised and to be declared the winner over Ambrose by forfeit, which then happened. While walking to the back Ambrose jumped on Rollins and they had a pretty fun pull-apart brawl that spilled over into the crowd and onto the announce tables. It took half of the road agents in their tan suits to drag Ambrose out and kick him out once again. Really should have found local security, guys.

Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt was up next and this had potential to be the match of the event, but Chris Jericho is older, he’s part time and he hasn’t had a bigger match in a long time now. Every bit of this showed as he was slower with some of his “quick” spots and just isn’t able to do what he used to be able to. A super abrupt ending came when Jericho hit the Codebreaker out of nowhere and got a three-count to a rather muted crowd response. Not what anybody wanted, that’s for sure.

Rollins is being escorted out of the arena when Ambrose jumps out of his rental car trunk and another brawl ensues. Rollins speeds away finally and I guess we’ll get a great match at Summerslam but still bummed that we got all of this time dedicated to them tonight without, you know, a match.

The Intercontinental Battle Royal happened and there were some fun spots. In fact, Kofi Kingston had TWO fun spots in the match, which has to be some sort of Kofi Kingston battle royal record. Miz pulled the old Jerry Lawler trick of getting tossed out without getting tossed out and hid for the entirety of the match. Heath Slater was super, super over, which was kind of awesome, being one of the last guys left. It came down to Ziggler vs. Sheamus with Ziggler tossing Sheamus only for Miz to run back in and toss Ziggler out for a very heelish win.

The main event then, uh, happened. Look, we all knew that John Cena would win and that Roman Reigns would look like Superman and that is exactly what happened. The only thing was the finishing run looked identical to last month’s finishing run featuring pretty much the same guys. Finisher after finisher after finisher. It was ridiculous and goofy. They must have done the finisher, pin, guy comes in for the save spot about four times in a row before Cena AA’d Orton onto Kane and pinned Kane. The problem wasn’t #LOLCENAWINS but #LOLSTALEFINISHINGRUN.

WWE Battleground is Live TONIGHT - Let's Break it Down

Tonight is yet another WWE PPV event, following in the monthly tradition that we’ve known for what feels like forever now. This is of course not a major WWE PPV, but some sort of transition and it kind of feels that way, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t stuff worth watching tonight at WWE Battleground, because there is. The best part about WWE PPVs now is if they have a show like this you aren’t hemming and hawing about spending your hard-earned money on what might be a disappointing show (which could also be tremendous and worth your money) because the WWE Network has you covered.

The show begins at 7:30pm Eastern time with the WWE Battleground pre-show on the WWE Network and the full event goes live at 8:00pm Eastern. Of course, you can still order this via PPV if you have to, but c’mon, the WWE Network is such a value.

Here’s a breakdown of the card.

In Russian GTA the Cops Shoot Freely at Anything

If there's one thing as sure as superCalo's betting strategies, it's that there is a direct correlation between a country's incarceration rate and it's ability to put out entertaining videos on the internet. While the US has more entertaining videos on the internet on all general topics, Russia has far more entertaining videos involving car accidents. That's because country size is directly correlated to the number of dash cams owned by the country's inhabitants. What do you get when you cross the largest country in the world with the world's #10 country by incarceration rate? Criminals getting into car accidents. Now what do you get when you add in police officers that are allowed to carry and use firearms? Police officers shooting at criminals that are getting into car accidents.

If you look at it the right way, there's absolutely nothing wrong with this video except for the fact that is wasn't filmed via dash cam. Thank god it was filmed from a balcony, though. 90% of all Russian videos not filmed by dash cam are filmed from a balcony. Now watch what happens when a Russian doesn't have his borsch in the morning.

Subscribe to this RSS feed

Log In or Sign Up

Registrations are OPEN this week.

Log in with Facebook

Forgot your password? / Forgot your username?